Toxic Friend

[claire_2910]

Hi everyone,

I need some advice.

I have a toxic friend. By this, I mean she is unhealthy for my progression. Her energy is very negative, when i have spent time with her i feel like i have to have a lie down afterwards - mentally draining. She has very selfish ways and is not a 'true' friend.

Here is my problem.

I created a social group to meet new people on Meetup - she is a member too. Although there are lots of group members there can be a minimum of 8 people in the group. Before I started the group I only knew her so we would go together, but I still don't know many people in the group.

I know the only way I relieve the anxiety i get around her is if i removed her from the group of course this sounds easy, but i am not the sort of person to cause an argument. If I were to talk to her it would cause an issue, she's very dramatic. I have tried mingling more with other people in the group and tried to message her back less, but she still feels we are friends and tbh i just want to have no association.

HELP

[Oosh]

I have exactly the same sort of "friend" at work. I gave up on him yesterday and although I'll not cause a drama and will make out everything is ok, I'm not going to bother with him anymore. He reeks of being two faced and is so changeable, funny and moody (RRRRRRRRUUUUUUDDEEEEEE) I've just found myself wondering why I'm bothering to be polite and friendly to him.
I actually like him a lot when he's nice but I'm sick of being unpleasantly surprise by the other sides of him too.
Well yesterday instead of hanging around to chat to him I went off and did something else. My point - some people aren't worth the grief. This person sounds like they're making you unhappy, that's not worth keeping around.
You sound like you hate drama, I hate drama, but there comes a point when enough is enough and we need to take away the privilege we gave them in being our friends.

I prefer to be frank when possible. You can end up with more drama sometimes when NOT just coming out and saying what you feel/mean.
Be frank and honest but respectful and sensitive ?
Put it in an email ?
Create distance as a hint ?

I'd sooner not have these problems too. I think you'll feel better if it wasn't a part of your day anymore. He won't be part of mine !