Cancer fears again.... petechiae following a rash?

[snowflake293]

Has anyone ever had this?

A month or so ago, I noticed a red, slightly dry patch on my inner arm. Doesn't hurt or itch. Gradually it got a bit bigger (went from about 1.5cm when I first noticed it to 2cm) then over the next few weeks I had smaller patches over my chest and stomach, little red patches. My stomach was slightly itchy.

Had a Google and it looked like it was something called Pityriasis Rosea and apparently its harmless and goes away. It is fading now and I have no new patches, but I have noticed the patches have turned into petechiae (pin prick rash, doesn't fade under pressure)

So of course, I am worrying now about leukaemia :( I am really effing fed up cause took matters into my own hands and reduced my medication without talking to the dr first! I KNOW the most likely cause of this is just the blood vessels have burst due to the rash or something but of course now I am scanning my entire body for 'possible signs' of cancer and/or deadly disease.

I can't sleep and feel totally weird. When my health anxiety was really bad I'd have been down A&E by now with this rash but for some reason I am sat here and I can't work out if I am freaked out or don't give a damn about it?!

Either way I feel really low and emotional.

To anyone out there considering coming off meds WITHOUT talking to your GP first, I'd advise against it. All I did was reduce and I feel like I have took massive steps back in my recovery :(

[poppy77]

Psoriasis?

[snowflake293]

It is definitely not psoriasis cause its not dry enough and it doesn't look like it. I have pains in my lower abdomen today and I am worrying about all kinds of cancer/illnesses now :( I feel like I am spiralling with it all again and I feel really confused. I wish I could just see a GP today and sort my medication issue out. So tired of feeling this way.

[poppy77]

When I first got a psoriasis patch on my ankle, it wasn't that dry. It was a pink patch for ages, so, not knowing what it was, I just left it. It eventually became dry and flaky and the doctor then prescribed creams for it.

[snowflake293]

I honestly don't think it is psoriasis. I have had a patch on my arm for a while now and it is only slightly dry. The way I have smaller patches on my chest and tummy really does look like pityriasis rosea (harmless viral skin infection that can hang around a while but clears up eventually). I actually read something online that said sometimes pityriasis rosea can have petechiae so that has put my mind at rest a bit.

I have had psoriasis before, I have a recurring patch at the back of my neck so it definitely isn't that.

I am worrying loads over ovarian cancer this morning. I suffer with endometriosis and the symptoms I get from it are similar to the symptoms I have read about ovarian cancer so I always worry about 'having it for years and it being missed' :(

Feeling really horrible at the moment. My tummy feels quite sore and I KNOW it is the endo and not cancer but my brain is still wired to believe the worst about everything.

[Traceypo]

Hi hun, you've been doing so well lately, I'm sorry you're in this spiral, can you see your practice nurse at gp to discuss your fears about the similarities between the symptoms, maybe she can put you at ease with your diagnosis. I believe it's this issue causing you the worry rather than the patch of dry skin.
I've found nurses to be more informed on women's issues and she'll have access to any previous tests / scans you've had.
Xxx

[snowflake293]

Thanks hun. I feel awful and I am so tired of it all! I should be happy cause things are otherwise going well for me (works going well, getting married this year, lots of good things etc...) but in a way it is making it worse cause I feel pressured and then feel guilty for feeling so anxious!

I haven't had a drink for 4 days now and feel much better for it. Thinking of just stopping altogether cause it brings me down so badly.

I am scared to see a Dr or Nurse cause I am worried the will want to examine me or do blood/urine tests or scans. I am scared they will find a lump on my tummy. (I have been pressing on my own tummy trying to find a lump!)

I am booked to see a Dr week after next but going to talk to him about things going on like health anxiety, drinking, self-harm (I dont make things easy for myself do I lol)

Deep down, I know the belly pains are my endo and not ovarian cancer but its like my brain tricks my mind (if that makes sense)

If I have learned anything from all this its that I will NEVER EVER reduced/change/stop meds again without talking to my GP first.

Hope things are ok with you hun, thanks for understanding xx

[Traceypo]

I'm doing well and in a much better place to offer support, if you need someone to listen I'm only a private message away, I can't always answer straight away but will always reply.
Well done on the alcohol, brave move when you've reduced medication, weddings are stressful and I find when I'm stressed about other things the ha rears it's ugly head, be compassionate with yourself. Your posts are still showing that you can counteract your irrational thoughts with rational ones.
Hope the self-harming isn't too extreme, I've supported young people with that need and I understand how dependent you can become on this, however I've also seen many overcome it. Whatever it is you do, just try to do it as safe as possible.
Xxx

[snowflake293]

Thank you, I am glad to hear you are doing well :)

The self harming isn't that bad, I hadn't done it for about 12 years or so then did it once about a month ago. I do skin pick though (especially toenails, yuck lol) so gonna talk to the GP about that.

I think I withdrew from therapy too quickly, literally as soon as I felt better I was like "I'm off now, cya!" should have stuck it out a bit.

Thanks again xxx

[Traceypo]

I skin pick too, usually my fingers. From my last round of therapy I've learnt to stop searching for answers and start accepting me the way I am. I'm learning to stop being so self critical.
Good luck hun, you can do it.
Xxx

[LilGsMama]

I skin pick too, usually my fingers. From my last round of therapy I've learnt to stop searching for answers and start accepting me the way I am. I'm learning to stop being so self critical.
Good luck hun, you can do it.
Xxx

I find that's a massive part of my anxiety.. the search for answers and not getting any.. blaming my current backslide on lack of closure re my ENT problem xx

[Traceypo]

That was the problem with me hun, I was always searching for a solution to living my life anxiety free, it's took time to realise that's never going to happen and that there is always going to be a level of anxiety in my life, it's how I cope and manage that that matters.
Xxx

[LilGsMama]

That's a good bit of advice.. I lost my rag big time on Thursday during my setback.. it was WHY WHY WHY.. I've used Claire Weekes' method of acceptance for years but have found it hard this time around xxx

[snowflake293]

I have gone back up to my full dose of Sertraline and haven't been drinking at all (on day 11 now!) my mood has been quite low in the evenings when I would normally get drunk but my anxiety is calming down a bit.

I am worrying over ovarian cancer though even thought the symptoms I have are explainable (endometriosis!) my rash is slowly fading now.

Struggling with eating at the moment, as in - eating too much and feeling constantly hungry! been having sweet cravings as I am no longer drinking. I feel fat and horrible :(