Struggling with coping alone

[Seffie]

Hi I'm really struggling today as just feel overwhelmed with the continuous struggle of coping with anxiety and panic attacks. Have had anxiety etc on and off for around 25 years but it has been the worst for the past 10 years I think triggered by the menopause. I have a lovely husband, family and friends but none of them understand what I'm dealing with ( why would they) and although I don't want sympathy I feel like I don't get the same support or compassion that people get with a physical problem. I also feel like people just label me as a neurotic / nervy / weak person but I'm none of those things! I want to tell them how incredibly brave people with anxiety / PA's are! Do they have any idea how brave you have to be to just do ordinary everyday things like going to the supermarket, driving into town or going to a restaurant?!
My anxiety seems to have escalated these last few months and I feel like it's creeping into so many areas of my life that anxiety free days are rare. I'm working hard and using the anxiety coach site and book but realise that I now need a therapist to support me and coach me as I work through this. I won't take meds and never have as I'm pill phobic so I read and read and work as hard as I can to overcome this but some days I feel very alone and just wish I had someone who I could turn to. My lovely mum who was always on my side and was always there for me died 10 years ago and there isn't anyone else who can support me like she did.
Just needed to vent, not looking for any suggestions or advice. NMP has been a huge support over the years and is a great place to come when you're struggling. So grateful for this site - I just wanted to feel less alone in dealing with this crap.
Seffie

[Xtrastrongbint]

Hi Seffie - I to have struggled with anxiety for over 20 years and it's tough! I've only been on this forum a week and I find it a godsend just to feel you are not alone...some great advice on here too :)

[Seffie]

Thanks Xtra! Although it says I'm a newbie I've actually been a member on here for 9 years and was just looking at some of my old posts-bit depressing to think I've been struggling all those years!! Yes lots of great support here, you gave come to a great place!
Xx

[Dc1980]

Feel your pain!

People stare at you so funny if you try and talk so you just clam up. Then you feel awkward discussing it and then you're in ANOTHER cycle!

Even if you feel like you're talking to a brick wall just say your peace here. Those who know, know!

Take care :)

[faithfulone]

I agree, others don't understand at all unless they've gone through it. I've found a lot of comfort here. I know it's not like having someone that you can physically depend on, but most of us here our families and friends have no idea we are in the condition we are in. I think a therapist is a wonderful idea. Just out of curiosity have you ever taken anything for the menopausal symptoms? My anxiety, palpitations, and hot flashes are worse when my hormone levels are low.
Have you tried mindfulness / relaxation techniques and have they helped any? I'm just starting some of these and they do help me relax at least for some moments.

I'm sorry, I guess I was giving advice (went back and read your post again).....I'm sure you've done most of these things I suggested.

[Seffie]

Thanks DC and faithfulone! Yes I have tried various different therapies, herbal stuff etc etc! I have never taken hrt as don't like taking pills but meno symptoms are much better now. I try to eat right, get enough sleep, avoid rushing around, practice mindfulness and make sure I get me time but sometimes life gets in the way of all these things!
I have arranged to see a therapist next week just to help to support me with my exposure therapy practice and to give me encouragement and confidence. Sometimes you just need someone who will give you some support and not judge you or make you feel like you're being neurotic. We are not anxious people - it isn't who we really are - we have just got caught up in an anxiety disorder and given the right circumstances it could happen to anyone.
Thanks for the support, misery loves company as they say!!!!!
Seffie x

[faithfulone]

You're right in that it really helps to have someone to provide some support and especially someone that can help! I'm glad you're going to see a therapist. Let us know how it goes.

[winter-blues]

Hey there. You are definitely not alone. I've been suffering my Panic Disorder for about 20 years (off and on). I actually was doing really well until about 7 weeks ago when my Panic Attacks started up again. It's funny because I believe most people understand about anxiety and even panic to some degree and millions of people suffer from Panic. It's not really uncommon. Just do a search on the web and you will see how many websites their are out there. True fact more people go to the emergency room for Panic Attacks then people who are having a heart attack. At least that's what my Dr said. It's okay to feel frustrated. I feel that too a lot these days. Feel free to vent away, that's why we are here.

[Lisakaye]

Hi selfie and everyone!
Welcome to the 20 years club :)
It's hell on earth especially when you've suffered as long as we have, but we have to keep keepin on! Your story is similar to mine in that I'm pill phobic aswell and my anxiety has come back since I went through early menopause aged 37, I'm 44 now.
I've been back to the docs today and he's referred me for CBT again but you know how long the wait times are!
One thing is for sure though, we are all in this crazy shit together :hugs:
Take care

XX

[pulisa]

Just wanted to add my support and full empathy. There's no way I could discuss this with anyone else in my family-it's an isolating experience.

[Seffie]

Thanks everyone! Your support and empathy is much appreciated, after getting so many supportive replies am feeling much better than when I first posted.
Thanks again xxx

[Kerry31]

I'm currently doing the exposure therapy, I totally understand how hard shops and doing the little things people take for granted, I can't even take the kids to the park without having the aniexty hit me like literally 😑, my partner or my dad don't understand it, when I tell them I'm having aniexty attack there like no your not your fine when inside I'm so not fine,it's so good when you can vent it all out with people who understand X X

[Seffie]

You're right Kerry, it's so hard for other people to understand but I get annoyed that people either dismiss what you're going through or just look at you like you're a freak! Although I think it's important to talk a bout it to help remove the stigma I have found that people aren't interested, they can't see it so think you're making it up and because of this if I feel anxious in a social situation I tend to hide it because I don't want people judging me and this makes the anxiety worse as I have to cover up how I'm really feeling. Then I think it's not worth going out and would rather stay home than put myself through it but of course that's no way to live is it?!
Take care xx

[Kerry31]

Oh I totally get that, i have lost loads of friends because I can't go out with them anymore, instead of them wanting to learn about aniexty and maybe help you they just break contact,
What they can't see it's true they don't believe it or think it's that bad. I
Think if there was more awareness
Of aniexty people would understand more, X

[AnnaZV]

Hello everyone! I'm also eligible for the 20+ year club! I suffered on and off for about 10 years until I made some changes in my life and the panic attacks subsided and finally disappeared completely for over 18 years. However after suffering a massive clot a year ago, the panic attacks have returned with a vengeance in the last six months. I have been prescribed antidepressants but refuse to take them so far. I am hoping the panic attacks will pass as they did once before but as the frequency and intensity increases, I am feeling doubtful. Grateful to be sharing with others who know what it's like to suffer this way. This site is indeed a comfort.