My Citalopram Journey [Archive]

Jem21

10-03-16, 08:57

I thought i would use this as a place to put my thoughts and also use as a record to see how far i'm coming along.

You could say i'm a bit of a cit veteran, i'm not actually sure how many times i've been on it but it's quite a few to to the fact i've lost count. This is the only AD i've ever tried and it's always worked for me so fingers crossed it will again. I'd been quite happy on 20mg of cit for the last 10 months, but due to a crappy few days full of agitation as i wasn't feeling well as couldn't explain why, my doctor wanted to increase me to 40mg. Knowing what a big jump that is i talked him into letting me just increase to 30 and to see how i went.

Well it's been exactly 6 weeks today on 30 and what a ride it's been and not pleasant to say the least. The day after i increased my dose i found out i have skin cancer, a sarcoma to be precise. Extremely rare and i'm only the 45th person in the world to have this type. I couldn't tell you if the next couple of weeks the increased anxiety were due to the meds or the fact i didn't know what was going to happen, a bit of both i suspect. I then found out that it's totally treatable as it's low grade and in my tissue and not cells and i'm going in today to have any remaining skin cells removed. I'm not actually that worried about it, weirdly i'm more concerned with the head, nose, jaw and ear pressure i've been experiencing. I've been on cit before because of these problems and it seemed to sort itself after a few weeks but 6 weeks on the increase it's still here. i've self diagnosed it hundreds of times and changed my mind by the hour what it is, of course winding myself up in the process. I've thought my meds were too high, the too low, the not working at all. My brain had raced at a thousand miles an hour and it's been a bumpy ride.

I've decided that i am going to stick to the 30mg until the 8 week mark, my doctor has given me some antibiotics as he thinks it may be an infection and i am booking an appointment at the dentist as jaw problems can cause pressure and aches in the places i am having them. I am also aware that cit can cause jaw clenching but i've never had this symptom like this before so if it turns out that the dentist is fine and the antibiotics don't work then i may have to look at another AD. i've also been offered CBT and i've never tried this before so going to give it a go.

The anxiety was horrific yesterday but today it seems a bit quieter like it's in the background. Feel very on edge and keep checking myself constantly to see how i feel.

I'm going to go out shortly to get my son a card and presents as it's his birthday tomorrow (he's 12) before i get ready to go into hospital for my surgery, my mum is taking me and they said i should be out for 6pm so i'm looking forward to the family having to run around after me for the next few days http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/smilies/yesyes.gif

Till later.

Jem21

10-03-16, 20:47

Well, very scared to say this but today has been one of the best days i've had since upping my dose. The anxiety has been very under the surface on and off but not like it has been. It's like i'm waiting for it all to kick off at any moment and it hasn't. My mind also seems a bit clearer, no racing thoughts and the scary thoughts i have had i seem to have been able to go past and dismiss a lot easier. I am praying this is the increase starting to work and that it continues into tomorrow.

The hospital went really well today and my op went great, i was in and out in 3 hours and the surgeon was lovely. Have to go back in a week and get the dressing changed and then go back a week later for the results. The surgeon was very positive that he thinks they have it all so fingers crossed. Had a tired spell in the hospital but it passed and i was actually laughing with the staff in the operating room. Came home and got settled in bed and we ordered pizza. Had an unsettled feeling in my tummy since i've gotten home but no big anxiety. Also been noticing how much i'm clenching my jaw.

I'm a bit worried that i need to rest up for a few days as i like to try and keep busy when i'm like this so really hope i continue how i've been today into tomorrow.

Jaysmd

11-03-16, 05:14

Fingers crossed for you. Keep us updated

Suziewuzie

11-03-16, 08:48

Glad you had a good day Jem & really hope it continues today :)

Jem21

11-03-16, 10:03

Well yesterday seems to have continued into today, my mind feels calm still which is good news. The numb feeling or no feelings at all thing has passed totally now which is soo nice. Still some anxiety under the surface and i'm still checking to see how i feel but really hope this is the start of the meds doing their job. Although now is the time i really need to help myself by keeping busy to pass the time while they work. Took a while to get to sleep last night but when i did nod off i slept right through and also no pain from my surgery which is great as i thought it would really hurt today.

Need to call the doctors and arrange to have my dressing changed, then get everything sorted for my son getting home from school as it's his birthday today, so i'm going to try and keep occupied and see how things go.

Jaysmd - will do, i'm pretty confident it's all going to be fine. Hope you are doing well?

Suzie - How are you doing at the moment?

x

Suziewuzie

11-03-16, 10:10

That's great! It would be totally understandable if you felt pants after the hospital & everything but it's great that you're feeling good despite that.

Oh I'm day 4 of cold turkeying from Citalopram and feel dreadful :yesyes:

Bramwell1

11-03-16, 10:10

Great news Jem. I hope it continues.

Jem21

11-03-16, 10:29

Thanks Bramwell, sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish, i have replied to your thread and really hope you get sorted.

Suzie, aww sorry to hear you are feeling dreadful, cold turkey doesn't sound great, are you going to start anything else?

It's taken 6 weeks to even start to see some improvement so i'm fingers crossed it doesn't nosedive.

Jem21

11-03-16, 15:58

So today up to now has been a bit all over the place, the tiredness is just silly... Went to post office and yawned all the way there and back. Had a headache and ear pressure most of the day and just want to lay down all the time. I have no energy or motivation although I don't feel depressed. I just feel totally wiped out all the time which really winds me up. I'm going to try and get out for a walk later but that's a tough one because of the op on my foot. Got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach rather than full blown anxiety. Tried to speak to my partner and he just said 'I don't know it changes every time I speak to you' then it turned into an argument. I now know not to try that again any time soon. My mum is really good so I'll have a chat with her later.

Jem21

11-03-16, 21:42

Well today has been a complete wipe out to say the least!
The tired spell passed but the day went from bad to worse.
Had the argument with my partner. Then my son got home and was being a total nightmare, which then caused another argument with my partner..
I don't think it's helped that i've felt tired for most of the day and i've not really been able to do anything due to my foot and my jaw and ears along with the constant headache having been winding me up for most of the day, and i had a google fest about it which i shouldn't do, not that i think it's anything serious i just need to know how to fix it!!!! Haven't felt low though just wound up and on edge. The anxiety has also just been buzzing and hasn't gone full blown so i guess there is a plus somewhere.
Think i'm going to take myself off to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.

