Strong OCD and stupid thoughts.

[viking111]

Hello!
I've stumbled upon another problem. So the story is, that about 2 months ago I started having this thought that I travelled to a different dimension which is similar to the real one. I also started noticing weird behaviours from my family, for example, my dad, while driving out of my home street, turning on the direction sign, as he usually does not.
Since then I've ignored these thoughts and stopped noticing those weird behaviour changes. I also first noticed these behaviour changes when I had depression and DPDR, so It might be just anxiety and OCD making me notice things I wouldn't notice normally.
It all sounds really dumb, and I completely understand OCD and how it works, but I am really puzzled by these behavior changes. Also I've had numerous nervous breakdowns, if I can call them that, or panic attacks.
Right now I am having high anxiety 24/7, even dreaming of OCD and such.
What should I do, my compulsions mainly revolve around masturbating, and even when not doing them to fight the obsessions, I will have to do them eventually every other day or so on.
I could use some advice on this.

[BrokenAge]

You did the right thing by ignoring the thoughts and just accepting them as thoughts. That's all they are. Anxiety does seem to make us notice things thay we usually do not. I just experinced this today. I listened to a song that I knew before I devolped anxiety. My one crippling fear is schizophrenia and if I just hear the word sometimes it makes me anxious. Well in the chorus of the song it mentions schizophrenia and I was shocked that I didn't notice that before. Our minds are just so much more aware because of all the anxiety.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi viking.

In terms of masturbation, not doing it as a result of a trigger means it is by your choice. There were many compulsions in mine which I had to do throughout the day so when they were needed I told myself I was "choosing" to do them, not being forced to do them. This "wanting" is important in anxiety disorders. It's like how positive language is "could" instead of "should".

I broke some of my compulsions that way - by accepting the trigger and then changing the thoughts to 'I am doing this because I choose too, not because my anxiety is telling me too', and I would wait a few seconds to prove it was my choice and I would start to feel that I wanted to do it.

In terms of the odd perceived behaviours by your family, I think the issue is that you are seeing a perfectionism area here - routine must always be the same. Humans are creatures of habit, we do a lot of routines each week, but we do them on autopilot as opposed to being forced to do them by our OCD. So, your dad is just changing his routine for some reason, whatever it is, but it's triggering your perfectionism which is demanding things be done a certain way. Either that or the control issue found in anxiety.

How about learning to accept that things won't always be the same or be done the same way? Sometimes a person may decide to do something out of the normal order e.g. perhaps your dad will put his shoes on before his tie but then one day do it the other way around. Neither matter, the end result is the same and neither are of substance anyway.

[viking111]

Thanks for the replies!
I'll try to avoid thinking about OCD for some time until I start feeling better. Right now I am feeling in kind of medium depression, last time I had this was summer, when this fear struck me the first time. I am positive I will recover.
Though I have one question. As I noticed OCD getting stronger from time to time, is it possible for it to get so strong and overwelming, that I will just break down. I've seen people saying that you cannot go mad or crazy by anxiety, but I am wondering what would happen if OCD gets stronger and stronger from time to time?

[BrokenAge]

Well OCD is an anxiety disorder and you said it yourself that you cannot go mad from anxiety. I know with an anxious mind we always try to find a "what if" but you need to just accept that with anxiety there will be highs and lows. Just don't let it control your life. None of us will truly go mad even though sometimes it surely feels like it. I feel like with your depression it triggers your OCD and intrusive thoughts? I'm the same way so I understand the negative thought process.

[viking111]

Could anyone give me tips on how to reduce the anxiety? I kinda feel really really low at the time.

[BrokenAge]

Medicine is always an option but I prefer not too. Socializing Is my best bet for you, it does wonders for me. Relieve anxiety levels considering I'm only anxious when I all alone in my house. Sleep is very important because for me when my schedule gets messed up I find myself more anxious because I'm tired during the day. Just try to have a positive outlook. I know it's hard sometimes but if I can do it you can too. Its a process that'll take time.

[viking111]

Medicine is always an option but I prefer not too. Socializing Is my best bet for you, it does wonders for me. Relieve anxiety levels considering I'm only anxious when I all alone in my house. Sleep is very important because for me when my schedule gets messed up I find myself more anxious because I'm tired during the day. Just try to have a positive outlook. I know it's hard sometimes but if I can do it you can too. Its a process that'll take time.

I hope I will manage it. I try to do everything to forget about it. I watch movies, play PC games, ride bike around the forest trail and such.
I've had these same symptoms the first time I encountered this thought, this summer. Like then, I also now feel kind of if I was taken out of reality and put somewhere different. I think this is anxiety.
Also about those weird behaviours I've noticed. I am not sure what it is, probably just anxiety, as I've encountered these same behaviours when I had DPDR this summer and at those times when I felt anxious.
Thanks for the advice!

[Chrisapp]

I suffered with this spike too, I think what triggered it for me was watching The Thing by John Carpenter :blush:

[BrokenAge]

I can say with my OCD is how it usually happens is it starts with that anxious feeling in my chest AND then the thoughts come on. If you can reduce thay anxiety the thoughts will also go away over time.