Why does no one understand me ?

[Savvy_Darling]

*seems long because I spaced between BUT I promise this is a quick read through*

I'm so tired of feeling alone with my anxiety. I feel like it's the end of the world For me right now.

I've been so worried about my headaches I've been getting daily for the past almost week.

Started from hitting my head last Tuesday night..

Then I was excessively worrying about brain bleeding.

A day or 2 later I stared having a sore back of the head when laying down and a headache when I first woke up but went away very quickly as soon as I woke up. Random head pains.

Friday I got a migraine (throbbing temples) which had me so very worried about my brain bleeding.

Since Saturday I've been getting migraines daily. Usually one sided and a throbbing pain.. Pretty textbook migraine I'd say. They come at night or after waking up.

I've been crying at least once daily about this and it feels like it makes the migraine worse.

It's since Saturday night I've been worried about a brain tumor now.

I am so pissed off with myself and I'm miserable and just want to sleep all day because I'm tired of being scared about brain bleeds and brain tumors.

You guys have no idea how much I wish I never bumped my head because I wonder if this all would have even started. I didn't have this anxiety about my head until after knocking it.

I feel easily emotional and I get angry with everyone quick because I'm so unhappy with myself and my fear I'm dying from a brain tumor. Im starting to get back to the dark place of not wanting to do anything except sulk in my own pathetic self pity.

I wish I wasn't so doctor phobic and could go talk about this and prayfully be told I'm fine because I know i wouldn't worry anymore.

Those of you who had your symptoms checked and told your fine yet still are worrying you should feel lucky you were checked out and actually told you were fine. That's all I wish to hear.

My boyfriend doesn't seemed concerned with my headaches and says I'm doing this to myself with stress & worry. He may be right but part of me hates hearing that because how can stress cause this??? And how could he understand ? I feel like he doesn't care but I'm so self consumed with this fear it's causing me such soul sucking unhappiness. I wish he would show more concern because when he just says I'm fine and it's stress I wanna rip my hair out.

I normally don't get migraines until before my period and during it. That's not due until weeks from now. I wills also get a throbbing migraine after getting really upset and crying like say a fight with my boyfriend.
These migraines just feel like they are coming for no reason ! I've been plenty anxious and worried about other symptoms before and I never got migraines like this.

I can't stop thinking about a brain tumor or brain bleeding.. More so the first one now but it was very seriously the 2nd one a few days ago.

I'm a mixture of scared, worried and just seriously exhausted and frustrated.
Yes I googled headaches and read about migraines and that seems like what is going on here but why?! Why now and why never before with all the other anxiety I've had ? That's why I'm so scared. It said some things to worry about would be

A change in headache patterns ( this is a change for me!)

Worsening headaches (mine have been going on for a few days tho! Not sure if they're worse)

Personality changes (I've been miserable and emotional and easily upset)

Tender painful temples (my temples throb hence a migraine I thought??)

Those are a few of the warning signs I associated with and I'm terrified.

Not sure if anyone will have anything to say to me but I wish I could get some replies and some smart rational advice or ANYONE whose has experienced my symptoms.

Ugh please . Don't view without leaving a comment whether it's warm wishes or whatever I really need to snap outta this . God is it really a tumor ? A bleed? What's happening to me ! :weep::mad:

And why do I have to be so scared of doctors! I hate this.

[emmalj0]

I was worrying last week I had a strong head kept waking up with headache one side pain around my eye pressure on temple. Went after about four days. Try not to worry try and relax. Take some ibuprofen see if that helps. A headache due to bleeding or tumour is so painful nothing takes pain away and u can't stand the pain, my auntie had brain bleed.

[Savvy_Darling]

Emmalj0 - oh I appreciate your reply so much. I'm so sorry about your auntie! I did take some ibuprofen and seems to have helped the throbbing at least :( still feeling anxious and achey and pressure though and over sensitive about any head pain or ache or discomfort. Pretty maddening. I hope mine goes away sooo bad :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

The clues are in all there, Savanna. A bit of ibuprofen wouldn't be taking away the pain from something serious and given the pressure build up from a bleed I would imagine it would be very painful.

Like you said before, you've been using your phone in hunched up positions, there was the cool Monster Jam (noise & lights), not always using your glasses (should you be wearing them all the time?), hitting your head and all the excess worry.

There are many threads on here about people banging their heads and they all worried about these things. Each person I've seen has always had mild bangs or even very slight ones. The level of worry was the same though. Some of the incidents I've had myself many times in my life and never cared other than the immediate swearing at what I banged it on and some soreness.

