does being angry mak you feel worse

[trish1955]

i am a verey anxiouse person best of times but due to a lot of bad things goin on in my life and have been goin on for a few years now i am angry all the time ans the more angry i get the worst my anxiety gets i suffer agaphobia and health anxiety as well and it all seemd twice as bad since been carrying all this anger around there is a lot i want to say to people in my life but hold back as i no they wont like what i say so in order to keep peace every thing stays bottled up inside of me like i say makeing me feel worse wish i could be brave enough to get it all aout bye for now trish

[IzzyB]

Hallo. I'm sure that anger directed towards an appropriate target would be a good release and therefore beneficial in relieving tension, stress and anxiety. However, if you are bottling up feelings of any kind, be they anger, grief, guilt etc then they will manifest in frustration which I am sure would heighten your overall anxiety levels.
I am not the best advocator for this since I am quite lazy, but if you are unable to address the particular people or situations causing your anger, then perhaps some physical exercise might be a good idea? I used to go to boxercise, which was brilliant when I was in an awful job and hated my boss - he became the punchbag!

good luck, izzy xx

[Piglet]

I loathe getting angry (yet I seem to do it so well :mad: )!!

I hate the way it makes me feel afterwards - but I always feel anger turned inwards is most unhealthy.

If I get angry and it's not a situation that is easily resolvable (like a call centre for instance) then I run up the stairs a few times, or jump on my mini trampolene to get the fierceness out! :)

If it is more in the way of family conflict etc then I either say my peice in a hopefully calm but firm manner (standing well away from throwable items) or I try and distance myself from it and see if there is anything I can do to alter things.

Sometimes in life you need to choose your battles wisely!!

Like Richard Carlson says 'Don't sweat the small stuff'!!!

Piglet :)

[davidthegnome]

Funny you should mention that. Yes, when I get angry I tend to become anxious. I think in my case, it's because of a fear that I might do something irrational or lash out when I get angry. I never do, but my anger seems to build up anxiety within me. I would second what another said about excercise. Walking, running, hiking, yoga, anything you can do to get yourself physically active. This should definitely help you to channel your anger in a positive way.

Are you angry about something in particular? Or is it just little things that get you all ticked off? If you can find the specific things making you angry and try to address them in a positive way, it should help. One thing I have done, when I find myself angry at another person, I try to imagine myself as them. I try walk in their shoes and picture why they did or said whatever it was that made me angry. This usually helps a great deal as I am always able to forgive after doing this.

If that does not help you, why not try to express your anger in a calm way? Tell the people you're angry with that you're upset and want to get it off your chest. Talking about your feelings can be difficult at times, but it is almost always worth your effort and time as you can generally learn a lot from others.

Perhaps you're angry with yourself. I'd suggest keeping a journal and writing down your angry thoughts and what you think is bringing them about. This may help you to vent some of your frustration.

In itself, anger is not a bad thing, it's a part of what makes us human. It can give us more energy and strength - what is important is how we choose to express it. Keeping it bottled up inside will just keep adding more fuel to the fire and sooner or later lead to an explosion. Releasing anger may not always be easy, especially intense anger, but it can be done.

Good luck and God bless you. You are not alone in this and I am sure you will find a good way to handle it,

Dave

[mirry]

interesting post !

Well I know what you are talking about, I used to be the same , carried alot of anger because I used to let everyone walk all over me and not do anything about it. Then one day I did a self esteem course and
"what an eye opener it was" , since then Ive been alot better, If we are keeping our anger locked inside it will make you feel powerless then if you are feeling powerless you can then start to feel useless , so then you will end up lacking self esteem feeling everyone is better than you.

Remember, theres nothing wrong in telling someone the word "NO",
The more you let people take advantage of you , the more they will.
You are just as good as the next person.

[Hexia]

I certainly know that feeling, I get very anxious when I get angry. The really good part is that I have learned to adress my anger. And once it's out, I can literally feel the anxiety lifting.
You don't absolutely have to say or do anything in the situation. What I learned was to visualise what I would like to do in the situations where it would be inapropriate to do anything (or when I didn't have the guts to do anything, LOL)
Play the scene out in your mind. Imagine what you would say or do it there were no limits. Punch the people in the face, kick them in the shin or yell in their face. Just doing this can actually also cause relief.
And I do agree also that a punching bag or any kind of "violent" excercise is a great idea.

[delta]

i can relate to this completely. I get very angry and tend to hold it all in :mad: , I find it impossible to assert myself in any situation without getting upset, the next day I know I will feel worse: tension in neck and shoulders, worsened headache; but still I get angry. Just wish I could stop sweating the small stuff as someone said :)
D

[trish1955]

a big thanks to all replies i feel a bit better haveing shared my feelings with people who do understand but its like i say there is so many things and people i am angry at you no i wake up first thing and seeing as i have gone to bed angry i wake up the same way but so much as happend in my life over the past several years and the last two have had big disaters like two of my daughter in nov 2005 had there windows shot through with a shot gun at that time myself three daughter and my older sister all lived on same street wich had become my world i could visist them all evry day as i could leave my home to go to there homes any way the polichad to move us for safty we all got split up wich haded to my stress and anxity i now have finaly got a house next door to my oldest daughter wich took a year to get my sister sa now moved into my area and two daughters live a long way from me whats made me worse is the man who did as got away with it so we lost evrything for nothing i will be angry about this for some time to come theres alot more to this story take far to long to tell any way thanks again bye for now trish

[Bran Bran]

I think it makes mine worse, I think it can aggrivate it. Everyone is different though. Being angry is stressful for me, so naturally I get more anxious when angry. I think you have to force yourself to think possitively or at least realistically to maintain a healthy mind. plus anxiety makes you irratable sometimes too, maybe its the other way around, like the anxiety makes you angry, instead of anger making your anxiety worse. Hmmm. I also notice if I keep things bottled up, my anxiety can get pretty bad. You need to vent.

[QueenVictoria]

getting angry to me doesn't make me feel worse, it makes me feel better. as i'm getting angry at what i'm getting angry at, it distracts me from my anxiety. and once you get over what your angry at you will have a) already gotten over and forgot about your anxiety and b) gotten whatever made you angry off your chest 8]]