Driving anxiety, sports team, can't get past this hurdle, so frustrated

[MetalYeti]

Well I nearly made it out of the house to practice tonight, so very nearly. I got further than i have done other times in that I got changed and packed up my kit, but as soon as it was time to leave and I went to grab my car keys I just froze. Again. I'm so frustrated and beating myself up, I just can't seem to get past this thing and I don't know why. I have to drive further than this to work, albeit in the opposite direction, I know i can do it as i've driven it in the daylight but there has always been someone with me. As soon as i visualise myself doing the drive in the dark on my own my whole body just goes "nope". I could just cry (well, I have!) This is really important to me, I want to be able to do this but it's been 6 months and i still can't even make it into the car to go to practice if i'm on my own. I know it doesn't help that i pile uneccesary pressure on myself cos my anxious brain believes that everytime i miss practice all my team mates will hate me and lose any respect for me. I'm pretty sure that's not true but that's what my brain has decided. Every time I fail again it just makes me wonder why i'm doing this to myself and think maybe i should quit, but i can't seem to let the sport go either as it's so much a part of my identity. When i can do it, it makes me feel stronger, but i'm not sure how much that balances out what a weak failure it's making me feel right now. Just....blurgh!

[Oosh]

Bit daunting to do the whole thing straight away. Maybe try and go to the next step, go out and sit in the car and turn it on. Stay there until you relax ! However long that takes. Take things that relax you and get comfortable.

Next time try driving down your road and back. If possible park at the end for a bit before you come back and check your phone out or something until you relax.

For me, the object would be to see what the reality of driving in those circumstances is as opposed to how you're imagining it. After a while, when you're relaxed drive back.

Hopefully as you experience how it REALLY is your fear of it will drop and your confidence will come back meaning you can drive a bit further on the next occasion.

[MetalYeti]

Very good advice :) This time i flapped around so much that i didn't leave myself enough time to do anything sensible like that, by the time i'd got all my stuff together i'd left it too late to leave anyway, which didn't help! Next time i need to hustle and get everything ready before i even start to flap about whether i'm going or not. That should leave me enough time to do the things you suggested. Thanks so much for the advice, must remember, break it down into chunks... one step at a time. Xxx