Jem21

12-03-16, 09:02

Sorted things out with my partner and slept quite well but woke up about half 6 to anxiety this morning :-( Managed to calm the huge anxiety down and now it's just buzzing in the background. Have a very heavy head, nose and ears this morning and i just want to lay down with my eyes closed, not really tired but feel the need to lay down and shut my eyes and this is when i start winding myself up as i don't want to do this, i want to feel ok and get on with my day. This is what leads me to googling because if i can find out what is causing this then i can fix it, i know i'm not a doctor though and i change my mind over what it could be, one minute i think sinus, then allergy, then jaw and dental problems, or even just anxiety. I know i need to stop going round in all these circles but i just don't know what the answer is. I'm caught in a vicious circle.

I'm taking my son and his friend to a huge trampoline park in Doncaster this afternoon with my mum so i'm going to make myself get up and have a shower and wash my hair and look nice and keep as busy as i can. Still think i may need an increase for the anxiety and agitation but if i'm getting this tired after 6 weeks on 30 i'm not sure if that would make it worse, and if it is the cit causing the jaw problems will it make that worse.
Questions questions and i ask myself these hundreds of times a day!!!
I'm quite a rational, laid back person so it still amazes me that i do this to myself.
Right... Lets give today a go!!!

Suziewuzie

15-03-16, 14:34

How are you feeling today Jem?
I can relate to so much of what you say! I know what you mean about the headaches/tiredness etc just make you want to go & lie down, and I too ask myself the same questions over and over all day and then end up googling myself into a frenzy!
I have put myself back on Citalopram after my horrible cold turkey experience, just want my poor brain to have a bit of stability now

Jem21

15-03-16, 15:26

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 15:34

Keep us updated on your doctor visit Jem

Jem21

15-03-16, 15:57

Not got the appointment yet... Am there tomorrow to have the bandages changed from my surgery so will make one then. My partner has said he will come with me and i'm going to write everything down first as i always come out and think 'bugger, didn't mention that.' I've got a feeling he will increase me to 40mg and i'm really worried about doing this as i've had such a hard 7 weeks from upping to the 30 that i don't know if i can face all that again to maybe feel the same. I actually feel today like i did the very first day when i went to the doctors and asked to increase. I've been though increased anxiety, agitation, tight chest, trembling, sweating, stupid tired phases, emotional blunting and manic hyper with racing thoughts... And at the end of all that i feel the same as the beginning. I do seem to be controlling the anxiety slightly better, i've felt like i have been about to go full on panic mode a few times over the last few days and i haven't so i guess that's something.
Got an appointment at the dentist on Friday as i think some of it is because of my jaw and possibly my bite is out and that is causing me to feel headaches, heavy headed, jaw ache and ear ache... I just don't know anymore, i feel like a broken record and i'm even doing my own head in.

You are at docs soon aren't you Jay?

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 16:51

I always write down what I'm experiencing the morning of my appointment because I know I will get anxious while in there and just draw blanks. Then I get angry with myself when I have walked out and realise I forgot to mention important points.
From my experience with past ad's... there is a magical dose, getting there is the hard part, just like you I fear the side effects and it's all I have been thinking about and what has been consuming me this week before my appointment tomorrow. I know I will be increased and I know after 7 weeks it's probably what I need to get closer to where I want to be.
The three times I was on paxil I need a higher dosage each time. The first time I was right as rain on 20mg, the next time I need to reach 30mg to get to a good place,the third time I got to 40mg before I felt benefit from it. Unfortunately it completely pooped out after that and I really had no other option but to change

Jem21

15-03-16, 17:18

I've been the same on cit.... first time was 10, next time was 20, then 20 again, then 25, and now this time i'm on 30.
Stopped a couple of Anxiety attacks today, just been the normal anxiety all day. Feel very flushed this afternoon with that mild headache all day and on and off agitation! The only time i feel calm is when i am laid down with my head supported and i can close my eyes.

Hope docs goes ok for you, keep me posted.

Suziewuzie

15-03-16, 17:20

Hey Suzie, i thought you were going onto mirt?

I'm going back to doctors, i'm all over the place with it at the minute and after 7 weeks on the increase i was expecting more. The no feelings thing did pass for me hun so if you get that again it does pass. xx

I took one dose of Mirt, slept for almost 16 hours and then was struggling to open my eyes all day, couldn't drive or go anywhere because I was so sleepy! I'm sure it would get better if I stuck to it but I couldn't live like that while I waited to adjust. My partners little boy sleeps over at our house a lot & I'd be too scared I wouldn't wake up or wouldn't be able to drive if there was an emergency.

So, after 5 days OFF the citalopram suddenly everyone started asking me why I'd stopped taking it because they'd noticed a big difference in me. So I just got straight back on it, and I'm sticking to it now because my body has had enough ups & downs.

Jem21

15-03-16, 18:18

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 18:31

Do yours come in capsules or tablet form?

Jem21

15-03-16, 19:21

Tablet form, I didn't know they did capsules. I know they do liquid! How about you?

Suziewuzie

15-03-16, 19:40

Well were all here for you Suzie and we'll all get through this! I hate the tiredness that's one of the worst for me! It's all just bubbling away under the surface at the minute and I feel like it could all kick off at any time, although it hasn't! Maybe as Jay said, I just need to find the magic dose although there is no way I'm doing another 10mg increase. If doc does increase the dose then I'm going to discuss going up 5 or he needs to give me something to help. I'm going to be firm lol.

Yes do be firm! My anxiety was absolutely horrendous on the weekend, my poor mum was crying because she felt so helpless but my GP just point blank refuses to prescribe diazepam. I'm a nurse & I'd never watch one of my patients suffer with anxiety like that, we'd always give a one off dose of lorazepam or something if people are really struggling.
I feel like I'm never totally honest when I see my GP, because I only have ten minutes with her and I'm always anxious I just end up skipping over everything. So i'm taking my boyfriend next time I go, as he spends the most time with me and notices my moods more.
And thank you :) it's lovely to have the support from you guys x

Jem21

15-03-16, 20:24

My partner has also said he's going to come with me. There is no way I'm increasing again without some help. Saying that when I first went on them 10 months ago he gave me Diaz and prop and I refused to take either. Wouldn't make that mistake again. Just stay strong and any side effects you may get you've had before, and if you get the emotional blunting you know that won't stay as I had it and it went. I'm relatively calm tonight, just wish I could be like this all the time! X

LiveAboveIt

15-03-16, 20:35

I dont know how you stay so strong, Jem. I feel like I just cant calm down.. My mind is always racing and worrying, as much as I try to stop and just focus on something else, it keeps me from being able to enjoy anything in life.. I keep worrying that there is something physically wrong with me that might be causing this, like thyroid problems or vitamin deficiency, because of all the crap Ive read on the damn internet.. or an even scarier idea, that this is just me now and Im stuck this way.. My girlfriend keeps reminding me that it is just the Citalopram causing my brain to be weird because Im still adjusting, but I dont know if I believe it anymore.. and then even if it is.. how much longer? What if this never goes away? Not doing well, lol. Klonopin is the only thing that helps, but never takes it away completely and I hate the thought of relying on benzos.

