suicidal thoughts and i have a plan

[pezinlondon]

Hi all, sorry if this is the wrong section to be posting in, but there are more poeple viewing this forum so i thought i might get a quicker response...
So last night i was in a pretty bad way i had planned to to an OD and half drunk some vodka togive me the guts to go through with it,
After a while i thought id give samaritans for advice, they were really helpful and supportive, but but i still felt the same after calling them, so i tried nhs 111,
They asked a few questions about if i had a plan to go through with it and i told them i had a load of tablets and a bottle of vodka to go through with it, they ended up calling the police to my house and an amblulance, the police arrived first with about 8 offices at my door, i told them im fine and they left as i said an ambulance was on its way, when they arrived they took me to hostpital where i was waiting a good 5 hours for one of the psychiatric team to arrive, eventually they talked to me for a while and basically just told me to go home??
I mean was they right to do that?
Just makes me feel like if i was in the situation again i wouldnt even both trying to get the help, id just go through with it as the help i got was pretty much useless :S
What
anyone else had a similar experience?

[misslove]

If your worried about your well being you can get admitted into the hospital. At least you can here in the states. Drs. Are there the help but they aren't babysitters. Maybe they figured you were okay based on what was said during your conversation. Talk to your mom or dad or sibling or best friend or cousin anyone who you trust and ask them to sit with you or to check up on you. If something is that bad in your life your considering taking your own then I highly suggest you get yourself admitted into some sort of counceling center.

[pezinlondon]

Hey misslove, thanks for ur reply :)
Ive recently started therapy cbt, but i cant see how its going to help the way the first couple of sessions have been going :S
Maybe they thought i wasnt being serious or i wasnt ill enough to be admitted?

Ive struggled with anxiety, agoraphobia and depression for almost 10 years, ive tried every medication under the sun, the only one that helps are Diazepam,
The gp's i've seen have all refused me them based on there addictiveness and tolorence,
But every time i've felt bad i've took myself to hospital to see the on call psychiatrist, and every single on of them have recommended diazepam, but my gp is having none of it,
Like its my life and i kbow they work for me very well, it just doesnt make sense to me, the hell i go through on a daily basis and all those years wasted, i thought that would be enough for them to say enoughs enough this guy needs diazepam to take control of his life,
10 years is a long time and if things don't change i can see myself in the exact same position for years to come unless somethings done about it
its not like im fonna abuse them or anything i just want to feel normal again but theyre so scared to prescribe these things its ridiculous

[misslove]

I know how you feel. Reach out to friends or relatives and just talk. Depression makes you feel isolated but you can get help and feel better. Do simple things for yourself. Eat better food, exercise. I was feeling pretty crappy and I started working out and I feel better now. If you eat a lot of boxed or frozen meals that will make you feel yucky too. When I grocery shop I avoid buying premade stuff because I know if I have that box of mac and cheese is make it when I'm feelin lazy. i also find satisfaction when I cook a good meal my family enjoys and I know it's good for them. Also hug a dog! If you don't have one adopt one! My lab always knows when I'm sad and comes to me for cuddles. Also walking and caring for s pet will make you have purpose. Best of luck and you can pm me if you want to talk