Feeling low and just wanted to reach out

[cerridwen]

Hello all
Feeling just bloody awful at the moment. Sorry for sounding so grim, I just needed to speak to people who understand. Knocking some sense in to my noggin would be appreciated!

I have some problems with my neck and shoulder, had problems on and off for over 25 years (I am 50 now). Too much PC work and poor posture have been all the reasons my GP gave me over the years. Anyway, it has, of course, become more present rather than being on and off. I had a frozen shoulder three years ago and now have pain in shoulders, neck, teeth grinding, jaw pain, headaches, sore tender muscle on ribs left hand side of the rib line. All the pain seems to move about! One day its the neck, then the shoulder, then mid back, then jaw.....Trying to correct my slouched posture but its hard.
Anyway I happened to Google sore shoulder and got a lot of hits about lung cancer. I already think I have breast cancer with no symptoms (they just haven't found it yet). Now I am sure I have lung cancer as well. This has made my jaw worse and I felt like death warmed up when I got up this morning. There is a small nugget of me that knows I am fit and healthy but the rest of my brain refuses to believe it.
I don't want to see my GP. I've been massively health anxious since my mum died in 2014 but I've suffered all my life. I'm too scared to do it at the moment. Just crying a lot and feel so knackered.
Sorry:-( Advice would be welcome.

[Fishmanpa]

I have left side neck and shoulder pain nearly daily. Sometimes it's all I can do to get through the day and pain meds barely make it tolerable. It's not cancer. It sucks, though! You have as I do, a valid reason for the pain and that's what it is. We both know what we need to do to help alleviate it. I do what I've been told to do and slowly but surely I'm having more and more better days. Wish it would happen faster but eh... I'm 50+ too and results aren't the same as when we were in our 20's. So, you either do what you've been told and improve or don't and continue or get worse.

Just wanted to add.... I know how frustrating it feels, believe me I do, but just keep on listening to that "small nugget" of rationality and logic. Remember, good things come in small packages ;)

Positive thoughts

[cerridwen]

Thank you Fishmanpa

You don't know how much your words have helped me. I never really get many replies to my posts, it's nice to have such a positive one.

Thanks again

x

[Bakebeansrule]

Hi I'm new to this Heath anxiety and it's driving me crazy sometimes so I know how you feel. I think I have X y and z but deep down i realise i haven't and it's the anxiety making me worse then think what if it's not anxiety?

I find talking to people really helps me so if you need anyone to talk to I'm here, can't promise any wise words but I can listen and I know how your feeling, take care

[cerridwen]

Do you feel lonely with all this anxiety? I do. No one understands, husband, friends or family. I really want to be normal for them. My husband really loves me but he says things like "when are you ever going to be better?" Well - this is me, Buster! And I feel a real sense of not being good enough because I am constantly preoccupied with having a cancer that hasn't been found yet.
its a lonely road.
C x

[Fishmanpa]

Do you feel lonely with all this anxiety? I do. No one understands, husband, friends or family. I really want to be normal for them. My husband really loves me but he says things like "when are you ever going to be better?" Well - this is me, Buster! And I feel a real sense of not being good enough because I am constantly preoccupied with having a cancer that hasn't been found yet.
its a lonely road.
C x

The truth of the matter is, if you live long enough, chances are you may get cancer. So.... do you live in fear or just live and deal with it if or when it happens? HA peeps are always talking about "what ifs". "What if" this or "What if" that etc. IMO, the biggest "What ifs" are the chances we never took for fear of "What If?". The biggest regrets we have in life are not the chances we took and failed at but the chances we never took because of the fear of "What if?".

You could die in a car accident tomorrow or some other random chance event, so live each day as though it may be your last. Tell your loved ones you love them and enjoy your life. Read the quote in my signature. Having faced death on several occasions, I can tell you first hand that it's amazing advice.

Positive thoughts

[Bakebeansrule]

Yes I feel very lonley at times I have amazing people around me but I'm so fed up with this myself I'm sure they must be too. I feel like I'm not good enough for them and a useless mum. thats why it's good to chat on here people understand.

[cerridwen]

The truth of the matter is, if you live long enough, chances are you may get cancer. So.... do you live in fear or just live and deal with it if or when it happens? HA peeps are always talking about "what ifs". "What if" this or "What if" that etc. IMO, the biggest "What ifs" are the chances we never took for fear of "What If?". The biggest regrets we have in life are not the chances we took and failed at but the chances we never took because of the fear of "What if?".

You could die in a car accident tomorrow or some other random chance event, so live each day as though it may be your last. Tell your loved ones you love them and enjoy your life. Read the quote in my signature. Having faced death on several occasions, I can tell you first hand that it's amazing advice.

Positive thoughts

Fishmanpa
I know you are right but it's hard to live that reality, every day. I am going through a phase in my life when I am changing; I have been through a couple of serious illnesses myself, I've just lost both my parents, Mum to cancer and Dad, although still alive, has dementia and the person he used to be is gone. I have stared down my mortality and not really made peace yet with the fact that I am no longer young and that I will die one day. Suddenly it's a big deal and I am trying to come to terms with it, like everyone does at some point in their life. The health anxiety has been there since I was a teenager but it spikes at various points and it's been spiking since my mum died because I am struggling to adapt to a new life perspective. I do tell my loved ones I love them, I do try to live to the full each day and I have always fought this anxiety but this past 18 months it's has been really weighing heavy on me. And I am weary.

[Fishmanpa]

I do understand. I lost a dear friend only four years older than myself and just lost my step mother last month. My Dad is in failing health. My mother is suffering from the beginning stages of dementia.

Yes, it's difficult to maintain a positive attitude with the crap we have to deal with in our everyday lives let alone it being complicated by anxiety disorder. You've found ways to weather the storm since your teens and I'm confident you'll do so again. By now you have a few tricks up your sleeve I'm sure :)

The positive thought I posted today seems perfect for you right now...

"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
Joseph Campbell

Positive thoughts

[countrygirl]

The truth of the matter is, if you live long enough, chances are you may get cancer. So.... do you live in fear or just live and deal with it if or when it happens? HA peeps are always talking about "what ifs". "What if" this or "What if" that etc. IMO, the biggest "What ifs" are the chances we never took for fear of "What If?". The biggest regrets we have in life are not the chances we took and failed at but the chances we never took because of the fear of "What if?".

You could die in a car accident tomorrow or some other random chance event, so live each day as though it may be your last. Tell your loved ones you love them and enjoy your life. Read the quote in my signature. Having faced death on several occasions, I can tell you first hand that it's amazing advice.





Positive thoughts




This is the what we all on here with Health Anxiety should have printed out in big letters and stuck on the wall in our houses to read every single morning that we wake up alive. To remind ourselves to be thankful that we are actually alive even if we feel ill with a million nasty symptoms!

Thank you Fishmanpa