Major anxiety over child's health

[Bigbadmouse]

Hi all, sorry about not posting a proper introduction. I'm just hoping that someone can relate to what I'm going through. About three weeks ago my son became ill - pale, tired, clingy, complaining of all sorts of aches & pains and telling me he loved me about 100 times a day. For some reason, this last 'symptom' in particular convinced me that he had cancer. And this terror will now not leave me. I took him to the Drs 4 times, all of whom explained he had a virus. And then I got the virus myself and it was very flu-like which explains why he struggled so much. But I am still going out of my mind with worry. He is much much better than he was, but still sometimes seems a bit under the weather and I live from one minute to the next in absolute terror that he's going to tell me he feels cold/tired/ unwell or that some new symptom is about to materialise. I am not sleeping or eating and I am so on edge all the time.
I have no idea why this is happening. I lost me dad to cancer 2 years ago and have definitely not started to grieve yet - but both my children have been ill at other times and I haven't lost it like this.
I feel scared that I am having a delayed mental breakdown, but my deepest fear is that my fears ARE founded and that this is maternal instinct telling me something is wrong!
How can I tell if this is anxiety or something more? I have experienced anxiety in the past (I haven't labelled it before, but I can now see that's what it was - although it was nothing compared to this.
Any help or advice greatly appreciated. It is truly awful feeling this way.....

[RoseEve]

Did they do a blood test?

[bethel777]

What you are feeling is totally normal. I always hang onto the phrase "having children, is having your heart walking around outside your body." You'll worry about them more than anything else.
What you described sounds like a classic virus and he's still recovering. Especially since you got it yourself and know how bad it felt.
Plus- he might be copying your behavior a bit if you vocally worry about your own symptoms. I have to be careful of this as my daughter will sometimes tell me she doesn't feel well or her stomach hurts when really she's fine, she's just copying me.

[worriedchica]

I can relate to your problems :( My daughter born a normal baby, everything was fine, but for some reason I started to notice that she had a bluish skin tone around her mouth (below the nose). Now, at first, I just told myself that as always I'm panicking. But I also got that feeling that my maternal instincts were telling me something. Long story short and a couple of months of serious depression and anxiety about it, and long waits at different specialists, I can tell you that the maternal instinct isn't always right. I went from thinking she had a serious heart defect (blue tone indicator) to just hating myself for worrying so much. Try not to "pick up" on certain "signs, signals" they are just made up by your mind to rationalize the anxiety.

[Bigbadmouse]

Thanks so much guys - it does help to know I'm not alone. I don't know why this is happening but I 'think' I'm realising that I am being irrational. I did get a blood test, yes (at my insistence, not because anyone else thought it necessary) and typically this has not helped at all - came back with a borderline low neutrophil count (not surprising after the virus) so now I have to worry about the follow up test in a few weeks. Why do I do it to myself?
And yes, having children seems to unlock the door to a whole new dimension of worry and anxiety. Right now I cannot imagine how I'm going to get through the next 18 years!

[Allochka]

You've just described me! I worry crazy about my 9 month old daughter, latest scare is tuberous sclerosis ( a terrible, terrible thing).
Well, maternal instincts sometimes could be right, but NOT in a person with health anxiety. In us, it is not instinct talking, but anxiety , and it is always lying.
During my daughters first 9 months, I was convinced she had CP, microcephaly ( I read measurements on measuring tape wrongly :-)), tethered cord, CP again, smth else. Each time I was convinced, spent days in misery. But she is fine concerning all those things. I wish I could just shake off my latest scare...
From what you've described it looks like health anxiety is just starting in you. You should delete it right now, until it gets too crazy and ruins your life. Your boy is OK, but your beginning of HA should be taken care of, I guess.
Good luck! We love our children so much, that is we worry...