beaniepudblue
26-02-07, 22:04
Hi everyone. Im a new member who is looking for support and new friends. Im 29, from yorkshire, im mum to a gorgeuos little boy who is 8. I have suffered bad anxiety and depression since my teens. It was made worse when i was in a violent relationship with my sons father, which i managed to escape from 4 years ago. im now with a lovely man and we are trying for our own baby,(see below). He understands my problems, but can never take them away. my anxiety and depression haunts me every day and i sometimes cant control it. Ive been on and off medication, including citalorpram and propronanol. Some of my symptoms are anxiety, paranoia, sweating, thinking people are looking at me, breathlessness/chest aches (which really scare me):( :( . Also i have an intense phobia worrying about something happening to my son, me or mike. Sometimes i check on my son in the night over 3 times. I go to bed sometimes frightened that i wont wake up in the morning. I hate feeling like this. I never used to be like this when i was at school. What changed in me to make me have these problems??? Sometimes i can go a few days feeling ok, then other days like today i can be really low and really bad:( It got worse in 2005 when a very good friend of mine who i went to school with committed suicide. It brought on the anxieties worse, chest pains, stuttering and alsorts. :( This has also made the intense fear of something happening to me or my family worse. Im currently not on any medication with us wanting a baby. But even that has gone downhill for us, as after 18 months of trying, we found out my partner is infertile:( :( after months of talking and crying we are now going ahead with a donor(donor sperm)....
Im currently in a job which i hate and someone i work with is making my anxiety worse, so much that i stutter when i talk to her (nervousness), because she watches everything i do and i keep making silly errors and it looks like im to blame all the time. Ive got so many things going on right now, i feel like its all too much. I have so much support off family and friends, i even have a website for mums and get so much support but it still dosent take it away.
Im just looking for friends and need to rant about how i feel
((((hugs))))) to everyone
Jen xxx
Im currently in a job which i hate and someone i work with is making my anxiety worse, so much that i stutter when i talk to her (nervousness), because she watches everything i do and i keep making silly errors and it looks like im to blame all the time. Ive got so many things going on right now, i feel like its all too much. I have so much support off family and friends, i even have a website for mums and get so much support but it still dosent take it away.
Im just looking for friends and need to rant about how i feel
((((hugs))))) to everyone
Jen xxx