Feeling awful :( [Archive]

snowflake293

04-03-16, 09:58

Hi everyone

I am feeling so low today. I have been tapering off Sertraline (without GP supervision) for a few weeks. I currently am off work with what I think is a sickness bug but cause my health anxiety is so bad I am worrying about it being cancer :(

I feel like I can't do this anymore. I have booked to see my GP next week and will do as I am told in terms of medication and further therapy (have had various treatment so far and it has all been helpful)

I am currently worrying over ovarian cancer cause I have the following symptoms:

Bleed unexpectedly (however I do have a Mirena coil so this does happen)
Sore tummy (this could just be the bug)
Pain when going for a number two (have had this years I have endometriosis on my bowels)
Weeing lots (again, I have had this for years and years)

I feel like I am losing my mind :( I want to get better so desperately. I have everything to be happy for but I just can't let go of the anxiety.

Any words of comfort/advice would be appreciated as I feel at such a low ebb today. I spent all day yesterday in bed shaking and shivering and was sick a few times. I actually feel a little better today but I can't eat :(

Is it possible to get a bug like this? Where you don't have constant throwing up (also I have had no diarrhoea) I feel like I have flu.

I wish I could see my GP sooner but I know I will have a melt down and cry and get signed off work and I don't want that :(

Feeling really confused :(

cerridwen

04-03-16, 10:21

Hello Snowflake
Big hugs to you :bighug1:I know exactly what you are going through because I am the same at the moment. How awful for you to be having such a terrible time😓
Firstly congratulations on trying to get off Sertraline; that is a positive step and I can see that you have been trying to do something helpful for yourself. It is important that I acknowledge what a HUGE achievement even just thinking about coming of antidepressants is. If you are keen to come off antidepressants then I would strongly advise you do it with the help and support of your GP. When you start to come off them they can make you weepy, depressed and more anxious in the short term; this is not you getting worse, these are some of the side effects of the drugs.
Also, there is nothing wrong with staying on them if you believe they are helping you.......it's great that you are speaking to your GP next week, you can discuss all these things with him/her.
So much about your post rang true with me. How many times have the words "I can't do this anymore" drifted through my head when I have been at rock bottom. You have very clear diagnoses for your symptoms but there is still a nagging doubt and a fear of cancer. I am exactly the same. My shoulder pain is a pulled muscle but I've convinced myself it's a lung cancer symptom and that I am going to die. I am very withdrawn at the moment, communicating only with friends on email, everything is an effort, can't be bothered. Yet I am terrified to see my GP. Haven't seen him in over a year. I am trying to go cold turkey by making a rule that I only see him about symptoms that persist for a week or that are 'red flags' but my anxiety is through the roof. I am not on drugs but sometimes I wish I could stop this brain chatter of fearful thoughts. Again, you are taking control by making the appointment to see yours. That's braver than I can be. Try to get your fears allayed by the GP and then focus on something else. Distract yourself. If you do it long enough it might just work. Good luck!:bighug1:
C X

snowflake293

04-03-16, 11:25

Thank you so much for your reply xxx

Sorry to hear you are going through the same thing at the moment :( it is horrible isn't it?

I am worrying cause even though I think its a tummy bug I've had, I had no diarrhoea and its making me worry it isn't a bug :( I know that is probably just irrational fears.

I want to come off the tablets cause they make me really hungry and I have gained 14lbs (I get married in 6 months too... eek) and also they sort of make me feel a bit 'detached'. Also I really do feel I am starting to get over my health anxiety problems.

At the moment I am too scared to see my GP about anything they could possibly refer me on for tests about or be concerned about! its like I went full circle from being there 4 times a week to not going in months cause I hate the suspense of being sat in the waiting room :(

My worst fear is showing them/telling them something and they send me for scans or blood tests. It all started when I had a biopsy on a breast lump about 3 1/2 years ago (my mom was being treated for breast cancer at the time) and the waiting for the results was just torturous.

Distracting ourselves is a fantastic way of coping. I have loads of books to read so gonna plough on with them I think :)

xx

Fishmanpa

04-03-16, 13:00

snowflake293

05-03-16, 02:37

Just an observation. Obviously, you decided on your own to take yourself off of meds. Looking back, I noticed a difference in the number of posts as well as the general tone of them. This decision appears to have been detrimental to your overall well being as it seemed to me at least that they were helping you. see this thread. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=175495)

Definitely discuss this with your GP and therapist (if you still have one).

Hope you feel better soon.

Positive thoughts

I agree with you, the worst of it is - I kind of knew it would happen and I did it anyway :( I feel terrible and I can't sleep. My other half is asleep and I just feel so low. I am going to try and see the GP sooner.

I only reduced it by 50mg but it has had such a huge effect on me, but now I am either actually having or just noticing things more and it is so confusing. I am half way between 'ok' and noticing things and thinking "hang on, shouldn't I be freaking out more than I am" just goes to show how habitual it all is :(

Thank you for linking that post, reading it through has made me feel more positive, I know I can get through this but it is so tough...