BrokenAge
05-03-16, 07:02
Hi, I don't know where to go with this but I'd like to say I'm like every other average 17 year old and I worry about what I'm going to do when I graduate. I devolpes anxiety almost 2 years ago from a bad experience with pot, and was diagnosed with GAD and depression 2 months after that experience. As far as I've known I've always been a little worried kid, but around the age of 12 I grew out of it. My entire life I've had one dream, and that was the join the United States Marine Corps. My family has deep military background, but with anxiety that eliminates the possibility of joining. I felt so much anger towards myself. I always blamed myself for having this awful feeling of worry. As my anxiety devolpes it goes more towards the OCD spectrum. As I learned about diseases like Bi Polar, Schizophrenia and Psychosis I started to worry and dread that if anyone I knew, I'd be the one that that'd happen too. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I can't achieve my life long goal, I'm depressed and I'm scared for my future. I don't want to limit my life because of this. So I'm thinking of a new career path. Like politics, I love to discuss politics. I'm a very conservative person and I'd love to go to college to learn how history and politics. But then the thoughts creep up on me and I worry "what if I can't go to a college because anxiety, what if I can't hold a stable job because I'm scared all the time" I'm feeling lost in life. I just want to live like a normal teenager.