Struggling again. Can't Eat. Need some reassurance

[winter-blues]

So i've been battling this for about 7 or 8 weeks now. There's been some positive and yet I'm still stuck.

Currently I'm suffering from Panic Disorder revolving around a Phobia. I get panic attacks when I eat. It's the thought of having food in my body that for some reason gets me panicky. I'm not afraid of the food and I'm worried there is anything wrong with it, it's more that I'll have a panic attack after I eat, so then I avoid eating. Which as you know is not a good idea.

Here are the positives. I'm currently taking Luvox, about 237 mg (on my way up to 250mg tonight) and regularly taking 1/2 Ativan either in the mornings or at night to help me relax. I have a very good psychiatrists who I see at least once a week and a supported ann loving wife. On top of that my job is fairly low stress, with great benefits and I enjoy going to work.

But now the bad news, this food thing has me in a tizzy. Last night I forced myself to eat a half a bowl of soup and a slice a cake that my wife made, then end up have 2 or 3 panic attacks after ward. The attacks are fairly quick but very as always scary and upsetting. I was up half the night shaking. God I feel like I've had so many panic attacks in my life I don't even know where to start.

Anyhow, I have been researching CBT because I hear people have had good results with it. And I'm worried that Medicine isn't doing it's job. I mean I've had a handful of good days, but then I'm still struggling with this Phobia thing.

Okay, please let me know if you have any feedback or thoughts.

Thanks

[Arietis]

Hi Winter Blues

I struggle on and off with something similar. I wouldnt call it a true phobia as it doesnt always bother me but, I have a fear of foreign objects in food. Be it a bit of plastic or metal or even just a hard piece of stalk if its fruit etc. I would check over and over when I am cooking that nothing but FOOD goes into my cooking pots and ensuring all packaging from food is opened carefully and nothing gets in contact with the food itself. I personally haven't opened or eaten any tinned food in years because I fear that some metal fragment from the can will get into it. I would have a panic attack if I ate something and felt anything remotely odd in my mouth while eating it.

So I kind of understand your phobia to a degree I think. Its good you're managing some food, make sure what you do eat is good and nutrient dense. CBT is something I have recently booked myself on to do as well because Ive heard good things.

I really hope you find a way to combat your fear and we are all here for you in the meantime :)

[winter-blues]

Thanks for the feedback. I'm actually sitting at my desk right now trying to force myself to eat some crackers. It sucks. Have you found any treatments or solutions that help you?

[faithfulone]

I've been having health issues the last 2 months or so and still am not right. Will see the doc again tomorrow and I'm sure for more tests, but I've lost quite a bit of weight and though it's not panic attacks that's causing my no eating, it's the pain after I eat that makes me afraid to eat. I've noticed the longer I kept being afraid to eat, the harder it was to eat. I really had to psych myself up so I could have energy and not wither away. I just started telling myself a little bit of food every couple of hours won't hurt, it will only hurt if I overeat. IDK if this helps with a true phobia, but I know most of us that have panic attacks a little exposure at a time helps with also changing our thinking and getting reassurance that with each time the fear lessens.

[winter-blues]

Hey faithfulone,

Ive notice the same thing. For me it's easier to avoid food all together, but it almost makes it harder when I sit down and try and eat again. It's a vicious cycle that's been going on two months for me.

Are you on any meds?

I'm currently on Luvox but I'm not sure it's working as it should be. My Doctor keeps telling me it will stopped the Panic Attacks, but yet i still feel anxious and panicky after I eat.

[faithfulone]

I took Paxil for about 1 month and then weaned off. I felt like it helped at first, but I was getting more anxious with it (about 3 hours after) and easily aggravated so I weaned off. I've taken it in the past before and it really helped, but I was more depressed at that time. This go round I feel much more anxious. I am taking a small dose of anti-anxiety med that helps take the edge off. Still eating small meals about every 3 hours.

[winter-blues]

I'm trying the trick of eating smaller meals as well. Luckily water doesn't make me as nervous so I'm drinking a little more water and that helps to. Usually I take a half an Ativan at night or in the morning. I'm still not comfortable take a whole pill let.

[faithfulone]

I'm doing much better with smaller meals throughout the day overall. I feel much better eating this way than the way I was before. My energy feels more level instead of the highs and lows of eating large meals. I also drink about 2.5 liters of water a day., an

How's you're eating been today, any better?