Jem21

15-03-16, 20:55

LiveAboveIt

15-03-16, 21:50

Everything you have listed, I thought in the first few weeks! One of my favourites is 'the cit won't work and you'll always be like this' it's just anxiety talking!! When I first increased I actually went a bit manic for a while, my thoughts were coming that fast that I couldn't even process them. I have felt like I'm climbing the walls with anxiety and my skin actually felt like it was burning! Side effects are the pits and I've had them all at one time or another! We're all stronger than we think, you are not giving up, you are on here posting and you are keeping going, that's really strong! Keep positive, you are still early days, if this dose isn't enough you can increase! You will get there!! We all will, as we have to!! We will all help each other through it :-)

Does that mean you have improved a bunch since then? I want this pill to work so badly, so I can just feel like me again. I do feel like Im climbing the walls most days, cant see a way out when Im in the grips of it.. Thank god for Klonopin, its the only thing that makes me feel atleast half normal, just wish I didnt need it because everyone says benzos are so dangerous.

Thank you so much for the support, Jem. Ive felt so incredibly alone and hopeless.

Jem21

15-03-16, 22:07

I've improved since I started, without a doubt. Having some calm evenings and my sleeping is fine, side effects have gone. Still having some anxiety during the day and the mornings are a bit rubbish. Getting some blinding headaches at the moment which are annoying, but think they are caused by my jaw so going to dentist on Friday! That would have been impossible a few weeks ago. Things are not 100% but my mind is calmer and I'm talking myself round more. Going to go back to doctors and see what he thinks. How long have you been on this dose?

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 22:40

LiveAboveIt

15-03-16, 23:07

At around week 4 my mind was racing. I couldn't even sit still I was pacing around, intrusive thoughts, looking for reassurance anywhere and everywhere. Now I just use this forum and chat away so as to distract myself from googling my life away

---------- Post added at 22:40 ---------- Previous post was at 22:40 ----------

Let's see what happens after tomorrow when my dose is increased im sure the racing thoughts will come back and I'll be bouncing off the walls

Are you still struggling with the racing thoughts, Jay? What week are you on?

---------- Post added at 18:07 ---------- Previous post was at 18:05 ----------

I've improved since I started, without a doubt. Having some calm evenings and my sleeping is fine, side effects have gone. Still having some anxiety during the day and the mornings are a bit rubbish. Getting some blinding headaches at the moment which are annoying, but think they are caused by my jaw so going to dentist on Friday! That would have been impossible a few weeks ago. Things are not 100% but my mind is calmer and I'm talking myself round more. Going to go back to doctors and see what he thinks. How long have you been on this dose?

Im so happy to hear that youre getting better, Jem. Im sure everything will continue on that parh, I look forward to being there also.

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 23:12

My racing thoughts and low mood went in week 5 but so far the medication hadn't touched my all day anxiety (week 7)

LiveAboveIt

15-03-16, 23:16

My racing thoughts and low mood went in week 5 but so far the medication hadn't touched my all day anxiety (week 7)

Thats always a positive that it has improved. Do you feel that the racing thoughts were brought on by the medication due to adjustment? I have a feeling thing will get better for tou, considering other things have improved. What does your anxiety feel like? Is it just physical symptoms/buzzing, or thought based?

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 23:20

LiveAboveIt

15-03-16, 23:25

Racing thoughts are definately a side effect of medication adjusting, they will go in time although I'm sure they will return for a little bit as a side effect of any dose increase.
My anxiety is an irritating buzzing through out my body that makes me feel extremely tired, makes it hard to want to go out and be social because have a constant feeling of discomfort, very much like a constant nervous feeling that makes me sick in my stomach although nothing to be nervous or anxious about. I'm almost certain that 20mg was enough to get me out of a low mood but more of this medication is required to help tackle the anxiety

Thank you for the assurance, buddy. The racing thoughts are my worst symptom and it terrifies me. I can relate to the uncomfortable buzzing youre speaking about. I used to have that before my anxiety went full blown when I was off of medication.. the good news is that symptom is like the last stage of recovery and I think a bit of a dose increase will do well for you. You ever try an epsom salt baths, I hear they are pretty amazing at calming your central nervous system.

Jaysmd

15-03-16, 23:29

LiveAboveIt

15-03-16, 23:37

When off meds my anxiety is not as bad, but depression is the main issue. I think the intense anxiety I experience is still a side effect of medication, unfortunately some of us are the ones that medications take months to work for.
I do have salt baths, I wish it was as easy and simple as a bath lol! I would be the happiest man alive

Yeah, Ive never tried it, but always thought it was probably too good to be true. Theres not really anything you can do about medication induced anxiety, is there? I know they say to accept it and not worry, but.. I imagine that only makes it go away in specific cases. I think its always been meds that helped me, and then coping skills to keep it from returning. Is that how its supposed to work?

Suziewuzie

16-03-16, 09:25

Liveaboveit - what are your racing thoughts like? Do you think about anything specifically?
For me it's normally a loop of "I'm going crazy/no it's just a side effect of the pills/I want to feel normal again/what if there's something wrong with me" over and over! If I'm home alone and it gets unbearable then I listen to guided meditations, it gives me complete relief from it for 30 minutes & I cant recommend it enough.
Last night it really got me down though. Was just having dinner with my boyf and watching films, and just thought I can't do this any more, pretend to be normal while it's utter chaos in my mind, and ended up sobbing my heart out to him. It's hard for the people close to me because outwardly I look OK most of the time, and I think that's why it's such an isolating illness.

Bramwell1

16-03-16, 09:35

I was out of my mind with anxiety on Saturday night Suzie - all due to the Citalopram 'poisoning'.
Personally I'll take anxiety and depression any day compared to how I felt on the cit.

Suziewuzie

16-03-16, 10:03

I had the anxious thoughts & panic attacks prior to starting Citalopram so I'm confident it's not that. It hasn't improved vastly just yet but it has definitely improved somewhat.

Bramwell1

16-03-16, 10:07

That's good. I hope it works for you. I did feel I was getting better for the first three or four weeks but then just went down.

Jem21

16-03-16, 13:14

Jay this is exactly how I am at the minute, constant buzzing anxiety and horrible tummy, also feeling tired and low motivation, my mood is better though. I know I need to increase but I really hate the thought of all the side effects again. I wish I of gone straight to 40 from 20 rather than the 30 now least I'd of got them out the way in one go!

