What if this isn't anxiety???

[Broomers]

I am new to nomorepanic I hope I'm posting this in the right place. Over the last few months I've found this site so helpful as a non member & im hoping someone can help me feel like I'm not alone, that's how I'm begging to feel. I'm not looking for a diagnosis but if anyone has felt or feels like this any support or reassurance would be great.

So here goes....

Rewind I gave birth to my second daughter in September 2015 vaginaly with epidural. I felt fine after the birth no more aches or pains then I had previously with my first. We had a few stressful events that followed my baby being born but I generally felt good in myself & was happy.

3-4 weeks post natal I developed a tingling sensation near my left shoulder blade it only came when I had bad posture like washing pots or sitting at a bad angle. If I didn't rotate my shoulder it almost felt like it went numb/twitchy with the tingling. As soon as I rotated my shoulder it would go. I went to my gp as my hands started to tingle slightly to, he told me it was a bit of inflammation from epidural & give it a few weeks & it would subside.

Stupidly I went home & googled, that was the day my life became a living hell. One by one I started developing more symptoms. Buzzing in my arms/legs, tingling feelings that last a few seconds here there & everywhere but disappear, twitching all over, crawling feeling on my face, twitching mouth/face, jerks that also affected my sleep & just as I'd drift to sleep id get this crazy rumbling feeling in my body. My skin went crazy sensitive, especially my lower legs I could feel my trousers on the skin & then my calves started tightening which made them sore & twitchy. I've also had constant dry eyes & skin since giving birth!!

So off I go back to my doctor sobbing & convinced I have nerve damage, he is such a lovely man & tells me this is postnatal depression/anxiety, my mouth nearly hit the floor I've been anxious before with panic attacks etc but I've never had such physical symptoms. He gave me 10mg of citalopram & sent me on my way. After 3-4 weeks I thought I noticed a difference I defiantly didn't feel so emotional or scared of my symptoms. But once again I googled & I would stop at nothing till I found an answer. I thought for a little while it could be ms but I thought jeez I must be the only patient ever with every single symptom of ms, so I discarded this then it was postpartum thyroid, then asl. But none of these were good enough answer then boom I found it, a Nero disease that can be caused by epidural. I have every symptom & I read other women's cases of it & I had similarities.

My panic went into overdrive I book emergency appo at docs & this was a different doc he did a little reflex test on me sent me for bloods & upped my anti d dosage to 20mg. Telling me that this was classic anxiety/depression told me stop googling as I'm not helping myself. I went away still not convinced, but I upped my dose, stayed away from Google & told myself if I was dying of some disease there wasn't much I could do about it anyway so why live my life worrying.

There seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel the twitching subsided, except for my calves & the jerks/buzzing etc went away I started to sleep & felt happy. I was enjoying my children again, I believed I was going to be ok & it must be "just" anxiety. But nothing lasts forever hay....I stated to notice I was still getting the buzzy tingly feeling anywhere on my body that last a few seconds & disappear some times very rarely it stays for a day in one spot but then goes. I get a burning feeling in my muscle between my shoulder & neck when i do things like putting the washing on, cleaning up or if my neck gets cold. I've also go these strange hot & cold sensations that last a few seconds & go. The hot sensation has become more of a stinging when it happens. I ache some days so bad all over & my hands feel fuzzy. The strange sensitivity on my lower legs sometimes everywhere plagues me a lot & my tongue tingles for a few days goes away then come back again. This all gets worse a week before I'm due on my period.

Sorry for such an essay, I'm due back at docs in 2 weeks & im so frustrated with telling him how I feel & him saying its anxiety. I know I sound like a classic case of anxiety/depression but I can't get the what if? out of my head. I know we should trust our doctors & I usually do but I feel so much better, I feel normal in myself but I keep developing new symptoms. I know he's not gonna take this any further which makes me feel trapped how can he be sure this is nothing serious all I know is I felt fine until I gave birth. Also I don't have panic attacks, I do get stressed with kids etc but nothing crazy.

Is there anyone that has experienced this/feels like this? Or even got better from this? I accepted this was anxiety & im not getting better. Also I had bloods done to for b12, thyroid, etc all came back normal.

[Darwin73]

Welcome Broomers:)
The symptoms you are describing sound very similar to those I experienced after having my second child. I'm afraid to say mine went on for a year and took me to a very dark place . I was convinced I had various neurological diseases: twitching muscles everywhere, even my tongue (and these were apparent to other people as well so definitely physical symptoms. I also remember feeling a constant buzzing inside, a sort of internal tremor that never let up. I used to be scared to go to bed as I would just have this buzzing going on inside me. It was very hard to explain to other people.

In the end I went to my doctor and asked to be referred to a neurologist. He was not sympathetic (and bare in mind I rarely go to the doc, so it's not as if I was there every week) and told me "it's not a neurologist you need, more like a psychologist". He referred me for CBT, which I had to wait a few months for, but I found it very useful. I was utterly, utterly convinced I had something terrible. However, over the months the symptoms started to subside, even the buzzing. I would never have believed it if someone had told me in the preceding year that in time I would feel ok again.