So, what can trigger migraines in you? Can it be the glasses issue? Can it just be increased stress? The trigger was clearly the bang, but what has it triggered - perhaps a stressful episode that has brought on the migraines?

I don't suffer from migraines so hopefully others will know more there. I have suffered many headaches in my life, and many through my anxiety. I had 3 months a coupe of years back where I had headaches most of the day. How peed off was I every day and sick of feeling like crap? A lot. I get some now because of neck spasm issues and with having more aches& pains in my joints, they have peed me off too.

Pain does this to the anxious mind, just as it does it to the non anxious mind. But we can choose whether we add to it.

I'm sure you will be fine.

I think everyone who posts on the HA board will understand you, if not the whole site.

Emma - sorry to hear about your auntie. :hugs:

[Savvy_Darling]

Terry ,

With my glasses I've had them close to 2 years now and have never worn them all the time only when watching tv really and I've never had this migraine issue.
The ibuprofen sometimes eases the throbbing but doesn't make everything go away like tension and random pains that just come and go.
Oh and another thing I wonder is with all the other things I've worried about before and spent hours in similar positions I never got the migraines and head pains.. I usually got shoulder tension and pain.
Which brings the worry that all this mess started after hitting my head.. Did I cause some type of damage up there? I know other people have hit there head with no other serious side effects but I guess it would be my awful luck wouldn't it? These are just new feelings and they scare me. I just don't know how anxiety could cause all this head aches pains migraines and weird feelings. Which begs the question if wether it's anxiety or something I caused from hitting my head.. and I hate to say it but the brain tumor. I'm not even sure what the statistics are on that or if it's rare because if I look it up it'll make things worse. Even though it's already pretty bad. I appreciate your help as always terry. Things just seem too coincidental for my comfort.

[emmalj0]

My aunties fine this was years ago but her head literally felt like was being hit with a spade pain was severe nothing helped with the pain. This is why I know if medication is easing pain it's nothing bad

[Savvy_Darling]

Oh that's great she is okay!! I really don't know if ibuprofen makes me feel like it makes me feel no pain because I still do . I guess my pain isn't as severe as that because I probably wouldn't be able to type if it was that bad but I do appreciate youre personal knowledge about it for sure. I also think I should have already known if it was a brain bleed because it's been 6 days since hitting my head. Don't know what else hitting your head can cause . Rather not At the moment anyways. About the brain tumor though. As silly as it may seem to others it's definitely a fathomable fear to me at the moment . Might I be just assuming any bad thing that can happen to your head because of anxiety? Yea perhaps but what else could cause these very real symptoms that's I'm not use to is definitely a worrisome thing to me. I keep trying to tell myself I'm going to be okay but I really don't know if I am /:

[MyNameIsTerry]

I see Gary A is reading your thread and he is the master of knowledge on all things like this so expect some detailed posting shortly.

This is the thing, coincidence. Coincidence affects a lot of us but in different ways. HA people worry as you do that the band on the head has set in motion something that could lead to a tumor, something which is a cancerous abnormal growth of cells. People on the OCD board are worrying that the fact they turned over to a channel to find the subject of their fear means something more than mere coincidence.

Like Debs said to that other person, you would be pretty ill by now and not typing on here with a bleed. I can see where you are going with the tumour when you talk about personality changes. But you are explaining how you feel and what you are saying could be attributed to any level of mental distress across many mental health disorders or even just anyone without any mental health issues who is going through an emotional difficult time.

Brain tumours are rare. Can you imagine how rare it would be from that light bang on the head you had? This is what our NHS say:

The exact reason why some people develop primary brain tumours is unknown, but it's thought that certain genetic conditions – such as neurofibromatosis type 1 and tuberous sclerosis – and previous radiotherapy to the head increase your risk.

So, no mention of trauma being a trigger there.

They also state that the headaches would be severe. Do you think a low dose of ibuprofen would take the edge of something so painful? Wouldn't you need strong pain killers to even touch the level of pain?

Also, you are thinking tumour because of the headaches but brain tumours occur without headaches (about half I think) too so given your other assessed symptoms, couldn't we argue that a brain tumour was a risk for many of us? But it's not because we know that these symptoms cross over into so many other forms or physical trauma, illness, mental health issue, etc.

If you caused damage from a bang to the head it would be presenting itself in ways that would have you under a doctor. It would be a serious bang to the head to cause something like that.