LiveAboveIt

16-03-16, 13:40

Jaysmd

16-03-16, 15:13

Now you got me thinking jem. Don't know if doctor will put me from 20-40mg. He might see it as to much of a jump

Jem21

16-03-16, 16:25

It's hard to say, my doc wanted me to go 20 to 40 but i told him no... I did this in case the 30 was enough but i'm not sure it is, so now i'm thinking i have to go through all this again and i kinda wish i'd just gone to 40mg.

Just on another note we got talking about anxiety at work today and 4 people in my office are on Citalopram ... One on 20mg, me on 30mg and 2 on 40mg. Would never have known, just goes to show it's more common than you think.

Bramwell1

16-03-16, 16:42

Blimey, that's an incredibly worrying statistic if applied to the whole country of just people of working age.

Suziewuzie

16-03-16, 16:55

I'm a nurse and out of the 12 patients I look after (there's 32 on the ward) there's always at least two people on it. It's incredibly common. I've never given anything less than 40mg though - didn't even know it came in 10 & 20mg until I started on it!

---------- Post added at 16:55 ---------- Previous post was at 16:51 ----------

We also have LOADS of people on long term diazepam. Until I started posting on here I had no clue that benzos were seen as so bad. Loads of my patients are on twice daily diazepam.

Jem21

16-03-16, 17:02

Crazy isn't it, I had no idea. It seems quite a lot are on the higher dose as well.

Not had any mad anxiety today, buzzing anxiety and that horrible heavy feeling in tummy, feel tired too but not exhausted like at the beginning. Docs next week and i'll see what he suggests

Jaysmd

16-03-16, 17:24

A lot of people I know are on an ssri of some kind, they don't look into things and research like me for example so they get a much quicker result. Stoopid brain of mine

Jem21

16-03-16, 17:25

Yep, i'm guilty of that! You at docs today Jay?

Bramwell1

16-03-16, 17:28

My mum was on Valium for 25+ years when I was a kid before being moved onto something else which I forget the name of. She had severe restless legs syndrome.
I was only small but I don't recall her having any start-up side effects and she liked a good drink too!
My brain feels a lot clearer today as I'm detoxing from the cit. Day four of cold turkey. I still can't hold anything much down beyond water and a few grapes and keep retching off and on.

Jaysmd

16-03-16, 17:48

I'm at the docs in a couple of hours! Nervous nervous
My new girlfriend is on Prozac and she takes a benzo of some kind just to sleep and she has been taking it for 7+ years. She is doing well though... Just has a dependency now

Jem21

16-03-16, 18:55

LiveAboveIt

17-03-16, 00:50

I always forget about the time difference! I'm interested to see what he suggests!
At least your girlfriend has an idea what you are going through, I am getting the 'you are so much better' stuff from my partner which I'm sure they think everything must be ok now as I'm not sobbing every 5 minutes and climbing the walls

Mine is saying the same. Everyone seems to see an improvement, but I feel like I'm going absolutely mental inside. >_< Sometimes I wish I could cry more for that release, but it ends up coming in the form of panic.

I had no idea so many people were on antidepressants.

Jem21

17-03-16, 07:33

Well today is the start of week 7 on the increased dose of 30mg of these bad boys and I really thought I'd be sorted by now!
The anxiety isn't horrific, it just bubbles under the surface and I seem to be able to stop it going full blown. The worst thing now is that it seems to be a horrible tight heavy feeling in my tummy that is there for most of the day. I'm also carrying so much tension it's untrue especially in my face which is causing some blinding headaches especially down the left side, can't also get my jaw in a comfortable position. Don't feel depressed as such but my motivation has seriously done one and my bed could quite happily become my best friend. Not looking forward to anything and my enjoyment seems to have run off with my motivation. (If anyone finds them please send them home ASAP because it's really winding me up and causing a bit of agitation) don't feel exhausted but bed time has become my favourite time of the day and could quite happily be there as soon as I get in from work.
Really think I'm going to have to go to 40 but have really been putting it off as I don't want to go through the manic hyper racing thoughts and wanting to burst out of my body phase and the I'm going to sit and stare at the wall and you could steal my shoe collection and I wouldn't care phase or even the get me to the bed before I fall asleep standing up phase!

Oh the joys!!
My plan at the moment is dentist tomorrow and then doctors on Monday as I can't carry on like this. Me and google are on far friendlier terms than is really healthy and I'm still over analysing and trying to think my way out of it all.

All this and it's not even 8am!!
Right over and out for now and I'll update later.

R1CH

17-03-16, 11:17

Hi Jem

Stick with it you're doing well!. I cannot believe how lucky I've been (I don't mean to gloat) but I feel really great, the last 2 days I have gone completely off any benzos and I'm only on day 4. I feel this is impossible and something is just not right. I have enjoyed seeing my boys, booked trips up and I've been chatty to everyone, I am starting to feel my old self again. The only thing I can put this down to is that I still had elevated levels of Serotonin in my brain from the imipramine I was tapering off. I cannot believe this personally and hope I don't crash. Maybe I am bi polar Lol.

Stay off that Google it'll do you no good, I thought I died once :D

Good luck and keep your chin up!

Rich

:bighug1:

Jem21

17-03-16, 11:26

Hey Rich, i'm really pleased for you and long may it continue.

Google is a nightmare and i'm trying not to go there, not done it today (yet) lol.
How can one person carry so much tension, it's totally untrue. Felt quite calm this morning, not motivated but fairly calm. Came into work and we have a lad that works with us who is a nightmare, got myself really wound up and stressed out and then the anxiety started again. Seem to be calming down a bit now. There just seems to be stress everywhere. I need a big field with a tent... and my bed of course haha.

R1CH

17-03-16, 11:34

HaHa its more addictive than benzos!

It's good you can still work through this, last time when I couldn't even leave the house it was awful and I'm sure this delayed my recovery.

I have a headache now and I can feel the tablet kicking in but in the grand scheme of things I'm over the moon about that.

Hope your day gets better!

Rich

:bighug1:

Jem21

17-03-16, 11:56

R1CH

17-03-16, 12:13

In all honesty Rich I don't know how I am coping at work. On one hand it keeps me busy and gets me out of the house and on the other it brings stress. Last time I was like this I went and stated at my mums round the corner whereas this time I've stayed at home which is more stressful as there is tea to cook, washing, ironing, kids to look after ect... I'm considering a trip to my mums if I increase lol

Lol, mums are great, my mum has been my rock since my divorce, which caused all these issues. Yes I can imagine and kids especially, my 2 boys live with their mum but I had them last night. I am lucky as they are pretty good and they have enjoyed seeing their dad happy for once. I have tried to hide my issues from my kids but when you're feeling so emotional its really difficult. Its a double edged sword! when I was starting on my imipramine I took 3 weeks off work and it drove me up the wall, I had nothing to do in my silly head but really I had loads of stuff to do its just that I didn't want to do it.

