Why did I do it?

[mrs sunshine]

Hiya

Apologies as I am just going to have a little rant at myself. Despite the fact that I know I shouldn't I have been searching on the internet for some reassurance, the worse thing I could have done possible, I did. I almost became glued to the computer and couldn't pull away as I kept looking for that elusive "you are absolutely fine". How come you never find websites that say no need to worry about that one?!.

I didn't find anything reassuring at all quite the oppositte and now I know far to much about diseases I don't need to know about to add to my repertoire. I am now in a complete high anxiety state and really angry at myself for wasting my time and getting myself worked up. Why did I do it? Its not as if I haven't been here before too many times and said the same to myself. Why don't I believe my doctor when he says its perfectly normal?. Instead I think I know better somehow. So tired of going round in circles and when I feel like I'm actually getting on top of all this it scares me how qucikly I can slide back to square one.

Rant at myself over!

S

[lass]

I think we've all been there. My head is full of information on symptoms and diagnosis on all kinds of things. Lol, I could write a book! This information just feeds my anxiety when I get a minor symptom and I wish I could turn back time and never have read it in the first place.

It's hard to put 100% trust in doctors, as they are only human and the media is full of stories of when they get things wrong. But I guess we need to learn to trust their judgement; and I'm sure if Google was in any way accurate, the doctors wouldn't need to spend years and years studying!!!

Instead of trying to prove (in your mind) that you doctor is wrong, try to focus on all the positive points that would make him right. This might help a bit. (I'm trying very hard to do this myself right now!). Is there anything you can do to get more accurate info on the symptoms you are concerned about? Can you go back to your doctor and ask for info? Are these anxiety symptoms or something else you are worried about?

Don't beat yourself up though, I think we've all done it!

[Becki]

Hi

I've just read your posting and have to admit it did make me chuckle, as it so reminds me of myself. Internet browsing is the worst possible thing to do but like you I have days when I can't resist and I have to google and like you once this starts I get glued to the PC and can't move away reading all sorts of stuff that makes me feel 10 times worse and by the time I've finished not only have I definatley got what I thought I had but also a number of other things that I didn't even know about until I went on line.

It is sooooo annoying that you can't stop yourself doing it and like you I get so angry with myself afterwards, its like a kind of sadist addiction for torturing yourself.

I like you also never beleive what the doctor tells me. Why I think that me with my few hours of internet browsing have more knowledge than my doctors who has been practising for about 20 years, I don't know!!!!

I always think I know best which obviously I don't!!! as so far I'm still here, whereas based on my own personal diagnosis I would have been long gone.

I'm affraid I don't know the answer to stop yourself doing it (other than will power, which I have none). If you find out let me know.

Take care

Becki

[skylight2007]

Hiya there Mrs Sunshine, such a lovely name!!!!!! So why did you do it? you were just looking for reasurrance like you said, your trying to find an answer, you want to understand whats wrong with you, your looking for a label to match your symtoms perhaps.
Many people who suffer from anxiety symptoms, often find it very differcult to believe what doctors tell them, we tell ourself how is it possible to feel so many symptons from anxiety, there has to be something else wrong with us. Mrs sunshine, to understand anxiety for most of us is very hard and we search and look for answers that may give us some kind of label to match our symptons.
Severe anxiety based on worries can cloud our perceptions undertandably so by making us believe there is something worse wrong with us. This is not the case for many of us its just believing is hard!!!!!

In a day we can spend hours just wondering about this and that, sometimes just hearing the stories of others and thier anxieties, we may feel that this is happening to us.
When we search for answers we may tell ourself, oh this is me, I have that, I have this, this is just over identifying thinking we have what others have, yes we have similar illnessess and symptons, some symptoms for example, like having a panic attack, pains in chest, tightness in the throat, we may believe we are having a heart attack, only be told its not!!!!!!!!!!!!! so this is a good example of how severe anxiety can make us feel as if something else is wrong with us!!!!
I do understand your concerns very much, and your aware that searching isnt really helping you but only escalates your anxieties.
So what can you do, that you havent already tried? it is very differcult to motivate ourselves when were feeling down, paying toooooooo much attention to the negative feelings and not replacing those thoughts with something positive is not healthy as you know.
What you could do, is read positive stories, things that uplift your mood because the more we concentrate on the good things, the more we build our confidence and feel valuable... the process is slow, but I believe its a way of challenging your negative thoughts towards getting better and feeling better. I hope this helps. take care.

skylight

[Piglet]

No one is immune from the effects of too much information.

I remember years ago a doctor telling me that when doctors are training they go through loads of stress imagining they have the conditions they are studying. So even they do it!!!

Personally I only google for important things like what shade of lipstick is in!!:D

Love Piglet xx

[mrs sunshine]

Thanks for all your words and advice - it really helps to know that people understand what you are going through. This anxiety thing can be a lonely business.

I am going to try really hard not to search anymore as I can't keep doing this to myself. It has never done me any good nor given me anything that has helped calm me down.

S