---------- Post added at 09:08 ---------- Previous post was at 09:02 ----------


I guess my pain isn't as severe as that because I probably wouldn't be able to type if it was that bad

When my neck was in spasm, it's happened 3 times in 2 weeks, on one occasions I was struggling to type and had to keep stopping. I couldn't keep my eyes open as it was making me screw them up. But that is nothing compared to what Emma's auntie would have felt.

So, if I was struggling to type with that, if you can type ok, doesn't that mean it can't be something severe?

I've always been told that not wearing glasses for short sight just makes them worse. I take them off for some activities and I can tell it makes me strain more. That strain will make things like headaches more likely. So, perhaps it could be argued that you still have some headaches from before and things like this have added to it to keep it going longer?

[Savvy_Darling]

I take 800mg of ibuprofen that's all we have which I think is pretty strong and I've taken one everyday for the past couple of days which I hate because I don't like taking pills. Do I feel like it got rid of the throbbing ? Yea. Did it get rid of everything? No/:
I hate coincidence I'm a superstitious person to begin with and I've often wondered if the commercials that come on coincidentally similar to fears I'm having are a bad omen. As well if my cats are being too nice to me and laying with me that they know something I don't because I had read that animals can sense illness. Like dogs can sense cancers and illness so when the dogs being particularly friendly to me I question if she also knows something I don't. Crazy? Yea for sure. But who knows. It's when my anxiety is bad I get like this.

I appreciate the bit from your NHS site btw.
For sure trying to stay thinking this is anxiety but this is hard /:
I took that ibuprofen 3 hours ago and I'm feeling the pressure head ache again slight throbbing when I got up. :(
And if Gary A decides to bless us with his knowledge then of course it's welcome.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I can understand that with pets, it's confusing now we are hearing about dogs doing that. However, I suspect a dog has to be trained to spot something. It's amazing that they can though. My dog is attentive and likes a lot of fusses but really it's part of reassurance for him, being part of the family unit, etc. Sometimes he goes mad licking my face but it's when we are playing a game and he is excited or because he has tasted afterbalm on my face which he seems to love!

You can find all sorts of messages in the media if you are on high alert. There are threads about this on the OCD board where people are anxious about whether they are getting messages. One of them was a HA person worried about specific cancers and seeing all sorts of keywords. There are legitimate explanations in psychology for all this. Prior to being an anxious person you would have shrugged them off as "that was weird" and have a laugh. But to the anxious mind these are events to be questioned, analysed and a risk assessment performed.

[Dharmatown]

I'm sorry to hear you are still feeling so rough. I know it can't be easy.

I don't know if you remember, but I was in the original head banging thread, but then left for a while as I could feel my anxiety rising and sometimes I don't know if this site is always helpful for me.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, I know what it's like and if you ever need to talk I or others are here. I have had brain tumor fears in the past and was told that if it was a brain tumor you would start to have symptoms that you simply can't ignore - seizures etc. So given that yours have only been for a week or so AND you've been pretty anxious during that time, it looks like you can probably put it down to your anxiety.

Also, I don't know if this will help, but it helped me to hear from others stories. Back in Jan I had a BIG fear of DVT or a blood clot. I live overseas, so I didn't want to burden my fairly new friends with my fears or have them think I am really weird. I ended up going to A&E I was so terrified and that was a big step in deciding to get some help. I was already on a low dose of medication for a month or so, but xmas was VERY stressful making my anxiety flare up, but I wanted to couple it with CBT. Honestly I think it was the best decision I have made.

Going back to the head thing last week, I am almost glad it happened because it was a chance for me to put some of the strategies I learnt at my talking therapy in to practice and prove to myself that I can have these thoughts, but deal with them myself and not have an overwhelming urge to see a doctor or go to the hospital. It may not work for you and I know you say the doctors is difficult for you, but maybe looking in to online CBT or other self help resources might help you.

Sorry if that is super rambly, but hope it helped in some way!

[Phuzella]

I understand you Savvy :). I've had all the anxiety stuff you're having on and off over the years and I'm still alive and kicking lol. At the min I'm just having a little sit down after a migraine zigzag aura :(.
If the head bump had caused anything major, you wouldn't be on here honestly.
Try to get out for a walk or something take your mind off it :)

[Savvy_Darling]

Dharmatown, I'm so happy for you that you have learned good coping strategies to help with your anxiety! This is good news.
& yes I do remember you from my 1st thread lol and yes I agree sometimes I feel like I should take a break because sometimes this site can cause some trigger anxiety. But anyways, thanks for your reply & im glad there are people who understand! It sucks to not know anyone personally who has anxiety like myself.
Indeed my symptoms have only been around for close to a week , I have read other people's threads with symptoms lasting month or more and I really don't know what I would do . I'm already an anxious mess for the time I've had mine!
Anyways.. I hope this goes away by the end of this week.. I'm prayin for it.