Hope your day is going better and you haven't punched anyone yet lol

Rich:bighug1:

Jem21

17-03-16, 12:34

I've calmed down a bit now its just agitation and tension and feeling flushed and no one has been harmed up to now lol My son is 12 and i do my best to hide it from him. My nan is great and i often vent to her. My son goes to his dads every other weekend so i'm plannig lots of sleep and relaxing this weekend :-)

R1CH

17-03-16, 12:52

Book yourself into a Spa, I might just do that now I am feeling more up to it! :)

:bighug1:

Jem21

17-03-16, 13:01

Check you out with you spa treatments lol
I'd settle for my bed and the view of the sunshine outside... Easily please me haha

Jem21

17-03-16, 20:08

Getting really knacked off with it all now! Had underlining anxiety all day, horrible feeling in tummy I'm so tense it's ridiculous and I just don't know how to make it better. I just feel worn out with it all. Got doctors booked for Tuesday and I'm defo going to have to increase, I'm so worried the cit isn't going to work for me this time and I'm never going to get better!

LiveAboveIt

17-03-16, 21:05

You will get better, Jem. Everything is temporary, no matter how bad it seems. Anxiety gets us stuck in the moment and causes us to worry about the future.

Jem21

17-03-16, 21:21

LiveAboveIt

17-03-16, 21:30

I feel like my mind is separated from it all, it's hard to describe how I feel, it's like my body is screaming at me and there is all this tension but my mind has just shut down and I can't even cry! I don't know how to explain it.

I can absolutely relate to that feeling, it will pass. You sound like you need a good massage or bath, something to help relax you.

Jem21

17-03-16, 21:48

I'm now thinking these are the wrong tablets for me... I'm so tired but can't sleep, I've tried laying down to sleep about 4 times and 10 minutes later I'm sat up again! I think I'm just running on empty, all I've eaten today is a bag of crisps as I can't face food. I don't actually talk to anyone about this I just post on here. My partner and eldest are out at rugby and my little one is in bed... Not that I'd talk to him about it. I've been sleeping fine, it's like my bed has been my calm place but certainly not tonight!

Nzxt27

17-03-16, 22:01

I hope you can get some sleep. I went through a faze of Bly getting any sleep for almost a week it sucked.

LiveAboveIt

17-03-16, 22:15

Its just the stress, Jem. Hang in there, sometimes sleep is difficult to come by after a bad day, I go through that too. Dont give up on the pills just yet!:hugs:

Jem21

18-03-16, 02:29

2:30 in the morning and still awake... My body won't relax, not from anxiety but my body just feels like it's locked in full tension! I'm tired but my jaw is clenched in one position and my whole body seems to follow and I can't stop it!
My mind is calm though! I'm exhausted. I'm sure this isn't right after 7 weeks. Never been like this on cit before ever. Also feel really sick.

Don't think it helps that my partner is snoring his head off... Think I'm going to go get in with my little one!

LiveAboveIt

18-03-16, 02:37

I have such a hard time sleeping when my partner is snoring, lol. So I can totally relate to that. I wish you luck with sleep, insomnia is a pain.

Jem21

18-03-16, 02:48

Never had insomnia before, I've always slept really well. 7 weeks in and I would have thought side effects should have passed, I've done cit 4 or 5 times before and always been well by this point and never still had side effects still at this stage.

My partner is going to get a pillow over his face in a minute lol

Nzxt27

18-03-16, 03:20

Lol. What the soonest you think someone got better on this stuff. Like how many weeks? I know everyone is different

LiveAboveIt

18-03-16, 03:35

I dont know, Jem. I'm still struggling with the constant feeling of lethargy and being tired/spaced out from the Citalopram. I always heard these disappear in the first 1-2 weeks or so, so I'm a little stressed about it as well.

---------- Post added at 22:35 ---------- Previous post was at 22:35 ----------

Lol. What the soonest you think someone got better on this stuff. Like how many weeks? I know everyone is different

It can be anywhere from Week 3 to Month 2, from what I've read. Depends on how deep your depression/anxiety is, I think.

Nzxt27

18-03-16, 03:47

Yeah I wish I saw more success stories on them. I don't want to take something that can make my health worse or anything. As you can tell I never been big on taking pills

Jem21

18-03-16, 07:44

I think you don't see loads of success stories because once people are well they don't come on here anymore. It's just the people that need support that are on here.

Pretty much no sleep last night which is a first for me and constant panic and jaw clenching all night. Sick of this now!

---------- Post added at 07:44 ---------- Previous post was at 06:36 ----------

My partner is ringing doctors to get my appointment moved forward to today. It's like I've just become obsessed with the whole thing. I think I am going to go over to my nans for the weekend. She lives in the countryside, no phone reception, long walks ect...

Not a clue what the doctor will do or how I'm going to get through work as I'm running on empty but I'll update later. Hope you all have a good day

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 10:27

How's everyone doing today?
Jem that sounds lush :)

Jem21

19-03-16, 12:47

Hey all, well, went to doctors and it was a different one! She was really nice though and quite hardcore (didn't get a hug though Jay lol)

She suggested a more sedating med which I imagined would be mirt and after reading what it did to you Suzie I said I didn't fancy that. I thought she was going to take me off cit but she has augmented it with pregabalin at the lowest dose once in the morning then at tea time. I've been really good and not researched it and I'm staying off google. Took the first one as soon as I got home then drove over to my nans. It's was fantastic for the anxiety and agitation but I was totally knackered. Went to bed at half 9 and slept right through to half 6. Got up made a drink felt a bit spacey and achy then went back to bed and slept till half 9. Felt knackered when I got up but i had my preg made myself get ready and we went out to the shop felt pants on the way there but had woken up by the time we got back. I decided to drive home as were going out for a meal for my eldest birthday tonight with family.

Got to go back and see her in 2 weeks so she can see how I'm doing. She said we can then decide if we want to reduce the cit or increase the preg! She was a bit scary but I must admit she seemed to know her stuff and I didn't feel rushed. I'm going to do my best to keep busy and see how this goes!

Suzie - how are you doing back on the cit?

Live - how you doing Hun?

Jay- how you doing and how was the basketball?

Rich - how are you and have you been for your spa yet, lol?

Nzxt27

19-03-16, 12:51

That's good to hear. I just started 20mg cit but I'm thinking of cutting the pills in half for now. Might help being I've oy slept 5 hours so far. And I'm on day 1.

Jem21

19-03-16, 13:19

Hey Nzxt, I've started on both 10 and 20 before and it's a tough one to call. It was a much easier start on 10 but then after 2-3 weeks I went trough it again with the increase. It's a hard start on 20 and I was climbing the walls but I only had to do it the once. Everyone is different. I always take mine In the morning when I start because of the insomnia, my doctor gave me zopiclone to help me sleep for the first week as it's so much harder with no sleep so if that becomes an issue maybe ask for something to help. Just keep your chin up and remember the side effects are temporary.

