can someone please help

[white1989]

im really going to lose the will to live at any point now. ive been back to my GP about these headaches as last night, I lay down in bed and was in sheer utter agony, I felt like my head was going to blow up and it woke me a number of times in the night. I didn't feel too bad this morning but it has gotten worse this afternoon again.
my GP advised coming off the pill as thought that might be a cause, but also asked if I'd like to be referred for a CT scan to which I said yes. that's not going to be for about 2 weeks despite it being put in as an 'urgent' case. I truly believe I have a tumour or a blood clot in my brain, I'm fully convinced myself I've got a long journey full of operations and fear in hospital ahead of me. I just cant cope with thinking like this. besides the pain of this headache, I cant deal with the convincing fear that I'm going to leave my family and loved ones in mourning when I pass away from this cancer.
please can someone help or reassure me, I'm really in a bad state at the moment.

[NessMonster]

Oh lovely, it sounds like you're in a pretty bad place right now. I'm sorry about that.

First, let me reassure you that if your doctor thought that you needed a CT to happen immediately then he would have made that happen.

Your mind appears to be moving very fast through every worst case scenario and unless you put a break in that, even for a few moments, then you're going to be knackered by the time of the scan. My Mum has suffered from headaches for years. Most nights she goes to bed at 8pm because she is tired of them by that point and can't take it anymore. She's tried various painkillers which have only ever made her sleepy and not really taken away the pain. This has been going on for years, pretty much daily. She's still here. She's also had various scans over the years which have always come back fine too. Some people are simply more prone to headaches, especially when you are overly tired and stressed, which living with this type of anxiety makes you.

Rest, stay hydrated and use your distractions. You will get through this.

[white1989]

Hi NessMonster,

thank you so much for your reply, I'm sorry to hear that your mum has been suffering so much, but its reassuring to hear that they have not found anything sinister. I'm hoping that's the case for me, I just cant bring myself to believe it. im getting myself in some real states in these last few days, I had what I think must have been a panic attack on Wednesday night and I had to leave my desk as I felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breathe. I ran home and my partner had to try and calm me down until I fell asleep because I was convinced I was going to stop breathing. now since then I have spent 50% of my days focusing on my headaches, and the other 50% focusing on whether I can breathe or not. its really exhausting.

thank you for your encouraging words, I really hope I will get through this too.