Test results triggered my anxiety disorder again.

[Bonnibelle]

I had health anxiety many years ago but overcame it. Then 4 years ago a trauma triggered anxiety, I had horrible crippling anxiety and agoraphobia. I worked hard for 2 years and overcame it, my life was great again. Then last summer I started with awful fatigue and had to have some tests. With this my anxiety returned due to having some results a little abnormal.

My ferritin and B12 were tested in summer and before Christmas. Ferritin had gone up from 15 to 31 and B12 from 212 to 501.

My HB was 15.5 so not anaemic at all. Full blood count all normal.

The only test results I have that are showing some concern to me are my cholesterol is 6.9. My HDL is 1.6 which is good. LDL is 3.9 and Triglycerides were 3.

My HBA1C (diabetes test) was 40 (20-41 is normal) but I am worried sick why it's 40! GP tells me I have no reason to worry about that at all and they will just check it annually or sooner if I develop symptoms.

My thyroid is out of wack. Had a few tests in the last year and recent results showed I am over range and hypothyroid but my GP won't treat me until my TSH reaches 10, crazy! My TSH is 6.54 (02.7-4.4) and T4 14 (12-22). I am being retested tomorrow. I am classed as subclinical despite lots of symptoms.

I eat very well. The only vice of mine is dark chocolate. I usually have a square or 2 a day of the 70-90% dark. Other than that I don't eat cakes, biscuits, white bread... I don't eat any rubbish at all. I don't eat red meat, no burgers or fatty foods. My typical day is Oats at breakfast with almond milk, snack is a banana or oats cakes with humous. Lunch is avocado on toast, beans on toast, mackerel on toast.... Dinner is veggie chilli with wholegrain rice, brown rice pasta with veggies, chicken low fat curry with wholegrain rice, chicken with potato salad using half fat soured cream and salad.... Snacks are fruit or oat cakes usually. Supper in the evening I usually have 0% fat greek yoghurt (Total yoghurt). My diet is very clean. I am even too scared to eat eggs or dairy these days.

This is why I am worried, why on earth would I be 2 marks away from the pre diabetic range of 42-48. Why is my cholesterol high? (it is in my mums family, along with hypothyroidism).

I take a liquid iron supplement daily. I also take B12 daily (liquid spray 1400ug a day), D3 2000ug a day, Biocare multivitamin which is of excellent quality. I also rub magnesium oil into my skin twice a day as I can't take the oral supplements.

I weigh 116lbs, I am 5ft tall. The only other medications I take are Mirtazapine 15mg for sleep and anxiety (been on it 3 years). I also take Loestrin 20 combined pill for very heavy periods.

I am having alot of crash days lately. I had a day of energy Friday so I did yoga, went food shopping, i expected to feel awful on Saturday but again had energy so spring cleaned my house. Then Sunday huge crash. My eyes were heavy, heavy head, felt off balance, weak..... I still felt rough yesterday. I seem to have these crash days after having a day or 2 of more energy and functioning normally doing my yoga and normal tasks. I never used to have these crash days. I just felt exhausted every day but never had days where it was so severe I'd be in bed recovering for a day or 2. Now I seem to crash a couple of days a week. I am a busy mum, I have 3 children (10, 12 & 13) I am a housewife but have had to cut right back on housework, so my husband hoovers and mops for me now. I cook, do light cleaning, feed the pets, 2 school runs a day..... I barely have energy to do these but I do. I have anxiety due to how I feel but only on my bad days, on crash days I go into high anxiety because I fear I will collapse, or end up in hospital. It sends my anxiety wild.

I have been worrying do I have addisons, do I need my cortisol checking. I am worried because my cholesterol is high, my hba1c bloods were normal but high in the normal range so I keep worrying is my dry mouth a diabetes issue and not related to my thyroid. It worries me silly every day, hence my anxiety disorder triggering again :-( My health anxiety is rife but only since all these health issues and test results concerning me.

My GP said I went through a very traumatic time October - January (my son was bullied and became housebound with crippling panic attacks and was suicidal) I had no support and had to take care of him myself. During this time I did feel more unwell and my fatigue got worse. With that I started feeling like I was walking on a boat or marshmallows, cold, weak and like I said the crash days. My son is well now and doing absolutely amazing, no thanks to the NHS. I was his carer and therapist and got him well. I admit it's left me worn out. My GP says I am subclinical hypothyroid and he thinks the amount of stress I was under has triggered CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) as it was during that period i got worse energy wise and it's got worse despite my son now well and the stress passed.

My GP tells me I don't need to worry about my diabetes, my cholesterol is hyreditary and my thyroid we are monitoring closely. I do my best to cope as normal but if I over do things one day I really have bad crash days and it's on those days I worry and feel anxious :weep: Can anyone relate? I am working so hard re reading my anxiety books that helped me 2 years ago but I feel can they really work when it's real health issues doing this to me? I have become agoraphobic again alot of the time due to how weak and ill I feel every day. I have seen my GP 3 times in 3 months so I am being kept an eye on, he comes out to my house as I don't feel well enough to go to the GP as I have panic attacks when I go to appointments now :weep:I am devastated all of this has triggered my anxiety and agoraphobia again. I said to my husband, take away these health issues, the fatigue, crippling fatigue most days and weakness, dizziness, balance issues... and I'd be out living life and I prove that because on my none crash days I am back out in shops. I went to Aldi to do the food shop with my husband the other night to just prove it is not just anxiety doing this to me, on the days I don't feel in a crash I can function as normal.