So basically, yes I can completely relate to how you are feeling. In my case, I'm sure it was brought on by a traumatic birth and was a reaction to that. I didn't take any meds, but found CBT helped me rationalise my thought processes. That and the passage of time helped me get better. You too will get better I'm sure and you have made a great first step in accepting this is anxiety. It took me a while before I believed anxiety could cause all those symptoms, but looking back, there is no other explanation.

Ironically, I do have B12 deficiency and thyroid problems now, but at the time (10 yrs ago), all bloods were normal.

[Allochka]

Hello Broomers,
Your sensations sound like classical anxiety. I had many of them - buzzing, tingling sensations, twitching all over. You are wondering why they don't go away now, after you felt all right for a while.
Please remember that it takes a long-long time for your body to get rid of the stress. Symptoms could last, even if you don't feel anxious ( at least when you think you are not anxious). Give it time, lots of time and come here for support until your therapy starts.
It is bloody anxiety, nothing organic :)

[Broomers]

Hi Darwin73
Thank you so much for your reply its so reassuring to hear that you've experienced similar symptoms & got better over time. I hope everyday that I will wake up & never have to experience this again. It's meant to be such a special time but with constant worry it's hard to enjoy your children. If you took a year to start feeling some normality it gives me hope that it's still just early days & ive got along way to go. Thank you again for your reply it's been a bad day & it's really cheered me up

[nirvanainchains]

Almost all of it, I experienced them. I am really sure you’re having Health Anxiety. I would not insert the word “Just" before Health Anxiety because HA is really a big deal in all of us sufferers. Those who has no HA would just laugh at me(my brother for example) but for me THE PAIN that I feel every day is real. I would suffer a very intense lower back pain that I can’t even stand straight or walk properly. I am still on my way in changing the way my mind behaves, if I would find a job someday I would support myself with therapy and hospital visits for additional help.

[Broomers]

I completely agree it's not "just" anxiety. I captioned it like that to show how my doctor saw it. To him it was "just" anxiety no problem, you'll get better, no need to panic it's nothing we can't treat... to me it's a living hell. I'm so sorry that you also suffer with this dibilitating illness

[itwillbefine]

I've been reading on this forum for some months now, and day by day I come more and more "to terms" with my symptoms, which are quite similar to yours. Reassurance seeking is not no. 1 on the list of good thing to do if you have health anxiety, but on the other hand it helps to know that we are many with these kinds of symtoms. Understanding that these sensations are in fact nothing sinister and that many people experience them can hopefully help you accept them and ride through the anxiety.

I'm still in the process of coming to an understanding of what this is, but one thing I've felt on my own body for sure: stress and anxiety magnify nerve symptoms immensely. Once you are relaxed again, you will feel the difference, I'm sure.

[mourningdove]

Do you feel bubbly? Like there's air pockets in there that travel around? I get that a lot.

[Broomers]

I'm finding it hard to accept this is anxiety, my symptoms started (hands & back) before I started googling & the panic set in. That's when all the other symptoms developed, but since I started anti d's in December I felt a lot calmer, I still worry but I don't panic & I don't feel stressed. Half the symptoms like all over body twitching have gone but some just won't let up & that's where I'm struggling to accept completely that it's anxiety & nothing sinister. I guess only time will tell, I'm fed up of constantly seeking reassurance I'm petrified the worse is yet to come. But I guess only time will tell, I don't google anymore & I'm trying to trust my doctor thank you for all your replies

[MrRobot]

I'm finding it hard to accept this is anxiety, my symptoms started (hands & back) before I started googling & the panic set in. That's when all the other symptoms developed, but since I started anti d's in December I felt a lot calmer, I still worry but I don't panic & I don't feel stressed. Half the symptoms like all over body twitching have gone but some just won't let up & that's where I'm struggling to accept completely that it's anxiety & nothing sinister. I guess only time will tell, I'm fed up of constantly seeking reassurance I'm petrified the worse is yet to come. But I guess only time will tell, I don't google anymore & I'm trying to trust my doctor thank you for all your replies

Sounds like Dr. Google sent you right over the edge, it's the same story with a lot of HA sufferes... "slight" symptoms to begin with (harmless in nature and easily explained by post-natal issues or something else), then the panic that sets in when we read about the horrors Dr. Google presents us with. A huge increase in bodily sensations that follow the next days, making us convinced it's something sinister and thus worrying/panicking more, increasing the symptoms once again. Trust your doctor. Don't worry about it. Get a second opinion if you think it will calm you down. But do not worry. I know that's easier said than done, especially when other symptoms develop. Remember that this is a hallmark of anxiety. Don't google symptoms again, and if you have to, make sure you type +anxiety in the search engine. You'd be amazed how many other HA sufferes share your symptoms. Hang in there.