Jaysmd

19-03-16, 13:31

Being on holiday is doing me good. haven't noticed any side effects from dose increase, I guess I'm too busy being a tourist and that's distracting me! Didn't need any klonopin at all yesterday. It's all still at the back of my mind though and there is a fear that once I'm back to reality it will all come rushing back.

The game was awesome! My team lost but it was such an experience and one I may not get to have again so really made the most of it!

Jem21

19-03-16, 13:50

Glad you enjoyed the game and good for you making the most of the break. I think it's normal to be worried about coming back but tell yourself you'll deal with it when and if it happens and enjoy yourself.

Jaysmd

19-03-16, 13:57

How's everyone else doing

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 14:40

Ah Jem that all sounds really positive! Great that you saw a new doctor with a new approach really. Great that youre resisting the urge to Google things, I have tonnes of patients on pregablin in varying strengths & genuinley have only heard good things about it. I really hope it works for you!
I'm a lot happier now that I'm back on Cit & won't be rushing to come off it again. Anxiety is heaps better, I still carry it round with me every day but it's easier to ignore now & I have actually accepted it now and am going to get myself back to work at the end of the month.
Had my first counselling session yesterday which wasn't at all helpful!

Nzxt27

19-03-16, 14:42

Is one the side effects upset stomach? I have diarea this morning.

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 14:45

There's a tonne of possible side effects & you'll probably find that you notice every physical symptom more now as well. I find that I have loose stools every morning since being on it but I think that's also because my anxiety is worse in the morning so my stomach churns x

Nzxt27

19-03-16, 14:53

Yeah I have already been to the bathroom twice this morning.

Jem21

19-03-16, 15:02

I'm like that every morning but I think it's anxiety or side effects. I always think anything I don't get normally must be a side effect.

Glad you are feeling brighter Suzie, what was up with the therapy?

I'm certainly going to give this new one ago but without the horrible anxiety and heavy tummy it's a lot easier to push yourself. Made myself go shopping with my nan this morning, she did buy me a new bag and shoes though bless her as she said she hates seeing me poorly as she calls it. Also came home and washed my hair, the first time in about a week as I was feeling that bad. Put some washing on, had a tidy round, and I'm going to go for a walk this afternoon as I think the excessive and fresh air will do me good. Then out for tea tonight!
Also booked to go away in the caravan for a few days over my birthday in 2 weeks with my parents and youngest son and his friend then the weekend after my partner has said he is taking me away for the weekend, I'm glad I have things planned to look forward to. Not sure if I went back to work too soon so I think I'm going to have next week off but I will see how I go. I'm nowhere near there yet but better than the last few days so I will take that as a positive and build on it.

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 15:10

Oh my god you're having a really productive day, that puts mine to shame! You sound like you're totally nailing it to be honest. I think I need to plan some nice, relaxed things to look forward to as it's all doom and gloom right now.
Oh the counselling! Well I went with an open mind & thought it'll probably do me good to talk about things - I lost my dad a few years ago & had cancer & other bits and bobs which I thought were probably worth discussing. But she just said that I didn't make eye contact with people (I know I don't, it's an anxious thing) and told me to practise making eye contact with loved ones, and then my colleagues and she'll see me in a month :roflmao:

Nzxt27

19-03-16, 15:14

But if I decide too I can cut the 20mg pills in half for 10mg right? I'm tempted too because I already can't sleep. And I love to sleep.

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 15:21

I only take 10mg and it stopped me from sleeping for about 3 weeks. I don't think taking a lower or higher dose makes much difference to sleep x

Nzxt27

19-03-16, 15:29

Well I'm hoping to get off pills I don't like taking pills.

Jem21

19-03-16, 15:34

I didn't sleep to start with regardless of the dose. Why don't you call the chemist and ask them. I've cut mine in half before with a pill cutter but I'd never advise someone else to do it. You should check with your doc!

That sounds a bit pants Suzie, is it through the nhs, can you change her? I'd give it a go though if it's something you don't really do. I'm not great in groups where I don't know many people and when my youngest started playing football I would stand by myself. One day I just went over and started talking to them and though bugger it... They were all really nice and made me think that sometimes I have to make the effort and not care what people think of me. You've got this!!!

Nzxt27

19-03-16, 15:48

Did you have any issues when you cut your pills? I can't imagine anything would be different besides your getting half the dose.

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 16:08

You sound like youre doing great, Jem. I am really happy for you. I had a decent night last night and this morning isnt too bad either. Had a bit of an anxiety attack this morning that made my breathing feel wonky and had a little bit of ache in my chest along with dizzyness. Initially I worried that the Citalopram was doing something to my heart, but I chalked it up to anxiety and it eventually went away.

My bigger struggle is that when I actively notice myself thinking about the anxiety (which is all day, if Im honest) I seem to struggle because I made it a trigger. Instead of seeing it as just anxiety and a symptom, I turned it into a big deal so now its habit to distress when I catch myself in a thought process about it. Im trying to just label it as an anxiety symptom so as to strip away some fear from it as suggested by another NMP member, but this takes time right?

---------- Post added at 11:05 ---------- Previous post was at 10:49 ----------

Is one the side effects upset stomach? I have diarea this morning.

I have this too, it seems to worsen with increased anxiety, but it is improving.

---------- Post added at 11:08 ---------- Previous post was at 11:05 ----------

But if I decide too I can cut the 20mg pills in half for 10mg right? I'm tempted too because I already can't sleep. And I love to sleep.

I had issues with sleep before I got on the Citalopram, but Ive noticed this has actually improved after being on them for a couple weeks. I do still tend to wake up a ton throughout the night, but Im usually able to go back to sleep. I still have trouble sleeping during the day though, but I imagine this will improve with the anxiety.

Jem21

19-03-16, 16:09

The thing is live you will think about it because it's become a habit. As you start to feel better it will start to lose it's fear and it won't worry you as you will be able to ignore it to the point it goes completely

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 16:11

Well I'm hoping to get off pills I don't like taking pills.

There is nothing wrong with being on pills, especially if they make you feel better. They are totally safe.

---------- Post added at 11:11 ---------- Previous post was at 11:09 ----------

The thing is live you will think about it because it's become a habit. As you start to feel better it will start to lose it's fear and it won't worry you as you will be able to ignore it to the point it goes completely

Does the medication inevitably do this on its own with time? Doing my best to go about my day and not be afraid, I feel like an anxiety novice, lol.

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 16:17

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 16:33

It's different for everyone Live, Jem can tell you how it worked for her but then that might just make you feel worse when you don't feel that way.

