need someone to talk too

[tricia56]

Too cut a long story short my son lives with me he is 31 doesnt work as he has epilepsy and few yrs ago hewas in a very bad relationship for about 3yrs with a girl and while he was with her he tried to harm himself a few times because of her, and ever since then i have alwaysworried that he might harm himself, i always pussyfooot around him and try not to upset him ,he has ago at me sometimes over onething or the other so most of the time i do things just to please him, but last night we had a big arguement because he smokes weed all the time and spends most of his money every week on it and i had ago at him because all he cares about is getting a weed he never has money to buy his ciggarettes so he smokes mine all the timehe does pay his board every week but i just cant afford to keep buying them for us both so i told him that im fed up with him smoking the weed because thats all he cares about and that he isnt smoking itin his bedroom nomore and if didnt like it he knows ware the door is he started slamming around and told me and my daughter to go and f--k ourselfs he started to pack his things and said he was going to live with his brother i didnt argue back at him because i kept thinking because i had ago at him wat if he trys to harm himself again and it will be my fault, i know i shouldnt keep feeling like this and worring all the time and pussy foot around my son because i get scared and rember the last time he tried to harm him self bytrying to get hit by a train, i know that was because of the very bad relationship he was in and the girl mest his head up in abad way but its ever since that happened ive been like this with my son always making sure he is ok, it doesnt help because i had the same thing with my sister for over 25yrs because she suffers with clinical depression and a alcolic and it was always me that had to deal with her every time she tried to harm herslelf and i used to do the same with her pussyfoot around her and make sure she was ok but i stopped doing that with her because i realised that she was a grown woman and that i wasnt responsible for her nomore but i cant do seem to think this way because its my son , sorry for such a long post but i just wanted to talk to some one .

[anxious1]

Honestly and i know it may sound harsh. But its now time you started putting yourself first, the longer you do pussyfoot around your son. The more he will expect it, sounds to me like he has you wrapped around his finger and you need to think of yourself first and foremost. After all. Is he thinking about you?

[Phuzella]

Totally agree with anxious1

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do, Tricia. I bet his brother won't put up with his behaviour like you have been so maybe soon he will be getting a taste of how reality works?

He shouldn't be speaking to you like that! He should also respect your rules - it's your house!

He needs to find some direction and get involved in things other than be around the weed. If he can't work, can he volunteer? Or are there local schemes he can get involved in?