Can I still work on my anxiety when I have all of this going on? I was out living again, doing appointments again.. now I am back unable to do appointments, or big places... I feel so annoyed with myself. My husband says this is not an anxiety issue, sort out the health issues and he thinks i will be fine again.

Sorry to offload, I just feel alone and left to suffer :weep:

[Traceypo]

Hi hun, I've been thinking of you and was hoping you were doing a lot better.
Lets break down your worries; although you're two marks away from pre-diabetic range, you're still in the 'normal' range, had you not analysed your bloods, your GP would have referred to this result as 'normal'.
Cholesterol - you have a healthy diet, it's hereditary, how can you change that, you can't its in your genes. You eat a very healthy diet, you've done all you can for this.
You had chronic fatigue, I would only imagine that this would take some time for your energy levels to return, the fact you're having days with more energy must suggest that you're heading in the right direction.
You had a rough time with your son, I remember this well and I believe your daughter was unwell too, that time has now passed and I'm so pleased your son is doing much better, take credit for that, you were there for him and supported him despite how you were feeling inside.
Be kind to yourself, you're doing your best, if you have days where you want to crash all day, let yourself, give yourself that time to help your energy levels return.
I don't see any major diagnosed health concerns in your post, my view is the main issue is the anxiety and fear you have about the 'what ifs', so yes, I think you should work on your anxiety as hopefully it will then help you cope better with your feelings and emotions and stop worrying about the 'what ifs'.
Let yourself have a bad day, it doesn't have to be a bad week, each day is a new day.
Remember your progress and be proud of those achievements, life is full of set-backs but it's how me face and manage them that counts. You have come such a long way, read back your previous threads and your progress will become so apparent.
xxx

[Bonnibelle]

Hi hun

How are you?

Yes, during that awful time with my son my daughter kept catching virus after virus. I was coping alone being my sons carer, therapist and mum. I was physically unwell myself as I'd had crippling fatigue since the summer (hence all the bloods). I had no support only that of my husband but he has to work full time of course so I was coping alone every day, it wore me down.

Yes I know there is little I can do about my cholesterol. It is hireditary. Something out of my control and I need to accept that. My GP is also not concerned about my cholesterol at all. He has told me to just do a low fat diet for a year and we will then re test. He said at my age the risk of any heart issues is slim.

My thyroid he said I will need thyroxine in the neawr future and for now we will monitor is closely. The thing is I am very symptomatic and I am sure it's why I have had this crippling fatigue for 9 months. The fatigue is now worse since the CFS too.

The diabetes I know it's within range but it was 38 September then 40 in December. I am now concerned if they test again and it's within the diabetic range he will say diet changes, what changes can I make? that is why I am worried why are these things happening to me.

So I do feel I do have health issues and I can't help but worry as I am 36, I have a good diet, I do yoga, I am slim, I should not be having all of these issues :blush:

That was something I was worrying about, can I really work on my anxiety and agoraphobia when I feel this poorly physically? The level of fatigue, the crashes, weakness etc.. that I have is what stops me getting out and about living life. On the days I am not in a crash i get out and about and prove this is not anxiety or depression. Even my husband says I am only anxious and upset on the crash days, on the days I feel a little better I live as normal. Every day I am fatigued, weak... but there are days it's much worse than others and on crash days I just cannot leave my house I feel so ill. My GP at first tried to blame the stress of my son and anxiety but then he realised that was all over so he thinks I have CFS. Plus on the days I crash I know full well this isn't my anxiety because like I say I had anxiety many years and I never felt physically ill with it, I also never felt ill after a bit of yoga, or a walk. These days the day after an amount of exertion I can guarantee i will crash and feel very ill. Last week my crash lasted 5 days, it was awful. Then it passed and I was normal and happy for 2 days until my energy ran out again and I crashed again.

Thanks for helping me break it down. I do feel my fears of all this off tests is the cause of my anxiety again plus how ill the symptoms make me feel. I felt so ill by last September I had a huge panic attack in the nurses room when I was in a bad fatigue day and I forced myself there for a blood test they needed me to have done. Since then I have lost my confidence due to how weak and exhausted I was and I knew it caused the panic when out.

THanks hun.

B

Hi hun, I've been thinking of you and was hoping you were doing a lot better.
Lets break down your worries; although you're two marks away from pre-diabetic range, you're still in the 'normal' range, had you not analysed your bloods, your GP would have referred to this result as 'normal'.
Cholesterol - you have a healthy diet, it's hereditary, how can you change that, you can't its in your genes. You eat a very healthy diet, you've done all you can for this.
You had chronic fatigue, I would only imagine that this would take some time for your energy levels to return, the fact you're having days with more energy must suggest that you're heading in the right direction.
You had a rough time with your son, I remember this well and I believe your daughter was unwell too, that time has now passed and I'm so pleased your son is doing much better, take credit for that, you were there for him and supported him despite how you were feeling inside.
Be kind to yourself, you're doing your best, if you have days where you want to crash all day, let yourself, give yourself that time to help your energy levels return.
I don't see any major diagnosed health concerns in your post, my view is the main issue is the anxiety and fear you have about the 'what ifs', so yes, I think you should work on your anxiety as hopefully it will then help you cope better with your feelings and emotions and stop worrying about the 'what ifs'.
Let yourself have a bad day, it doesn't have to be a bad week, each day is a new day.
Remember your progress and be proud of those achievements, life is full of set-backs but it's how me face and manage them that counts. You have come such a long way, read back your previous threads and your progress will become so apparent.
xxx