need to talk,anyone online?

[toffeekukki]

I am laid in bed trying to sleep. but I keep getting thoughts of throwing myself down the stairs, I aam currently listening to a audio book with fishes playing on youtube to try keep myself calm.

my partner is asleep next to me and I dont want to wake him, last thing he needs is yet another sleepless night watching over me.

advice or someone just to talk with would be helpful right now...

thanks TOFFEE I

[MrsCav]

Hiya!

I hope listening to the audio book helped you drift back off into sleep. I tend to wake in the night, always have, I will put something on my phone from either youtube or iplayer. I don't watch the screen, I turn my phone over so it's still dark but listen to the words ... otherwise I would start thinking of all the stuff that needs to be done or what I have to do.

Sorry I wasn't around.

[MyNameIsTerry]

but I keep getting thoughts of throwing myself down the stairs,

Hi Toffee,

I know these thoughts are distressing but please remember that intrusive thoughts are "ego dystonic" which means the opposite of character and beliefs. So, whilst these are flashing into your mind, they are not a refection of something you wish to do or would consider right.

Try not to react to them in a negative way as this just reinforces their validity to occur.

I suggest you have a look at the OCD board where you will see people talking about these thoughts and how to deal with them. Or start a thread on there if you need help with yours.

They will get better, mine did. I would have them to throw myself off bridges when starting on them or into oncoming traffic when walking up busy A roads.