[winter-blues]

Actually I did really well this morning and afternoon, but then I started getting panicky later in the day and had some panic while eating dinner this evening.

I guess just the fact that I had any progress today is positive.

Sad but true. I've lots some weight since my Panic came back, but also I believe my stomach has shrunk a little. So now I cant eat as much anyway.

[faithfulone]

A little improvement at a time, I think that you made some progress.:) Just take it slowly and keep reminding yourself a little food will help and not hurt.

[winter-blues]

Thanks Faithfulone.

Yeah I'm trying to stay positive, but it's so hard right now. I was just thinking about every time I start to feel a little better and then have some panic I slide right back into thinking I'm getting worse. It's an awful feeling.

[faithfulone]

Yea, I find panic sets in and gets worse before better, but hang in there and grab onto the small improvements you notice. Each time you find some relief and longer periods without the panic celebrate that and it will get better. You'll start noticing they're not as strong as before or last as long. I used to feel so paranoid when they came on I wouldn't move or do anything. Now when they come on I might still run out of somewhere, but I think okay what can I do with all this energy. I don't run and hide as much or head to the sofa.:sofa:

[AnnaZV]

Hello winter-blues an everyone! I also have the same problem. I regularly have panic attacks after eating. My stomach feels heavy and nauseous even though I have not eaten much. Then the endless belching and shaking begins, which normally lasts about 3 hours but can last 6 on a bad day. I don't have a problem with the food, I suffer from emetophobia and until I joined this group I had not realized how very common this phobia seems to be. Anyway, frequent small meals seems to be the best solution. How long have you had this? Did you overcome it at some point and relapse? Rest assured there is hope. I have had this twice in the past and lost so much weight my hair was falling out, but it passed. I'm suffering from panic again after 20 panic free years and hope to overcome them once more. My experience is that life changes many times help in pulling us out of the vicious cycle.

[winter-blues]

Hey AnnaZV,

Yes it sounds like we have had some similair experiences. I've had this happen to me twice before in my life. I eventually got over it although it took months, and I was much younger. I also have 16 years of with out Panic Disorder and it came back again about 2 months ago. I've had a couple of good days, but it's been very hard. Today I had my first protein shake, because I'm worried I'm not eating enough. I usually eat about 4 or 5 small meals / snacks a day so I am eating some. But it's not like it used to be. Like yourself I'm not actually worried about the food, but I believe that this is related to some OCD I had in college. What kind of treatment are you seeking? Ar eyou on any meds?

[AnnaZV]

Oh my, it does sound like we have a lot in common! :) Have been prescribed antidepressants but refuse to take them so far. However, when I'm particularly anxious or feel an attack coming on, I take anti-anxiety medication. I must admit that setbacks like these are disheartening but having beat it once...well, we can beat it again!

[winter-blues]

You seem like you have a great attitude. I wish I could be a little more chipper and positive, but's so hard at times. I try to fake it, but as you can tell from the screen name Winter is not my favorite time of year. I hate the cold weather. I'm sure if it were summer i'd feel a little better for sure.

[unspoken]

I had something like this when I was 14. I think it was a mix of emetophobia and being run down from having recurrent tonsillitis. Nobody ever diagnosed it as a psychological problem but it clearly was. I had a phobia of eating with other people around, which was particularly bad around lunchtime. I'd get a dry mouth and nausea when I tried to eat. The doctor gave me Stemetil which is an anti-nausea medication but it didn't help much.

It did get better eventually but I still have problems eating when I'm very anxious. I find it helps to distract myself and not focus on the fact that I'm trying to eat, by eating in front of the TV or while doing something else. I find making food that I can put in the fridge and come back to later means I don't feel pressured to finish it. To deal with the dry mouth, soft food that's fairly liquid-based helps me. Sometimes I find any food that tastes strongly of anything makes me feel sick so really simple things like potato, rice etc is easier to eat.

Most of all, try not to worry too much about food and eating because it'll become a bigger and bigger issue.

[winter-blues]

Hey Unspoken,

It's definitely been a struggle, but it's good to hear from others. I think what I'm starting to learn is that for me it's not a problem with food itself, its the worry and stress about the panic is it cause that gets me so anxious. Basically by avoiding food i don't have to worry about feeling anxious, but that is also dangerous and scary.

As for for your tips, I've been doing basically what you mention. I try to find ways to distract myself as much as possible after I eat. This helps distract me, although it doesn't always work.

WB