[Shellyhay]

Sounds like a mirror image of me. I miscarriaged in October I was coming 3 months. Since then I have had the same symptoms started with the pin prick sensations all over then about 2 weeks ago my muscles started twitching! I have a hard time believing it's anxitey as sometimes they start when I don't feel anxious.
Seems like a never ending battle

[Toots24]

I get that buzzing feeling as well, ´an internal tremor' us exactly how I describe it to my doctor. It almost always happens when I'm trying to fall asleep, I've been told it's anxiety

[Shellyhay]

It's horrible isn't it ? I've felt great since Friday then this afternoon they started again. It's mainly the pricking feelings that get me

[Toots24]

Yeah it is pretty horrible, I'm kind of ok with it now because I'm so used to it and I try not to let it scare me. I get so many random feelings due to anxiety tingles and numbness is another one for me too, anxiety is such an odd thing I actually find it amazing that it can have so many physical symptoms, but yeah the tremors thing Is one of the weirdest I've experienced so far!

[countrygirl]

I call it the internal tuning fork sensation, its as if someohe has banged those tuning forks they use that vibrate and this is exactly what it feels like.

I too can relate to every single symptom you have, often they are due to tight muscles irritating nerves so they are physical symptoms its just the intitial cause is anxiety tightening muscles. This in itself can give you anything from stabbing nerve pain to weird skin sensations to twitching nerves/muscles.

You can be reassured that in the past 30 years I have had many mri brain scans and seen quite a few neuro's with my symptoms and no neuro disease ever showed up!

I have a very dodgy spine with bad discs but I didn't have these bad discs in my early 20's and I had all these symptoms then!

[Broomers]

I know I shouldn't look for reassurance but it's such a relief to know that others experience this to. Even tho I wish I could take it away for every single one of you. Anxiety is the worst!!! My symptoms are slowly disappearing but the calfsensations will not go away, I went to my doctor for my monthly review & he says I'm doing really well. Yeah great I don't feel it...told him I don't feel anxious & symtoms persist he wasn't in the slightest concerned. To be honest I don't know what I want him to do, I just want this to bugger off

[Shellyhay]

I also wish it would bugger off..... Some days it does but it always manages to come back , then I think what's going on I don't even feel anxious, stressed or tensed

[Broomers]

Same here it will go for a good few days & I think I'm getting better, it's gone...it must have been anxiety I start feeling happy then boom it's back. Then I worry why is it back I don't feel anything except normal. People say trust your doctor & I guess that's all we can do

[Shellyhay]

Maybe we should listen my blood tests came back normal except my iron was low and she wasn't concerned when I told her about my symptoms and I feared MS or neropathy. Also my family and friends say it's my anxitey. So really the only person that's worried is me. So surely if no one is concerned then I shouldn't be either if that makes sense .... But there's always the what if senorio!!!
I'm beginning to see a pattern atm though around a week before my period I feeling worse I've read up on premenopause I'm at that age its weird what symptoms that brings.

[cthechick84]

Broomers hi I could of wrote this post myself . I too have had my anxiety flare up after a very good few yrs. I have had my baby 3 months ago and about 2 wks in bamm it was back so I went back on my beta blockers again .I know am stuck in a panic rutt the vicious circle is there once again every little thing I try not to Google but would rather find a reason for all these symptoms .I can't accept it's anxiety and why does it come back after having my baby a v happy time I can't afford to be like this I have 5 beautiful children . I had a breech baby so had to have 1st c section so was scarey and think it didn't help but I just want to be myself again . I think the tingling pains are from holding baby and tension in our bodies but it doesn't help these worrying thoughts .I have suffered with this monster 8 yrs and have done so well it can be beaten try and tell ur self that . I suggest going back to ur doctors and tell them how u feel I am because I want to ask for an ssri I've heard they help the thoughts and mood haven't been on anti depressants in 6 yrs so may help me . I too want my thyroid checked as my eyes and skin r real dry and flaky and I'm always nervy on edge but could be clutching straws . Here if u want a chat anyway . Take care c x

[Broomers]

I just wanted to pop on here & update my progress, lots of people post questions & want answers or reassurance & so many of us read thread after thread & not many people tell us if they ever got better.
It took me along time but finally after not giving in to my body which wouldn't catch up with my head, my Symtoms slowey disappeared. But in that moment I never thought I would get better it was such a horrible time. I'm not saying I'm cured & that's it for me, I just know I'm not in that place anymore I still have times where I will worry about the slightest little thing but that's me & that will probably never change. Just hoping telling my story could maybe help someone who feels as lost as I did, that there is light at the end of the tunnel just don't give up xx

[Fishmanpa]

Great post and thank you for updating your thread. So man here have a hard time accepting it's their mind causing the symptoms and your post affirmed it's the case. Hopefully others will read this and take the healing steps toward recovery.

Positive thoughts