Now that's progress

[Traceypo]

Hi all,
for those that know me, you'll know the battle I've had for 8 years with Health Anxiety. My last major spiral began in August when I had some very minor health issues that I turned into huge issues, many of which were in my head.
After dwelling and living in my own isolated, reassurance seeking bubble, I bought into CBT for a 3rd time.
This helped me put things into perspective and I was waiting for the next trigger to see how I would cope.
Last Tuesday night, I woke with pain in my neck, two nodes were swollen quite large and I had ear pain (I'm no stranger to ear infections), went to Doctors, accepted it was an ear infection and that the swollen nodes were a natural reaction to this, got my spray and was on my way. Anyhow, today, no better, in fact I feel worse but I'm still smiling. Went to Walk In after work as I knew the spray wasn't working. I was given my usual amoxycillan, but I was seen by my favourite nurse, please be aware this poor nurse has seen me at least once a week in my worst days, she couldn't believe my progress, she said usually you're shaking, taking note of all of my stats and visibly anxious, she said I came in confident, smiling and accepting of what was wrong, despite my pain, foggy head and dizziness.
I've conquered my first trigger, ride out the antibiotics and I'm confident my nodes will reduce back to normal in time.
This is all thanks to having a brilliant therapist who has given me the safety net of calling her direct if I feel my anxiety levels heightening.
Despite my ear, I feel good and content inside.
xxx

[Fishmanpa]

Awesome Tracy! Inspirational in fact. Sorry to hear you got a bug but really happy to see how you're handling it.

Others take note!!

Positive thoughts

[Traceypo]

I'm not sorry haha, I'm pleased it came along quite quick after finishing therapy as I knew this would be the test. Usually with my ear infections I have all the usual doubts, I'm not going to say them for others, but given the symptoms of ear infections and the swollen nodes I'm sure you can hazard a guess!
I just need to now get out there and start exercising more, that's my next goal.
Really appreciate your reply, given all the words of encouragement you've gave me, it's nice for you to see your time and effort wasn't wasted. :winks:
xxx

[ItsNick]

Great job and keep it up! It sounds like you're 100% on the correct path!!

[LilGsMama]

Love this thread! Excellent news. You are an inspiration! xxx

:bighug1:

[Xtrastrongbint]

Well done - absolutely brilliant! You go girl !

[Traceypo]

Thanks Nick, I've learnt a lot in the last few months, I feel sad for the years that I didn't make the most of, but excited for the ones to come.
Next challenge, Disneyland in April, this would be another trigger for me, being away from my safe zone but Im excited to go, can't say I'll go on all the scary rides but I'm determined to enjoy every moment of it.
Xxx

[ItsNick]

Thanks Nick, I've learnt a lot in the last few months, I feel sad for the years that I didn't make the most of, but excited for the ones to come.
Next challenge, Disneyland in April, this would be another trigger for me, being away from my safe zone but Im excited to go, can't say I'll go on all the scary rides but I'm determined to enjoy every moment of it.
Xxx


This makes me smile! Disney is amazing and you'll have a great time. Keep rocking out!

[Traceypo]

Thanks Lil and strong, the support I've had from members has been great, I'm thankful for every kind word.
Xxx

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Tracey,

It's great to hear you are still moving forward.

I wonder if you have felt the "cognitive shift" at some point? I can remember feeling that, like something just clicked in my head and I thought differently about things. I know others who have said the same. Mine moved me greatly towards compassion, it was after 6 months of Mindfulness work.

I can remember other epiphanies that I seemed to have that changed how I thought about things moving forward too.

I hope you continue to keep forging forward!

[Lin71]

Hi Tracey

Brilliant news well done you, and hope you feel better soon :):)

And remember... if you can do this, you can do the scary rides! Have a brilliant time at Disney :D

Lin xx

[pulisa]

Really pleased for you, Tracey! Hope you have a wonderful time at Disney! You have worked very hard to achieve this progress x

[Traceypo]

Thanks all,
Terry, I did a few sessions on the Compassionate model as it became apparent that I'm very compassionate towards others but not to myself. I was so wrapped up in 'perfectionism' that I wasn't enjoying anything as I was too busy planning the next 'perfect' moment. I'm learning to stop being so hard on myself and giving myself unrealistic expectations as I'm always going to feel like I'm failing. I'm lowering my standards, I work 30 hours a week, look after 2 kids and have a home to maintain, I'm not superwoman and if we run out of toothpaste it's not the end of the world.
The mindfulness is still work in progress but it's certainly helping, on my drive to the walk in I noticed all of the colours in the sky, the twinkle of the streetlights and thought how pretty it looked, not so long ago I'd have been consumed by thoughts of terminal illnesses and 'what ifs'. I am getting lost in thoughts that I don't even know what I'm thinking about (if that makes sense), which is wonderful as my thought processes were previously so controlled.
I'm singing (my poor family as I'm tone deaf) but I'm appreciating music, my favourite being Smile (though your heart is breaking), it always have me smiling by the end.
Finally, as said previously, acceptance, accept what is and what has been, see it for what it truly is, not the what if or the potential it has to be. Accept that I don't have full control of every situation.
I'm never going to live a life anxiety free, but neither is any of the 'normal' people, its how I manage the anxiety that matters.
xxx

[23fish]

Terry, I have read so many of your posts and always found them to be so understanding and supportive. I was wondering - if you had to choose one mindfulness resource to recommend, which would it be?
Best wishes
23

[MyNameIsTerry]

Terry, I have read so many of your posts and always found them to be so understanding and supportive. I was wondering - if you had to choose one mindfulness resource to recommend, which would it be?
Best wishes
23

Sorry 23, I bookmarked the thread to come back to it and then forgot. :doh:

Thanks for the kind words, they are very much appreciated. :flowers:

I tend to go with Professor Mark Williams. I found his Finding Peace in a Frantic World book excellent and it gets a lot of good reviews on Amazon. No medical babble, simple to understand and thought provoking. It does a good job of explaining how we live on autopilot and how to change this. It's a meld with CBT so there are weekly exercises that start off very simple e.g. week 1 sitting in a different seat and taking in the room around you to change your perspective (also meditation daily if possible and these are different per week to take you through different concepts and build on previous exercises). All the tracks off the CD are in the thread in my signature if you want to try them?

[mnaha]

:yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:congrats on progress