Handing in my notice while signed off my my GP

[GirlAfraid23]

I'm having a very, very rough time at work as some of you may have seen in my previous posts.
I'm not enjoying it there and I can't even tolerate it anymore after being accused of saying something I didn't say to a child in my care at the school I work in.

I just keep thinking of my childhood and having flashbacks to those times and how much better my life was.
It's very hard to rationalise what's going on in my mind at the moment.
I don't feel like my usual self.

I'm currently signed off until after the half term but going back to my GP today and going to ask to be signed off for the duration of my notice period as I'm sending the email/letter early next week - I've been told I need to give a month's notice but I don't want to work there a month, I just want to get out of there.

Any advice from anyone? How should I word the letter? And will this hinder my chances of employment in the future.

[KeeKee]

I'm not sure about future employment but I don't see the harm in getting signed off until your notice expires.
Some employers may let you off without working it especially given your circumstances. I would just tell them about your struggles and maybe say you don't know how long you'll be unable to work so you feel it's best to leave so they can employ somebody else. Make them feel as though you're doing them a favour.
If I was accused of saying something I hadn't said I simply would not put up with it. Although children lie so I don't think the adults in the school will take everything they say as the truth.

[GirlAfraid23]

I'm not sure about future employment but I don't see the harm in getting signed off until your notice expires.
Some employers may let you off without working it especially given your circumstances. I would just tell them about your struggles and maybe say you don't know how long you'll be unable to work so you feel it's best to leave so they can employ somebody else. Make them feel as though you're doing them a favour.
If I was accused of saying something I hadn't said I simply would not put up with it. Although children lie so I don't think the adults in the school will take everything they say as the truth.

It was an adult who accused me.
Thanks for replying. I feel like my whole world is imploding.

---------- Post added at 11:08 ---------- Previous post was at 10:11 ----------

How bad will it look for a prospective employer if my reference states: "she was signed off sick during her notice period"?

[beatroon]

Hello there,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so unwell.

I would prioritise getting better over everything else at the moment. I have a friend who was signed off sick and that covered his notice period, so he never went back. It was something he agreed with his GP and I don't think there were any problems with it.

Is it possible you could seek some more support from your GP in any case? It might be helpful to consider medication, if you haven't already, and CBT or other talking therapies, which can all help you get over this speed-bump. (Sorry if this is doubling up on what others have said or not appropriate to your situation!). Just to say that there is lots of support out there, and you don't have to go through this alone.

Sending good wishes and good luck,

Beatroon

[MyNameIsTerry]

Have you considered asking for a chat with the head? You are very sensitive to how you are perceived from what I can tell but you could be doing a lot of mind reading and to him/her it may be a much smaller event.

[Magic]

Hi. I agree with Terry. If it was me I would not give in to anything that was not my fault. OK . Could you not make an appointment to see the head?
just to get things said. Then if you wish you can give in your notice if you are not happy. Things happen in every job.

[GirlAfraid23]

Hi guys,

Terry and Magic, it isn't just about that accusation. I also feel like I don't want to go back there, there's a lot of backbiting and bitching going on and has been for a while. That sort of atmosphere makes it difficult for me to work.
Also my MH has got lots worse and work is making it more difficult to cope. I've had other personal things happen to me which doesn't help so an accumulation of everything has made things very hard.

I feel doing the agency work (which is as and when) will make things easier for me as I feel there's a lot of pressure on me at the moment.
My GP has advised she thinks it's best I resign and don't work my notice period as my MH is very delicate and I'm getting used to meds/waiting for CBT. My concentration is impaired and I really don't feel like myself, I'm so nervous, even driving, I feel like I've only just passed my test although I've been driving for years.
I don't feel I can return there. I've written out my resignation letter and also an email and I hope I can pluck up the courage to send both tomorrow.

[Magic]

Hope you will be able to find a better place for you to work girlafraid, when you feel ready.
You seemed to have turned a corner in you personal life as I had not seen you on here for a while.
Hope you feel better soon .x

[Tyke]

Sometimes if a working environment is completely toxic it is best to leave, though as always there are advantages and disadvantages to going. Would you be prepared to say goodbye to this kind of job for the forseeable future? If you went for something similar afterwards they would want to know why you left. If you go for something completely different it is easier to say that it didn't work out and you weren't suited to that type of work. It would therefore be more easier to obtain work doing something else entirely, though it may well be a more menial and less well paid job. There's nothing at all wrong with that if you feel better for it and you can manage on the wage. I once worked in a factory after a similar experience to you and didn't regret it although the loss of status can be viewed negatively by some people. The new employer just needed the labour and wasn't too fussed about what had happened before, that was of more interest to my new colleagues.

