how can I tell my family that I think I have Pure O?!

[char123]

Hi,

I think I've been suffering with pure O since last summer with disturbing and constant thoughts like if I'm attracted to my brother or to kids or if I want to harm myself or others and I've just had enough. If I forget about these for a bit and actually feel normal, I remind myself that I've had these odd crazy thoughts and I just feel like an awful person who won't be able to get anywhere in life. Anyway, I feel like it's time to tell someone about it, like my sister, but I'm scared. I don't think anyone will understand and they will be scared of or for me . And how do even begin? I'm more scared to explain my odd thoughts because they won't understand and if they find out I don't want them to act any differently towards me if you get me. How have you guys been able to explain to your family?? Whenever I start to talk about anything related to it I start crying. And I guess I'm kind of scared that if I go to the doctors with it, they'll tell me that I won't have it and I'm just a really messed up person.

I'd really appreciate any advice of how to explain how I'm feeling to people that doelnt have any knowledge of it. And I'm thinking of telling her tonight so if you have any advice I'd like to hear it as soon as possible please. Thanks for reading :)

[BrokenAge]

You're just going to have to come clean with them. I've found out that with the majority of people with OCD/Anxiety it's almost always common in their family. Just be open with them, tell them you're struggling with intrusive thoughts and you'd like to get help. I can assure you that you're not a sick and twisted person. If you were, you wouldn't be afraid of these thoughts. You know you're not attracted ro your brother or kids. You're just an anxious person like the rest of us. Best of wishes, feel free to PM anytime if you need advice! We're all struggling in our own way.

[MyNameIsTerry]

The Pure O side of OCD can be difficult to understand unless you read about it. For example, POCD could be seen more as paedophilia but there are big differences...but how is someone with no understanding of them going to know that? POCD sufferers themselves join here worrying they are paedophiles and not actually understanding that this is a well documented theme of OCD.

So, if they are unlikely to understand such themes, give them information. If they see medical professionals talking about this, it will be a relief to them as they may worry what it could otherwise mean since we never hear of things like this outside of what we fear we are becoming in those themes. And really, who could blame anyone for being wary of that, I had no clue about these themes until I read OCD sources about them.

[lydiawilks]

Hi Char123!

I'm so sorry you're suffering from Pure O. It is truly awful. BUT the thing that has helped me the most with mine is telling people :) honestly, no one will think you're crazy or dangerous or a pedofile or anything, they will just want to know that you're suffering and know how to help you.

I have told my boyfriend that I had thoughts about killing his family, killing him, having sex with his parents, having sex with my parents, etc etc. People who know you well will know that these thoughts are NOT you. They are just thoughts and they can't hurt you. And trust me, once you've at least eliminated the guilt and fear that comes with these thoughts, you will be well on your way to recovery.

All the best, and message me any time you are feeling stressed.

[char123]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for replying, this really helped me a lot. I've told my sister and it actually went better than I thought! She said that she has had weird thoughts like if she was holding a baby, the thought would come in her head that 'what if I dropped them' but she doesn't obsess over them like I do. It's given me some hope and made me feel better as I can now tell her about it my odd thoughts and rationally explain them to me. But I still can't shake the thought that I could be attracted to my brother! It's like deep down I know that I don't and definitely wouldn't do anything about it but it's like my mind is fighting me with 'well what if I am and that's why this thought won't go away' like my mind is telling me that it's true and its really getting me down.
And I feel like I can't tell what my true thoughts and feelings are anymore. Whatscares me as well is that if the thought really gets to me I'll feel anxious and obsess over it trying to assure myself that I don't but if I see the guy that I like, I'll feel anxious- my heart would beat fast so does this mean I'm attracted to my brother?! I've also tryed thinking 'well if it is true, so what? I wouldn't do anything about it' but it's I know it's still immoral and it doesn't really help because (ideally) I would like to be definitely NOT attracted to him. Because my mind is at war with itself, the thought has come into my head that 'what if this isn't pure o/ anxiety and I'm using this as an excuse because I'm in denial or whatever'. I also analyse myself of I'm actually near my brother& I'm always quite short and annoyed at him because I've come to the conclusion that the more time I spend with him I will 'realise' that I'll like him so I'm worried that this stupid thing will affect my relationship with him (as a brother) in the future.

As you can tell, this is affecting me quite a bit :') usually I'd get over my odd thoughts quite quickly and move onto a new one but this has seemed to stick in the back of my mind for probably almost a year- which makes me think my thoughts could be true as well! Like I said I just feel at war with myself most of the time because of my thoughts and I just want them to stop. Thanks for reading and replying again, I'd appreciate your thoughts or advice as well :D