We all have different levels of anxiety, different breaking points & different tolerances so we will all have really unique experiences. I'm 100% better than I was 6 weeks ago but how do I know that's not just down to sheer willpower & determination? I feel better now than I did 6 weeks ago and I know the citalopram has helped that but I also know a lot of it is down to me too and my attitude toward the anxiety. It's not a magic pill & I don't think anyone just wakes up feeling better one day, but it just cushions the blow of anxiety while we learn to tolerate it and then hopefully eventually let it go.
I actually think I would freak the hell out if I woke up one morning & felt amazing and back to normal! X

Thats a really good point, Suzie. I do notice that my attitude has changed quite a bit towards the anxiety. I was afraid that I was psychotic or going crazy because I couldnt control my thoughts or fear. Im learning that you can control your reaction, though.. And at first even this terrified me because I couldnt make myself unafraid immediately with this knowledge, so I automatically assumed I was a lost cause and just stuck this way.. but Im slowly learning.

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 16:40

You are, so give yourself credit. So what if we feel anxious? It hasn't killed us or hurt us before and it won't start now. I had to explain to my counsellor yesterday why I had been referred, and honestly when I was sat there explaining it I thought This is RIDICULOUS! It sounds so minor and not important when you say it out loud. So we have anxiety, and what? It's not the anxiety that's ruining our lives is how much time were spending thinking about it and letting it dictate what we can and can't do! X

Jem21

19-03-16, 17:03

Go Suzie lol... That's totally right though! It's about standing up to it even though it's scary and saying... Right I'm off to the shop, or out for tea or wherever and saying, you can come with me if you want as I'm going anyway! The tablets help you do this. The pill doesn't just magic it all away, as a doctor I saw once said, it helps you see the woods through the trees! Or something like that lol

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 17:17

So true! Lol I totally do that too "Come along if you want, I don't care".
I see AD's as something to just give me the strength to actually listen to my inner voice that's telling me all of these positive, strong messages - you can't always hear them because of the anxiety but the pills definitely quiten down the anxious voice & I believe the rest is up to me. Anxiety may be unpleasant and I may very much like to get rid of it, but in the meantime I will learn to live with it.
Honestly if I woke up tomorrow and was "cured" I would actually feel anxious about that! Small steps are the way forward for me, definitely.

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 17:50

Strange question that I dont want to create an entirely new thread about.. Can Citalopram cause cognitive issues of sorts? I notice my mind will randomly go blank and I feel stuck or trapped inside my head and I cant think straight. This is usually coupled with tunnel vision, blurred vision, and dizzyness/heavy behind the eyes and is always followed up with by a dull ache in the back of my head and leaves me feeling kind of spaced out and tired. This happens randomly throughout the day.

Its a little terrifying when it happens and Im not used to this, does this happen to anyone else?

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 17:59

Yeah. I get all that too.

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 18:14

Is this just a startup effect or something ya just gotta deal with when being on Citalopram?

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 18:26

Citalopram headaches seem to be notorious but they are getting less. I try not to focus on my symptoms too much so it's hard to remember how often it happens. Tunnel vision, blurred vision & dizziness is something I've always had because of anxiety, it's only slightly worse since going on citalopram. The forgetfulness / mind blanks also came when the anxiety got bad and might have got slightly worse since starting the meds or it might just be that I notice things more.

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 18:30

Ah okay, I was wondering if I wasnt just letting my anxiety run away with it. Anxiety gives me really bad tunnel vision and makes me feel stuck in thought, for sure. I imagine this goes away with the anxiety, because I dont recall having this issue when not in an anxious state.

Jem21

19-03-16, 19:08

Suzie I think I'm going to name mine, I might call him Travis lol.
Then Travis can come with me or stay at home, up to him (you'll see I've made it a man lol) but I'm doing it anyway!

LiveAboveIt

19-03-16, 19:15

I wish I could be where you ladies are at right now, lol. I feel so afraid of the fact that I have anxiety and feel so surreal, and I have no idea why. Dont know if its the meds just causing random fear or my subconscious, but I hope it takes that away so I can go back to just feeling uncomfortable. This feeling afraid of everything is pointless and tiresome. Is it just taking my brain time to catch up to the fact that everything is okay? I feel a little crazy. Side note: Are you having an affair with Travis?! :P

Jem21

19-03-16, 21:38

You're going to get there live... Have you upped to 30 yet?

Haha not an affair as such as I don't actually like 'Travis' although he seems to follow me around a lot :-P

Suziewuzie

19-03-16, 21:39

I still have awful anxiety, I haven't been at work for almost 2 months & sometimes I can't leave my house and I can't even be around my boyfriend without feeling intense fear. I just refuse to let it get me down - as much as I can anyway! I still have plenty of days where I sit and sob and hate the world. But I read a lot of Claire Weekes & have my anxiety app and they just drill into me that I can't let it stop me from doing things, I track all of my days & it fills me with hope when I can see on paper that I haven't had a panic attack for X amount of days and I've managed to go out & do certain things.
Oh and my anxiety would DEFINITELY be named after a man!!

Jem21

19-03-16, 21:50

I've read Claire Weeks books and I also had her cassette tapes lol, that's why I always try to accept and float. I've done that many a times while the anxiety has been bad and I'm trying to sleep. Floating is pretty good! The preg takes away a lot of the physical anxiety and agitation but I know it's there underneath. Well we went to Pizza Hut and I think I ate my body weight in pizza, also had a salad bar though mine was just full of those bacon bits! Now in my pyjamas feeling stuffed! Still got the clenching jaw which is giving me constant face pain and headaches. It's driving me nuts!

Jem21

20-03-16, 09:50

Good morning campers, how is everyone this morning?

Done some thinking and research this morning... Yes I know I shouldn't but it's been nagging me for a while and it was getting silly.

Ok so since upping the cit 7 and a half weeks ago what's improved? My mood most defo, I don't think I suffer depression, my mind is in a much better place, I'm doing the things I should be doing but I'm still not right. So then I thought what isn't right, all the things that are bothering me now are things that I didn't have before upping the dose, or got worse since then. Constant jaw clenching, to the point it's all day I am constantly having to relax this on and off for the whole day. This is causing headaches down one side of my face, my ear hurts, and my left eye feels droopy. My shoulda are also tense and my left arm clenches into a fist when I don't notice, causing it to feel week. My body also seems to have tremors that are not anxiety as such. All the side effects from the cit have passed and I feel like I should be better.

So off I went on my research mission (my partner will most likely kill me when he finds out so if you don't hear from me that's why lol) and I've found that SSRIs can suppress dopamine which has a knock on effect on our motor control, which causes everything that is happening to me!!