As regards your resignation letter, that is very much a personal choice. I always keep these things brief and to the point. I never say more than is necessary, it will remain on your personal file and can be referred to subsequently if you need a reference or something. If you feel the whole place is toxic and there's nothing that can possibly be salvaged by talking to the head, I would go for a straightforward 'I have decided to hand in my notice' and give them the end date of the (one month) contracted period with little else. If you feel that they have not supported you, you don't owe them anything and it is best not to get drawn into any infighting.

One final question though - are you sure it has come to this point? Do you have no faith in anything coming out of a frank discussion with the head which could possibly lead to bit more support? If you don't rate her at all and the place and you accept the career implications that's fair enough, only you can judge that, but are you really sure you've given it all you want to? A short break on sickness and help from your GP could mean you think differently in a week or two?

[GirlAfraid23]

Sometimes if a working environment is completely toxic it is best to leave, though as always there are advantages and disadvantages to going. Would you be prepared to say goodbye to this kind of job for the forseeable future? If you went for something similar afterwards they would want to know why you left. If you go for something completely different it is easier to say that it didn't work out and you weren't suited to that type of work. It would therefore be more easier to obtain work doing something else entirely, though it may well be a more menial and less well paid job. There's nothing at all wrong with that if you feel better for it and you can manage on the wage. I once worked in a factory after a similar experience to you and didn't regret it although the loss of status can be viewed negatively by some people. The new employer just needed the labour and wasn't too fussed about what had happened before, that was of more interest to my new colleagues.

As regards your resignation letter, that is very much a personal choice. I always keep these things brief and to the point. I never say more than is necessary, it will remain on your personal file and can be referred to subsequently if you need a reference or something. If you feel the whole place is toxic and there's nothing that can possibly be salvaged by talking to the head, I would go for a straightforward 'I have decided to hand in my notice' and give them the end date of the (one month) contracted period with little else. If you feel that they have not supported you, you don't owe them anything and it is best not to get drawn into any infighting.

One final question though - are you sure it has come to this point? Do you have no faith in anything coming out of a frank discussion with the head which could possibly lead to bit more support? If you don't rate her at all and the place and you accept the career implications that's fair enough, only you can judge that, but are you really sure you've given it all you want to? A short break on sickness and help from your GP could mean you think differently in a week or two?

Well, I didn't think moving into a similar job would make any difference as I haven't done anything wrong. It just hasn't worked out, mainly due to my mental health.
I've been feeling like this for a while and I don't feel it's fair that I take more sickness time off as it puts a lot of pressure on the rest of the staff & children.
I'm also sure I don't want to work there anymore, not just due to the toxic atmosphere but also because I don't know if I like the job itself, I don't feel like there's enough support and I dread getting up everyday.
I have already signed up with a teaching agency and I hope that they can get me on board despite what has happened.

[Tyke]

Well, I didn't think moving into a similar job would make any difference as I haven't done anything wrong. It just hasn't worked out, mainly due to my mental health.

I have already signed up with a teaching agency and I hope that they can get me on board despite what has happened.
GirlAfraid, there is no reason why you shouldnt stay in a similar job if you succeed in applying again, it is just harder to convince an employer to take you on if it seems you left a similar job on health grounds. They would think what if the same happens again here? I totally agree you have done nothing wrong, but that is not the issue. It is how a future employer sees it from both sides. Should your old head be contacted by phone at the referee stage (much less likely these days, but still possible, more so in education due to child protection responsibilities) it is unlikely she would agree you'd been unfairly treated or she was in charge of a bunch of unsupportive selfish backstabbing employees and that you were right to go. Your head may also feel you didn't give her any chance to deal with the issues properly if you hadn't raised these concerns with her directly. Even without any reference issue, you would need to think very carefully about how you would explain your job suddenly ending on health grounds and why it would be different this time round.

Having said that, I think signing on with the teaching agency is an excellent idea and possibly a good way out of these difficulties. It gives you a good way of proving yourself on a more casual basis which can get you back in there again with a fresh reference on the cards once you've been on their books for a bit. It just depends on how much work they can get for you and would it be enough for you to live on? How did you explain your current situation to the agency though? Were they understanding, or did you just simply say you were looking for a bit more work? At the end of the day it is all down to others to make these judgements on us and in reality they can go either way, all we can do is keep trying and give it our best shot.

[GirlAfraid23]

Right so it's all been done now. I sent it a few days ago and got a reply - very brief:

Dear Jenny
Thank you for your email and I wholly understand and accept your resignation. I will need to talk to (office manager) about the final working date to see if that is ok.
Best wishes for the future.
(her name)

Mine was a very detailed letter but I found this particularly short and to the point, what do you guys think? Am I overthinking it?
She also didn't mention anything about references :( does it sounds like she's being friendly enough to give me a reasonable reference?

