View Full Version : New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)
Hello everyone.
I will try to be as honest and forthcoming as I can. I'll start by saying I have once more needed to write on this forum a few years back when I had a nervous breakdown down and kept stressing about health issues. Therapy and citalopram and people on this forum helped me deal with it and I was back on my feet.
Now I have a new role starting this Monday and I am getting the jitters. Which I shouldnt. Common sense says :
you had for job offers and you took this one. if you weren't good in that you do you wouldn't have four job offers. You also took this one because you wanted it.
if you don't like it you can leave and find something else. the goal is to be happy and calm.
wherever you worked people liked you. it is highly likely it will be the same.
you left your old job because of a few reasons. you want something better, something more to your liking. nostalgia isn't it. This job seemed to tick all the right boxes on paper. So it might very well be the one.
you have gotten a a bachelors a masters and a PhD through hard work. you like what you do and if you do not like it you can always go.
So there. Common sense is my ally. And yet I am scared. Not nervous but scared and anxious. I feel that I am regressing back to a childhood age reliving my first day at school.
I am more experienced with anxiety now that I was 4 years ago.
And yet I still haven't found a way to fully control it.
How do we stop being afraid? How do we enjoy what should be a pleasant experience and a chance to a new beginning?
Advice? Mindfulness, meditation, any sites or tutorials to further calm me down?
Thank you all.
Ironically, it is good to be back here. Fear is the bad side of it, but writing to people who understand me already makes me feel better.
All my love to you all,
Evan.
It's normal to be nervous for a new job. Of course us with anxiety tend to amp up that nervousness to a whole new level :)
My advice, which is what I tell myself whenever I start a new job, is to just make it through one day at a time. That very first day you probably will just be settling in, will be shown the ropes, meet some people, etc. Doubtful they'll expect much from you - which can take some pressure off! Maybe decide to treat yourself after for getting through that first day - go to your favorite restaurant or have some ice cream or something :)
Then, the next day. And the next day. Take things one thing at a time. If you're super nervous, one hour at a time and take a quick break hourly (if able) even if it's just to grab a drink of water or run to the restroom.
As time goes on you will become more comfortable in the role. I always tell myself that the first month is probably going to suck, stress-wise. If after that month you're still in a state, it may be worth evaluating why. But just make it through that crummy period and you'll be fine, I'm sure :)
For what it's worth, I've worked a total of...four jobs (I'm still a student, so it's a large number for someone like me!) and only one have I hated so much that I dreaded going to work every day.
Best of luck and congrats on the offer!
It's normal to be nervous for a new job. Of course us with anxiety tend to amp up that nervousness to a whole new level :)
My advice, which is what I tell myself whenever I start a new job, is to just make it through one day at a time. That very first day you probably will just be settling in, will be shown the ropes, meet some people, etc. Doubtful they'll expect much from you - which can take some pressure off! Maybe decide to treat yourself after for getting through that first day - go to your favorite restaurant or have some ice cream or something :)
Then, the next day. And the next day. Take things one thing at a time. If you're super nervous, one hour at a time and take a quick break hourly (if able) even if it's just to grab a drink of water or run to the restroom.
As time goes on you will become more comfortable in the role. I always tell myself that the first month is probably going to suck, stress-wise. If after that month you're still in a state, it may be worth evaluating why. But just make it through that crummy period and you'll be fine, I'm sure :)
For what it's worth, I've worked a total of...four jobs (I'm still a student, so it's a large number for someone like me!) and only one have I hated so much that I dreaded going to work every day.
Best of luck and congrats on the offer!
Thank you poppy. It is good advice. Let's see if I can manage it :)
This is all quite normal, Evan. I am always TERRIFIED when starting a new job. If it is any consolation, the dreaded anticipation is much worse than the actual event. The endless negative possibilities evaporate once I'm in there and reality takes hold. Just try and accept you'll feel crap until you can get started and begin to make a proper judgement about the place. As Poppy says, you usually get an easier time at first with more expected once you've learnt your way round a bit. I always hate the first few weeks, even months until I feel I can make a valid contribution myself and not be too dependent on colleagues. When you're a bit more settled it's easier to make a better judgement on how it's going and whether or not you'll like it. I always try and remember the fact that THEY CHOSE ME as well, so they must like me and rate my skills and abilities!
This is all quite normal, Evan. I am always TERRIFIED when starting a new job. If it is any consolation, the dreaded anticipation is much worse than the actual event. The endless negative possibilities evaporate once I'm in there and reality takes hold. Just try and accept you'll feel crap until you can get started and begin to make a proper judgement about the place. As Poppy says, you usually get an easier time at first with more expected once you've learnt your way round a bit. I always hate the first few weeks, even months until I feel I can make a valid contribution myself and not be too dependent on colleagues. When you're a bit more settled it's easier to make a better judgement on how it's going and whether or not you'll like it. I always try and remember the fact that THEY CHOSE ME as well, so they must like me and rate my skills and abilities!
