Jinaiya
17-02-16, 22:38
Feeling a little lonely and isolated so I thought I'd type instead of replay the dreaded fears over and over.
I've posted a few times now, but just to reintroduce myself, I'm a 32 year old new mom who has been suffering greatly for 3 months. To admit: I have suffered from HA on and off since I immigrated to the US from Canada 5 years ago, but normally my fears are heart related because my heart always pounds when I'm anxious. Not this time - and that makes me even more convinced that I really am sick this time.
I am pretty sure I'm looking at an acoustic neuroma, since I have all of the symptoms and the symptoms do not get better. I guess I often wonder how a "normal person" would be coping if they had vertigo, tinnitus, right sided headaches, head pressure, right ear popping, and fullness in right ear nearly all day long upon waking for 3 months straight? Would they be "cool" with it?
When the headaches began, I did manage my symptoms just fine for the first month. Being a new mom, I wrote it off as hormones, potentially stress. I may have had a few fleeting fears of tumour which passed quickly and I went about my business. Once new symptoms cropped up though, and the head pains persisted, I did begin to worry. The doctors say I'm fine but I still worry, after all, these things get missed all of the time in normal people who are NOT overly freaked out.
I guess I'm just throwing the question out there because I feel like even if I were "a normal person", this is scary stuff... However, unlike the general population, I guess what sets me apart is that I DO obsess over this. It is literally ALL I think about all day long, which is very distressing, especially when I should be happy and positive with my new baby girl. These are very intrusive thoughts, images and "day dreams", all about tumours and me dying. Even if I keep busy, it's in the back of my head and I'm constantly checking in with my physical symptoms to see if they are still present. If I wake at 3am, it is the first thing I notice (usually my ringing ears), and then my head hurting or my vertigo when I get use to use the restroom.
Sometimes I feel like the emotional distress is worse than the tumour itself. I imagine that would not be the case for the average person.
I just hope it gets figured out soon so I can get on with it. This is miserable, but its near impossible for me to "get over it" or stop thinking about it when the pains and pressure are there. I can't even walk across the room without feeling like I'm on a boat.
Thank you for reading. If you are suffering with the obsessive thoughts too, I wish you hope in getting past it soon. :hugs:
- Kristina
I've posted a few times now, but just to reintroduce myself, I'm a 32 year old new mom who has been suffering greatly for 3 months. To admit: I have suffered from HA on and off since I immigrated to the US from Canada 5 years ago, but normally my fears are heart related because my heart always pounds when I'm anxious. Not this time - and that makes me even more convinced that I really am sick this time.
I am pretty sure I'm looking at an acoustic neuroma, since I have all of the symptoms and the symptoms do not get better. I guess I often wonder how a "normal person" would be coping if they had vertigo, tinnitus, right sided headaches, head pressure, right ear popping, and fullness in right ear nearly all day long upon waking for 3 months straight? Would they be "cool" with it?
When the headaches began, I did manage my symptoms just fine for the first month. Being a new mom, I wrote it off as hormones, potentially stress. I may have had a few fleeting fears of tumour which passed quickly and I went about my business. Once new symptoms cropped up though, and the head pains persisted, I did begin to worry. The doctors say I'm fine but I still worry, after all, these things get missed all of the time in normal people who are NOT overly freaked out.
I guess I'm just throwing the question out there because I feel like even if I were "a normal person", this is scary stuff... However, unlike the general population, I guess what sets me apart is that I DO obsess over this. It is literally ALL I think about all day long, which is very distressing, especially when I should be happy and positive with my new baby girl. These are very intrusive thoughts, images and "day dreams", all about tumours and me dying. Even if I keep busy, it's in the back of my head and I'm constantly checking in with my physical symptoms to see if they are still present. If I wake at 3am, it is the first thing I notice (usually my ringing ears), and then my head hurting or my vertigo when I get use to use the restroom.
Sometimes I feel like the emotional distress is worse than the tumour itself. I imagine that would not be the case for the average person.
I just hope it gets figured out soon so I can get on with it. This is miserable, but its near impossible for me to "get over it" or stop thinking about it when the pains and pressure are there. I can't even walk across the room without feeling like I'm on a boat.
Thank you for reading. If you are suffering with the obsessive thoughts too, I wish you hope in getting past it soon. :hugs:
- Kristina