[Messenger]

She also didn't mention anything about references :( does it sounds like she's being friendly enough to give me a reasonable reference?

Hey Girl,

I can see why this might worry you, it is quite a curt response. On the other hand it simply appears that your employer is putting the needs of the organisation before your needs which unfortunately is not unusual..

I feel for you, I am also contemplating my career due to changes within the sector that I cannot reconcile and have decided to take a period of sick leave (currently on week 2) with no plan to return anytime soon!

I would really like to know how you go on with this transition, good and not so good and will be following with interest.

:hugs:
Matt

[GirlAfraid23]

Hey Girl,

I can see why this might worry you, it is quite a curt response. On the other hand it simply appears that your employer is putting the needs of the organisation before your needs which unfortunately is not unusual..

I feel for you, I am also contemplating my career due to changes within the sector that I cannot reconcile and have decided to take a period of sick leave (currently on week 2) with no plan to return anytime soon!

I would really like to know how you go on with this transition, good and not so good and will be following with interest.

:hugs:
Matt

Hi sounds similar to my position. I will be posting updates on what happens.

Do you really think that was quite a cold response? Do you think I have any hope of using her as a referee? I will need to put my last employer down for all jobs I apply for in the future.

---------- Post added at 09:45 ---------- Previous post was at 08:29 ----------

I'm really panicking now. Can anyone help? She has yet to get back to me about the end date :(

---------- Post added at 10:47 ---------- Previous post was at 09:45 ----------

Anyone else? :(

[Magic]

Hi, As she said Good Luck for the future Sounds like she would let you use her name down as a referee. Perhaps you could ask via email.
Try not to panic Jenny. I know it is hard for you and other folk in the same position
Good Luck x

[GirlAfraid23]

It's very difficult to keep from worrying.

I did ask the head if I could use her and the school as a reference but she has yet to reply but the office/admin person has emailed me about sick notes and final dates etc. I just haven't heard anything about references :( what shall I do? Should I just assume and put them down anyway? They're my most recent employer so I don't have much of a choice. I feel awful. Why do I do these things to myself?!

[Emma1027]

If your signed off I'd use some of that time as your notice period. If its not enough time then say you will use the rest of our holiday as notice. The other choice you have is to extend your sick note for a couple of weeks ect so it covers the months notice.

[almamatters]

I know where I work a colleague handed in their notice while on sick and did get references off the manager at the time. Like you say, they ask for most recent employer . I hope it works out for you.

[GirlAfraid23]

Emma, I have been signed off for the duration of the notice period.

I'm really getting myself into a panic, why have they ignored the question about references? And why are they being so cagey with me?

As I've asked her to be a prospective reference and I've heard nothing, is that a good or a bad thing?
If she didn't want to give me one, would she have just said no?
Also does the reply she sent to the original resignation email sound ok at least?
Like she might be willing to consider it?

I feel so sick, I hope I haven't ruined my chances of a decent future.

[Fishmanpa]

I think you're filling your head with a lot of negative "What Ifs" and making your anxiety worse. Trying to read into their response and/or lack thereof is an exercise in futility. At this point, what's done is done. What's most important is getting yourself well enough to move forward. Then, let the chips fall where they may.

While I've never been signed off from a job, I've certainly had my share of crappy situations and have walked out under not so good circumstances (I'm not one to take crap from anyone). I choose what I put in my resume' and what I share with a prospective employer. If they ask, I tell them it's personal.

Good luck and as always

Positive thoughts

[GirlAfraid23]

I think you're filling your head with a lot of negative "What Ifs" and making your anxiety worse. Trying to read into their response and/or lack thereof is an exercise in futility. At this point, what's done is done. What's most important is getting yourself well enough to move forward. Then, let the chips fall where they may.

While I've never been signed off from a job, I've certainly had my share of crappy situations and have walked out under not so good circumstances (I'm not one to take crap from anyone). I choose what I put in my resume' and what I share with a prospective employer. If they ask, I tell them it's personal.

Good luck and as always

Positive thoughts

Thanks Fishmanpa, I thought I was getting better but clearly my anxiety is as bad as its always been :(

I'm going to try and get well again, then hopefully I'll get another job and one with a less toxic environment.

[Fishmanpa]

I wouldn't say your anxiety is necessarily as bad as it was before, but from reading your posts/threads on this, the work situation definitely wasn't good for you and made things tougher on you.

I always try to look at positives instead of negatives. Perhaps this is the best thing that could happen as it removed you from a toxic environment and will allow you to feel better and find something better for you.

Positive thoughts