Stress + weight loss

[Toby2000]

Hi,

Right if you know me, or read some of my past posts you'll know that I have HA.. centered around my mum. She's really stressed right now and since Christmas it's really been going downhill.. she's stressed with money (it's not that big of a problem, but she's single), worrying about ever having a happy life, stressed about me because I'm a big handful at home because I'm so anxious (I'm getting help) and she always worries about how I'll cope in the future with my anxiety, on top of having a very physical cleaning job (she works 3-4 hours 2-4 times a week).

My point is, my mum told me that she was losing weight in a bid to get me to realize how much of an impact I'm having on her life, which wasn't done maliciously on her part but like she's really desperate right now I think she wanted me to realize that I'm stressing her so much.

But having HA, I see all these symptoms differently so I'm scared she has cancer or something horrible as she's losing weight.

7 pounds since around Christmas she told me.

Is that anything to worry about? She loses weight really easily like when my sister had cancer when she was younger she lost 1.5 stone and last Feb even she lost about a bit of weight due to me stressing her, so she says.

I'm just so worried like I said that it's cancer, because she stopped smoking like a week ago and she's tired sometimes because she gets up really early in the morning and often after she's been cleaning she has an hour or so.. but I'm just so concerned as I see this as a symptom of cancer.. ugh.. plus she feels cold a lot like when it's average temp in the living room I'll be in a t-shirt and shorts and I'll feel nothing and she'll have a cardigan on with a blanket over her.. seriously? But that makes me wonder if she has a thyroid problem

I don't even know anymore

[Fishmanpa]

Awww... Toby... I truly feel bad knowing you're suffering :weep: This being an internet forum, I wish there was something to truly help you. You said you were getting help but I know it's not the case at this point based on your previous post.

Seven pounds in a month is not something to be concerned about (and I have to wonder how you know this) but your anxiety/HA will not allow you to see it that way. We don't know the true scope of your home situation but it appears that its an environment not conducive to helping you.

Hopefully, you'll get someone to help you with your thoughts and feelings soon. Best wishes and as always...

Positive thoughts

[Toby2000]

Awww... Toby... I truly feel bad knowing you're suffering :weep: This being an internet forum, I wish there was something to truly help you. You said you were getting help but I know it's not the case at this point based on your previous post.

Seven pounds in a month is not something to be concerned about (and I have to wonder how you know this) but your anxiety/HA will not allow you to see it that way. We don't know the true scope of your home situation but it appears that its an environment not conducive to helping you.

Hopefully, you'll get someone to help you with your thoughts and feelings soon. Best wishes and as always...

Positive thoughts

Thanks Fish. Yep my HA is getting worse than ever right now but thankfully I have an appointment for the doctors next thursday and a CAMHS appointment next friday. I know deep down it's really no wonder she's losing weight but you know HA and all :(

[Toby2000]

And now my mum has started smoking again because of all the stress.. I seriously can't cope with this, this is an endless cycle of suffering for me and I absolutely hate her right now, she knows what she's doing to me she just doesn't give a crap.

[Phuzella]

I'm hoping you don't really mean that

[Oosh]

You're thinking your mum is ill because you're always thinking about it. So recognise that the problem isn't your mum being ill it's you're having difficulty controlling what you put your attention on. Practice being able to focus on what you want. Have mechanisms for shushing anxieties as they try to take back over your attention and lead you back down the rabbit hole. Practice them and make them automatic.

Despite your worries, today and it seems like for the foreseeable future as she is currently well, your mum is ok :)

Now are all the other anxieties in your life being addressed ?
What are your plans for this next year ?
How are you going to make it better than last year ?
What do you want for your future ?
How are you going to get it
(What about mum shhhhhhhhhhhh mum is ok)
What can you do tomorrow to take one small step towards moving towards what you want ?
Do you want a partner ?
What do you want to do for a living ?
How do you want your future home to be ?
(What if mum is shhhhhhhhhhhhhh mum is ok)
What can I do to shake things up and change things ?
Maybe I can start some new hobbies like sports, fitness, learning, socialising because that change will stimulate me and improve my mindset and how I feel.
Etc
Etc
Etc

Squash, drown out, break up those intrusive mum/health thoughts before they get a chance to fully form and reduce their frequency as you feel you're succeeding and gaining control over them. Immediately get your focus back onto all of those other subjects in your life.

Be looking for pleasure, enjoyment, achievement, productivity in those subjects and not danger or what can go wrong.

Sometimes we can overly worry because we are in the habit of doing so because there are not enough other positive things going on. It's just what you do because you've been consistently don't it for so long now. You've got to break that up with change now. Think differently, adopt new mental tools, do new things.

[Toby2000]

Thanks Oosh that helped loads. You're 100% correct, it's just the way I see things, if I think she's ill she'll look ill so I need to drown these thoughts out.