Phuzella, aw thanks for relating , again always good to know I'm not alone. What I keep trying to tell myself is since the brain bleed worry didn't hold up my anxiety went to the next thing being a brain tumor so now that fear has taken over and I just want the headaches to go away so this fear will go away too /:

[nirvanainchains]

In my opinion, it starts with you. Understand yourself first. You should take small steps in understanding that you have anxiety. See if you have done something for yourself.

[Savvy_Darling]

I mean I understand I have anxiety and I know from past times that I can be over dramatic and blowing things out of proportion and have a very wild imagination-- these things I know.
But I don't understand how anxiety can cause these head pains that can be shooting and random and come and go.. Ever since the head knock it seems all these head pains and aches have come out of nowhere. Never felt these things. As of right now I seem okay except for the occasional shooting head pain. I took a shower and went for a walk with my boyfriend so I got out a little. I do keep trying to stay rational as well and think that if this is a tumor would the symptoms come and go? I heard not. The fear is still here but I'm trying to get through it. This thread was started to get people to tell me they've felt this before and have been fine or that my symptoms don't sound sinister. I guess yes I was seeking reassurance , I could really use it and it would make me feel a lil better.

[Traceypo]

I've had the shooting pains too hun, (without a blow to the head), I returned to work recently after 4 months away due to my anxiety. When I went back, my stress levels rose and I started with the pains, no specific point or side but they'd come from no where, give me a shock, then be gone. Once I settled back at work after a few weeks, they disappeared.
In answer to your question, the rational will understand the rational, the irrational will truly understand the irrational. I understand your thread fully, I can empathise, I can fully put myself in your shoes as let's be honest, most on here have those thought patterns.
If I were to show this to my partner, he wouldn't get it at all.
Hope you're feeling better.
Xxx

[Savvy_Darling]

Aww Tracey thankyou! Such kind words <3

its still so crazy to me that stress and anxiety can really manifest such scary symptoms. It's like when you're anxious about something all of a sudden symptoms come. Guess that must prove how powerful mind&body are. I'm totally over this head anxiety and trying to do better so I hope the symptoms start to fade like yours! Then I will be able to sigh some relief about these worries.

[nirvanainchains]

I mean I understand I have anxiety and I know from past times that I can be over dramatic and blowing things out of proportion and have a very wild imagination-- these things I know.
But I don't understand how anxiety can cause these head pains that can be shooting and random and come and go.. Ever since the head knock it seems all these head pains and aches have come out of nowhere. Never felt these things. As of right now I seem okay except for the occasional shooting head pain. I took a shower and went for a walk with my boyfriend so I got out a little. I do keep trying to stay rational as well and think that if this is a tumor would the symptoms come and go? I heard not. The fear is still here but I'm trying to get through it. This thread was started to get people to tell me they've felt this before and have been fine or that my symptoms don't sound sinister. I guess yes I was seeking reassurance , I could really use it and it would make me feel a lil better.

Right now, I am having a hell of a headache in my right temple, more of a dull ache, like migraine. I don't know if this is migraine or something more but I am not jumping into things yet, I have endured a vast number of body pains since 2014 so I’ll observe if this goes away for a couple of days, and I hope it will. Anxiety is real mess.

[Savvy_Darling]

My experience with migraines is that they are throbbing type and mine are always at the temples. If you feel like it's throbbing then it's probably a migraine. But good for you for not quickly jumping into crazy thoughts! You seem to be getting better! Good for you ! Yup anxiety is quite the b*tch! :p

[shirlp]

Savvy. I've been having strange head sensations for over a month now. Stabbing pains burning feeling etc.. I didn't bang my head though.. This is causing me huge anxiety to the point where I don't want to leave my house at all.. I did have a sinus infection at the beginning which has cleared up now, but I'm still struggling with this weird head.. I have an eye test booked for Friday so will see how that goes, then bk to drs on the 3rd of March.. To discuss headache and anxiety. Doesn't help getting anxious over it, but we can't help it. Xx