Recovery - too good to be true?

[LilGsMama]

My recent HA started back at the beginning of December and for 6-8 weeks I went through hell.. Convinced myself that I had some kind of nasal/throat/ear cancer from the random symptoms that I had. We've all been through a horrible time because of my anxiety.

I joined this site at the end of Jan and have found much comfort on here. I slowly picked up and started to feel human again. For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling almost reborn and right up until this afternoon, in fact.

I went for a shower earlier and noticed a tiny mark on my boob, and immediately thought of something I read a few weeks ago. Although I'm not overly worrying about it, my mood has gone right down and the lovely enthusiasm and happiness that I've been rediscovering and really enjoying is starting to feel like it won't return! I know I can't be "up" all of the time but it is so disappointing and my fears of returning to the dark place are rearing their ugly head.

Has anyone else had any similar experience with recovery? All advice greatly appreciated, I do feel very deflated!!

:unsure::unsure:

[mgw]

Hey,

I've had HA/OCD/GAD etc for majority of my life, manifesting about 5(?) years ago, and becoming serverely deibilitating.
I've been on sert for 2 years and the improvement for me is amazing, finally feel like me, reborn like you said.

However, with that in mind, I do still have certain days/times where something will happen and it will trigger the same style of thinking. Difference is, this doesn't last for the days, months, years like it used to. I think with any sort of recovery the hardest part is being afraid that the "old you" will return. I still get scared that the "old me" is coming back and eradicating all the progress I've made.

But that's not the case. 2 years down and its not happened. Slight blips but still happy and here in a good place. Recovery isn't always a linear progress, for me I see it more like stairs, if you understand what I mean! A slight blip is normal and expected, for me it would be weird if someone didn't experience them. Just don't let it bring you down and convince yourself the worst is returning.

Hope this helps in some way. xx

[LilGsMama]

Thanks mgw.. it really does help when I hear it from others, as my own reasoning tends to rattle around unabsorbed in my head!

I've had spells of anxiety/depression for 25 years on and off.. 4 really bad cases, the most recent one being the 4th! I've gotten pretty used to the ups and downs and have a lot of insight into my issues (according to various GPs), however when the downs come after a period of "wellness" they knock me off my feet somewhat.

I've been enjoying my new good feelings but I worry that its too much, too soon. I've had my meds upped this period, and I'm now on 15mg of Cipralex, which I'm happy with at the moment.

Blips suck! xxx

[LilGsMama]

Massive setback - spent the night having anxiety attacks and barely slept.. cried most of the morning and then got sent home from work 5 mins after I arrived.

No idea whats happening, focusing on symptoms again. Can anyone advise please?
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