Paralysed by fear

[elik]

I think I'm getting worse. Everything's too much. I feel so so distant and dazed. im scared all the time and can't get rid of the feeling and I've tried so many ways of soothing it and I'm exhausted and I'm running. I feel like there's no point in anything because anything good in my life is temporary. I don't know why I keep terrorising myself and I just can't break the cycle. My mum thinks quetiapine, the new drug I am on is making me more irritable and angry but I think although it's not helping I'm just getting angry in gener because I don't know what else I should be doing. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I feel like I'm rushing against time to feel ok and i feel plain weird. Like very very strange and disassociated and isolated etc especially now that the guy I was involved with has cooled things off with me as he suffers from similar issues and he was the only person who could distract me from this and I connected. It's unfortunate circumstances #throwback #food #fitspo #fashion

[unspoken]

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling worse. I think sometimes by worrying about our anxiety it can make it worse, but then you can't stop the worry. It sounds like you're getting depressed too. It's difficult to separate an emotional reaction to a situation from a medication side effect, but your mum might be right as she is seeing you from the outside, so worth discussing with your doctor.

I had a similar situation to you, in that I was seeing someone who is depressed himself but we still had some good times. But then he was feeling self destructive and pushed me away and said some really mean things without any warning and then blocked me. That happened last weekend and it really upset me because I keep seeing things and thinking of things that remind me of the time I spent with him and it makes me really sad. I am sad and angry but I do get that I needed to take time to focus only on my own life and try to get myself feeling better.

When are you next seeing a doctor or other medical professional?

This is a really bad time, but things will get better. I've found that depression tricks me into believing that everything is pointless and nothing will ever get better, but those are just the distortions depression makes to your memories and thoughts about the future. You are strong and you'll get through this, it will take time though. Try to focus on the here and now and on meeting your own basic needs and try to separate your thoughts about the long term. The long term thoughts can wait, put them away for another day. Right now you should just focus on existing and looking after yourself - eating, sleeping, trying to keep entertained, and gradually you will feel calmer and more able to cope.

[TalkTonight]

Hi elik

To suffer from incessant anxiety is horribly distressing.

I wish I had some words of wisdom to impart. Alas, all I'm able to tell you is that you're not alone. I too feel exhausted from running. From experience, these crises pass. Life isn't insufferable forever.

I'll race you back to sanity!