Another work anxiety

[Chocolateface]

Hi All

Ok this will sound silly but I have gone from being ok to all panicky in the space of 30 mins. Work has been ok recently albeit very busy. It has been that busy that gatting a tea round in has been tricky. Well me and my boss have been joking all week about it being 'about time we had a cup of tea' and such like. This got really jovial. On one day this week my managers manager heard the quips and joined in when I was getting the drinks by saying she thought I would never go, it was all in good humour with no offence made or taken (at least I didn't take offence).

Tonight when I was leaving my manager said to me, see you tomorrow and I said no see you Monday have a good weekend. My manager's manager heard this and asked if I wanted to go in tomorrow (Sat am), as she and others she managers will be in. I jokingly declined by saying I wouldn't cope with the excitement so wouls pass, then made a comment that I was only wanted for the tea, this was in reference to the fact that this week I have made more drinks althought I didn't say this.

I get the impression that my manager's managers took it in the wrong way I intended by saying it was nasty to say that I thought I was only valued for making tea.

I was ok with this but have just literally got myself in a state on it imagining all sorts was said after I left, and thst I will be pulled up on it on Monday

Even writing it seems so stupid to get anxious about but it has popped into my head and now I can't 'unpop' it

I hate having anxiety

Clare

[Oosh]

"You only want me for my tea !"
I think it's funny ! I think most people with a sense of humour would.

Any comments from anyone and just say "it was a joke". :)
It's not a crime to have a sense of humour. I'd have probably said the exact same thing.

It's a good job then that you didn't say "why would I want to be here at the weekend, I hate being here with you losers through the week !" :yahoo:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well your manager's manager was joking with you both before so she has every reason to take this as a joke because of the previous discussions.

Besides if they had taking it wrong, you probably would have seen their face change expression to something negative and then end up worrying about that.

You have shown that you worry about the impressions you give to people but also about your performance. Anxiety is irrational by nature, so have to noticed you haven't worried about how turning down the extra day could be seen as not being committed? You never mention it so I've assumed you haven't even thought about it. It's not a lack of commitment and managers learn to take such things as nothing as they are not expected yes all the time anyway, but I wanted to point that out so you recognise how those Cognitive Distortions zoom in on elements and don't consider the whole picture, good or bad.

You have nothing to worry about here.

[Chocolateface]

Thanks Terry, I am not due to work today it is another team that she manages that need to so even if I went in all I could do would be filing and tea making, lol.

Her face and tone did change but in my opinion and in other's opinion she is being unreasonable and unprofessional in how she is dealing with issues, I think she is just stressed and doesn't get that on a good day me and my manager can joke and banter like this.

You are right I do stress too much over what people think and will analyse every comment and spiral it to the worst possible outcome, which is something I am trying to not do

Clare

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well it could just be that she wasn't expecting you to say no.

Even if any offence was taken, which seems unlikely, all it would probably be is your manager asking you to be careful around person X as "they can be a bit funny", as in lacking a sense of humour.

But please don't worry about it and ruin your weekend. We can't always foresee other peoples moods.