View Full Version : Can I ask you a question?
95% of the posts on the first page of this forum start with 'I have this symptom - I believe I have this disease'.
Serious albeit slightly provocative question.........
When you ask a question like this, what is the outcome you hope to gain? Has it ever delivered it sustainably - I.e has seeking reassurance ever got you closer to your goal of no longer suffering from HA?
It's the million dollar question. Some things never change Chris ;)
Positive thoughts
As I was back in here I thought I would ask the question again. It really is incredible to see the difference something so simple can make. But with the caveat that it is incredibly difficult to achieve.
Admittedly, no. But then even when I do "checking" type stuff and am reassured in the moment, the second I walk away I begin to doubt myself until the anxiety just builds again.
Sometimes it is nice to feel less alone in certain things - to know someone else has been there.
It's quite specific to anxiety I think. That perversely the thing that makes us feel good in the now is actually perpetuating the bigger and longer term problem by keeping us locked in an anxiety cycle.
---------- Post added at 18:25 ---------- Previous post was at 18:24 ----------
I should add that I say this as someone who two years ago googled 14 hrs a day sometimes and asked multiple questions on here about all sorts of things.
Speaking personally, I have found that reassurance helps insomuch that if I have symptoms that I worry are due to a relatively uncommon illness, if others post to say they have experienced the same symptoms, then I rationalise that we can't all have the illness, so therefore the symptoms must be caused by something else, namely anxiety or a minor condition.
Sometimes it is nice to feel less alone in certain things - to know someone else has been there.
This helps me loads.. I was struggling until I joined this site, the fact that I'm not alone with my current problems has been a great comfort, sad as that sounds :blush:
Funny thing is we do it even though there's a chance it won't make us feel good.
Sometimes there's a happy article on google but of course we keep looking until we find the scary one. We check ourselves over even when we know the mole is still there or the lump or rash or whatever. It's like an addiction.
The nice thing about posting here is that no one answers immediately with what you fear.
Another issue that has been discussed is the fact that posting a thread and sitting around waiting for replies and reassurance just keeps that fear in the forefront and can actually make your anxiety worse. There's a current thread that illustrates just how detrimental this is. There is a certain comfort in knowing you're not alone and a cathartic benefit to writing out your thoughts and fears but it also feeds the dragon and prolongs the life of the fear.
Positive thoughts
I get everything that you are saying. I used to post on here lots but rarely do nowadays for a variety of reasons. I do stay in touch with lots of former posters though who no longer routinely suffer with anxiety. The single thing they had in common? They moved on from the phase of reassurance seeking even though it made them feel good at the time.
---------- Post added at 18:39 ---------- Previous post was at 18:38 ----------
FMP - I actually used to find it more comfortable to be anxious than to tackle my anxiety.
FMP - I actually used to find it more comfortable to be anxious than to tackle my anxiety.
It makes sense actually. I believe that anxiety bares comparison to a co-dependent relationship. As abusive as a situation like that can be, one stays in it as it's become a part of who they are. Even when an open door is provided (therapy/meds), one will refuse the help, grabbing onto any slice of a reason to stay where they're at despite how destructive the behavior and situation is.
Positive thoughts
This is a great thread. There should be more threads dedicated to how to get rid of anxiety long-term.
As for me - I post just to vent, to share, because I don't think people here can reassure me. Reassurance should come from yourself.
But sometimes to spill it out is very helpful, as Fishmanpa said.
It's best, in my opinion, to offer reassurance when needed, but be sure to follow that up by ensuring that the questioner knows that, primarily, their issues most probably stem from anxiety and it is that they must address.
I find it hard to just directly address the anxiety without addressing the initial question. If you don't, you're in danger of giving the poster the impression that you're deliberately ignoring their perceived symptoms as you don't want to upset them. The anxious mind works in such ways.
It's actually a bit of a minefield at times. :wacko:
For me, I would rather seek reassurance here where people understand me, than google which leads only to horror stories.
I never google.
I shouldn't seek reassurance anywhere but it's the nature of the beast.
This is my 'safe place'
No, it never helps long term either way.... It's just nice to know others feel the same.
Speaking personally, I have found that reassurance helps insomuch that if I have symptoms that I worry are due to a relatively uncommon illness, if others post to say they have experienced the same symptoms, then I rationalise that we can't all have the illness, so therefore the symptoms must be caused by something else, namely anxiety or a minor condition.
I agree with you on this..
It's best, in my opinion, to offer reassurance when needed, but be sure to follow that up by ensuring that the questioner knows that, primarily, their issues most probably stem from anxiety and it is that they must address.
I find it hard to just directly address the anxiety without addressing the initial question. If you don't, you're in danger of giving the poster the impression that you're deliberately ignoring their perceived symptoms as you don't want to upset them. The anxious mind works in such ways.
It's actually a bit of a minefield at times. :wacko:
I agree with all this.
I have to admit, reassurance usually helps me feel better. The only downside to coming on the HA section of this forum is reading other posts that may set me off and that has happened quite a few times. So when I don't feel particularly health anxious, I tend to use other parts of the forum more.
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