Thank you. That is also a wonderful thought to have. It would be really helpful if you guys and girls dropped me a message or two for me to read tomorrow during my lunch break. I guess feeling I am not alone in this would be helpful. Not sure but I think so at least. I am learning to cope with this as I go :)
I start another new job tomorrow. As I do agency work, I start new jobs quite frequently lol.
Last week I got lost driving to the interview, it took me nearly 2 hours to do a 25 minute journey. I made it though and git the job :).
Good luck for tomorrow:)
I start another new job tomorrow. As I do agency work, I start new jobs quite frequently lol.
Last week I got lost driving to the interview, it took me nearly 2 hours to do a 25 minute journey. I made it though and git the job :).
Good luck for tomorrow:)
Haha cool. Thank you. Good luck to you as well :)
Chocolateface
06-03-16, 15:48
Congratulations on your new role. You must have impressed at interview to have been offered it so people already like you and think you will fit in. Nerves / anxiety are normal for anyone starting a new job, and I know people that don't have anxiety issues that have felt like this. Remember you common sense points and that you will be trained and shown how systems work, don't expect to learn it all on day one, give yourself time to learn it, I always say it can take up to three months to learn a job and be confident in it. Good luck and let us all know how it went
Clare
Congratulations on your new role. You must have impressed at interview to have been offered it so people already like you and think you will fit in. Nerves / anxiety are normal for anyone starting a new job, and I know people that don't have anxiety issues that have felt like this. Remember you common sense points and that you will be trained and shown how systems work, don't expect to learn it all on day one, give yourself time to learn it, I always say it can take up to three months to learn a job and be confident in it. Good luck and let us all know how it went
Clare
Thank you Clare.i actually plan on writing them down and look at them before I enter the office tomorrow.
Thank you your support is super helpful.
No idea on the time difference, but how did it go?
No idea on the time difference, but how did it go?
You remembered! Consider me charmed and grateful :).
Better than most of my first times. I am trying the DARE approach so whenever I was getting stressed I quickly defused it with a whatever, accepted it and stop fearing it and... Well I envisioned the origin of my anxiety voice being a sock puppet telling me things by my ear. Which helped me smile rather than scare haha. I guess this works. I still had a couple of bad spells but overall very decent. :) Tomorrow is a new day so let's see if I make a 2 out of 2 and if not oh well. Whatever :)
Yay! I've never heard of the DARE approach, but if it works it works.
I know tomorrow will go great too. And once you settle in, you'll wonder how you ever felt nervous. :)
Yay! I've never heard of the DARE approach, but if it works it works.
I know tomorrow will go great too. And once you settle in, you'll wonder how you ever felt nervous. :)
It basically goes like this :
What if I suck at it?
Original response : I won't focus
dare approach : so what? They might fire me. Quickest fire ever woohoo. I welcome this anxious and stressful feeling however. Stick with me stress. Don't go. We got a job to do together. I welcome you but I am not afraid of you. Make my belly dance givey throat bumps tingle my leg. While at it, tingle the other one too.
Basically it's an acceptance in an embracing, compassionate and humorous approach.
And since you are my life coach in a sense I will update you tomorrow!
Thanks for the support!
Haha, the idea of me being a life coach is funny. :D I feel like my own life is a mess!
I'm happy to support you, though! I know how scary starting new jobs can be - I've been at my job a year now and though I'm comfortable in the role there are still days I get confused and feel bad about it.
It sounds like you are doing just fine though. I hope day 2 is going just as well!
Haha, the idea of me being a life coach is funny. :D I feel like my own life is a mess!
I'm happy to support you, though! I know how scary starting new jobs can be - I've been at my job a year now and though I'm comfortable in the role there are still days I get confused and feel bad about it.
It sounds like you are doing just fine though. I hope day 2 is going just as well!
I think life is such that we all need another to support us one way or the other.
Day 2 started with a restless sleep but when I woke up I managed to turn the stress on it'd head. It was a way more productive day for me spent both learning and joking around with my colleagues.
A big part of this I owe to you so thank you.
This is great news. If it is going as well as this at this stage, you should be fine. You have got some good ideas on coping with the stress, and the stress should lessen anyway as you settle in more and your confidence grows. I have started jobs where I feel absolutely wretched at this point!!!!
Well done! :yesyes:
Chocolateface
09-03-16, 21:50
Glad to hear it is going well, you seem to fit in well with colleagues and you are managing your stress, that is great
Clare
Yes, everything is going well.
My colleagues have been very welcome and helpful as well - I think , hard as it is for all of us ('ve gone through the process of celexa, cbt, therapy, and multiple self help books myself), i feel that putting on a smile and remembering to hug ourselves help.
I think that helped me the most was the DARE approach of not fighting my stress, as well as constantly telling myself that I love myself, I care for myself, and it's okay if I get fired, or let go, or the place sucks - all those what ifs thoughts.
Telling myself that it's okay, and accepting the stress and anxiety that naturally comes instead of feeling guilty/sickly/odd/secretive for feeling that way really helped me.
At the end of the day, we only need to answer to the one person we run away from the most in our lives:
Ourselves!
Thank you all for your help. :)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.