View Full Version : Having a really bad day - just need support
So, I haven't been like this for a very long time.
I've started my own business and I'm a single Mum of a darling 4 year old girl that doesn't stop.
Over the past couple of months my HA has been awful.
I've been convinced that I'm living with cancer and the Dr's just haven't found it, by the time they find it it will be too late. Imagine that - living like that?
Why do we do it?
Now I'm exhausted, I can hardly stand up - my eyes are burning from all the crying, my head constantly has those weird head spins we all get, I had an awful panic attack yesterday where I felt like I was about to have a seizure.
I just want to close my eyes and sleep but I can't as i have too work.
My body feels weak, I feel like I'm floating not walking. I swear that all these symptoms are because there is something urgently wrong with me - can anyone relate?
I haven't been this bad since before I had my child and i can't be like this now as I have a child. I just want to shake myself and tell myself I'm ok. What do I do?
Give in and sleep for today or shake myself and tell myself to get over it?
I've got prozac but I'm too scared to take it - the side effects sound awful and I can't afford to get worse before it gets better, I'm awful now.
I'm not depressed but I wonder if I am and I just don't realise?
The physical symptoms are the worst part for me - the internal head shaking, the tired eyes, the sore, tired body, the floating not walking, not breathing properly, thinking every little thing points to something bad on my body - (or all point to cancer) but then, if you tell yourself long enough you have something wrong with you wont you GET something!? Am I encouraging tumours in my body because of my attitude?
Is it too late already!
My head wont stop like this ... please help.... love your support I'm falling to pieces.
Bless you tan335.. It's horrible feeling this way and I'm sorry that you are suffering so badly.. I'm the same, wondering what undetected illness is lurking in my body constantly. I've just had a good couple of weeks and I'm now having a relapse, same old feelings, same old fears.
Can't offer any solutions but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone xxxxxxxx
:hugs:
Thanks so much LittleGsMama... it's awful isn't it - just sitting here crying my little heart out - trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
I just don't get it.
Hi Tan, I can so relate with this post. I always say those of us who are aware of our anxiety are already taking control. Mine fluctuates. I'm like 'fck you anxiery, I'm happy. What was even worried about lols' and then one day I'll find something wrong. A spot. A bump. A twinge. And BAM!
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Plus I had s cry the other day having worry about my a rash I have. We rush to the worst it can be.
Yeah I have a small lump on my leg I keep picking at trying to figure out why it wont heal... duh!! I'm just so exhausted from all this thinking!
I'm currently worrying about brain tumor, leukemia and lupus! I'm on this board so much lately it's like my fix when I'm feeling crazy. I know people here feel the same, have felt the same and were all just brutally honest with each other.
Ha I have a bruise below my knee and I was poking it then wondering why it was hurting :/ haha.
It's an ingrown hair....
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haha yeah I can so relate. I bruised my stomach the other day - walked into the corner of my bed, spent the last 3 days wondering if i was bleeding internally, checking my pulse, my poop for blood, my urine for blood, when I coughed I'd look to see if there was blood... wow no wonder I'm falling apart. I'm on to brain tumour now with my symptoms from today - tired ... etc...
tan235, do you have anyone that could look after your little girl for a while? ? And yes give in and sleep when you need to! A new business and a 4 year old is enough to tire anyone out :)
I got pissed off with my boyfriend for arranging to meet an ex and I worried this meant I had mood swings/personality changes and therefore a brain Tumor or any other illness...
The best way to get past it is to use this site snd talking to others. I drive my family mad. My boyfriend pointed out to me that it's almost been a year :/
Most people would get pissed off overt that Reb90. And mood swings as a sign of a brain tumour?? Mood swings are very common ,brain tumours are not. Simple :)
But tan know you're not alone ��
ha ha ... Reb90 that made me laugh - man if mood swings were a symptom of brain tumour then we are all screwed!!! ;) But seriously see - who else would link that to that - but a HA sufferer.
I have given in - I'm in bed watching Psych, about to eat some chicken, feeling better, but my eyes are so tired they can hardly stay open .... it's ridiculous you can feel this bad due to mental anguish.... love all your support thank you.
Ha I know right! Like I cried the other day because I got a job rejection for a role I wanted (turns out old colleague gave bad reference for no reason!) this is a human reaction but I worried :P
Rest and self love i think help us! Get a good nights sleep. Take care :) x
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Chicken is the food of the soul ;)
Thanks Reb - would be great to have an anxiety group to meet with in real life - I think I might find that too - would be great to just meet some of you guys for a coffee!!
It would definitely! I used to have a friend (who cut contact with me for no reason, cheers like) who had the same thing. In fact I think she had it first and we would laugh about how silly we sounded with our worries. Since then I've not really had anyone to under stand!
Yeah it's hard for people to understand - as we are so super sensitive, when I first developed anxiety if I were in a room and the lights dimmed I would sense it and assume it was me blacking out. Same in the movie theatre, when the lights started to go dim it caused me to have a panic attack as I thought it was my own vision... try explaining that sensitivity to someone!
;)
Sometimes I laugh out loud when I talk to someone; I'm worried about this ....
And I realise how silly it actually is. I'm staying with my mom and she has a bad leg (she isn't elderly just torn tendon) but my leg is now aching too haha. I'm off to kip so goodnight, been good chatting :)
I'm right there with you. The physical symptoms are what makes it hard to believe that it's anxiety but I'm learning that it could be. With our HA, we are so fixated and in tune to our body we feel every little thing... Even stuff we had before and never felt!
Best wishes and I'm in the same boat as you...
Thanks It'sNick, yeah it's crazy isn't it, the physical symptoms are so real - and they are real... but the thing that gets me is how they don't actually mean anything other than anxiety!
I'm new to this and have only been to the doctors 3 times(2 to the ER) and the physical symptoms are what's making it so hard to believe it's anxiety. I've had bloodwork and a chest x-ray thus far and everything was normal. I'm 28. This sucks!
Nick and Tan, you're not alone.
My HA has been on and off for the past 8 years. I'm still surviving. There are days or months that I get so fixated over little symptoms that I can't concentrate on my job properly.
Hang in there.
Tell me about it ... why do we get so fixated Itchyone?!
Hi Tan235,
just read your post. Believe me this is a classic reaction to being totally stressed out. I have been through it. Everything symptom you wrote about I could relate to. You are fine physically. And you will get through this. you are carrying a heavy load...single working mom says it all. Hang in there. Your daughter is lucky to have such a great mom. And Happy Mothers Day!
N.
Thanks Reb - would be great to have an anxiety group to meet with in real life - I think I might find that too - would be great to just meet some of you guys for a coffee!!
Hi
I live in Canada and I attend a mood disorder group once a week and it is great.
I wish there was one every day like AA.
We spend an hour on a topic, and share how our week was and then do 30 min of mindfulness meditation. Then some of us go out for coffee.
There are people there with anxiety, depression, bi polar, personality disorder, schizophrenia and PTSD and OCD. It is so nice to talk with others who understand what it feels like.
Check for such a group in your area through mental health.
If you can't find one maybe you could start one!
Mugs
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