Apparently these side effects go away on lowering dose, my next thought was what if I need an ad though... So here comes the SNRI which is a different class and also effects dopamine or something like that! Venlafaxine is an SSRI.

So here's my plan, I want to reduce the cit and see how I go, and if I need to I'd like to try ven. Sounds good to me but I'll have to speak to the doctor.

I'm hoping 'mynameisterry' reads this as he's pretty up on all this stuff.

Right there's my offload this morning, just need to see what the grinch thinks when he stops snoring and gets his but out of bed!

Till later... Jemma, aka (crazyresearchlady)

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 10:56

Good morning crazy research lady! I do all my best research before 10am too.
Well, it's good that your mood has increased. If the side effects haven't shifted at all & are really getting you down then it's always worth talking about changing to an SNRI but I agree Terry is your best bet here.
I still get the jaw clenching and find that I have to remind myself every few minutes to relax my face, I definitely get more headaches on this. But otherwise, after 5 weeks on 10mg I can't really complain about side effects. So maybe lower doses do have lower side effects? But they may also be less effective for the good stuff too so I suppose that's where your gp (and Terry!) Come in. Are you still taking the pregablin?
I'm still struggling with mornings and still feeling a bit emotionally numb but otherwise I think I'm doing OK, just getting a bit depressed as I have very little to do with my days while I'm off work. I FINALLY have my telephone assessment for CBT tomorrow so that will be interesting.

Jem21

20-03-16, 11:21

Shame you don't live near me Suzie as we could meet up during the day and discuss crazy research lol.
Well the grinch is awake and he sat and listened to my research and was very supportive (who'd have guessed) and suggested I ring the doctor on Monday and make an appointment to discuss! I also have a cbt telephone assessment but not till the 6th April so you'll have to let me know how it goes.

Something must be changing with me though as I've done 5 loads of washing already this morning, was going to start the ironing but the grinch has suggested watching Vikings in bed and I'm easily swayed lol

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 12:04

Lol I know, that would be brilliant! I'm not sure where you are, I'm in Manchester.
I'm having a semi productive day too. We've just moved house & for the first couple of weeks I was completely BLURGH about it and haven't bothered to make it pretty so am finally doing some online shopping for bits and unpacking all of the boxes. If my boyfriend was off work we would most definitely be eating toast and watching boxsets in bed right now.

Jaysmd

20-03-16, 12:40

Jem, effexor that you mentioned earlier worked very well for me. The only problem is, it's the hardest to get off. Even tapering was hell and pain for many months

Jem21

20-03-16, 12:44

I'm Hull so sadly not just round the corner :-(

I've moved from the bed to the sofa although still not dressed yet, I jaw clenched all the way through Vikings and can now feel the heavy head and achy neck coming on which makes me feel tired and want to lay down. Not fair!!

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 12:49

Oh no :( just tell yourself that today is definitely going to be a lazy Sunday then with lots of cuddles and sympathy xx

LiveAboveIt

20-03-16, 13:17

Hey Jem, Im currently in the process of reducing my Cit dose, as well. Using a pill cutter to taper down to 15mg for now. I also suffer from the constant jaw clenching as well as feeling completely spaced out and on another planet. Have you ever tried Sertraline? Ive read that some prefer it over Cit for anxiety as it is a little more sedating, I also hear it has some way of increasing dopamine, but youll have to ask Terry about that one.

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 13:28

I've been on Sertraline 3 times if you need to pick my brain x

LiveAboveIt

20-03-16, 13:39

Did Sert work well for your anxiety, what made you switch?

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 13:50

I was first on it about 7 years ago for anxiety & mild depression, stayed on it about 18 months, had really good effect.
Panic attacks started happening again about 2/3 years later so I went back on it again with good effect. My anxiety was much milder back then though.
When my panic attacks started again this time I had no hesitation in going to my GP & saying I wanted to go back on it. The first week on it is very tough & I knew that, but this time it was off the scale tough. It massively suppresses your appetite at the beginning which is great. But no, I couldn't tolerate it this time for some unknown reason. My anxiety went to intolerable heights, I didn't leave my flat in days, I used to lie awake googling things about being sectioned and being schizophrenic, I didnt eat I didn't sleep, I had constant depersonalisation and I started to believe I would be better off dead. So after 11 days I got switched to Citalopram x

LiveAboveIt

20-03-16, 13:58

Wow, that sounds like my experience with Citalopram. Im no doubt getting better slowly, I can feel it.. just suffering from the same side effects about 5 weeks in, so hoping that maybe reducing my dose will help me with that. Im not too keen on the idea of switching ADs just yet, but worried that Im stuck with the SEs. I had a choice to either increase to 30mg or drop to 10mg. It feels like I have way more side effects each new time I start taking Citalopram. Just feel tired and on another planet, bad brain fog and short term memory issues.

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 14:24

I was gutted that I couldn't hack Sertaline this time because it worked well in the past. But as soon as I switched I felt a million times better. I'm a long way from being cured but after a weeks on Cit I feel a lot lot better.

Jem21

20-03-16, 14:51

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 15:15

Was having a perfectly lovely day until I ventured to the supermarket & then I felt all spaced out and floaty as usual, not anxious just like "I'm going to fall over" and fuzzy eyes. Why does that happen :(

LiveAboveIt

20-03-16, 16:22

I think sert is the same class as cit so might give me the same problems, ven is a different class I think. Also read about augmenting with buspar as that's meant to be good for jaw.

Am defo going to start reducing the cit though.
Why are you reducing live?

Im having trouble with the side effects, atleast I think they are side effects as I dont remember having all of them before the pill.

Always super tired, Dizzyness, heavyness behind the eyes, jaw clenching, diarrhea, Blurried vision, brain fog, trouble focusing or concentrating, bad short term memory, feeling spaced out like Im on another planet, I can be talking someone right infront if me and it feels like they are miles away, and sometimes it feels like I cant think straight.

I told my Psychiatrist about the constant grogginess, so he told me to start taking it at night before bed. Ive done this, but still feel this way all day. Not sure what else to do. I still leave the house and go places, but I always feel so spaced out like nothing is real.

Is it possible that these are just all anxiety symptoms? Last night I lowered my dose to 15mg and Im pretty sure I missed my dose the night before.. I was alright yesterday, but after reducing the dose by 5mg I feel awfully agitated and my mind is whirling. Is this all in my head? O.o

Jem21

20-03-16, 18:21

I don't know Suzie but it's horrible, actually similar here.

I was on it this morning, felt positive then I came over all tired, my body felt like lead and my brain went tired, I had to drag myself round Sainsburys came home and had a lie down. I now feel really nauseous. :-(

Live it's really hard to say, I'd go with whatever your psych says as they are the experts on this.

---------- Post added at 18:21 ---------- Previous post was at 16:46 ----------

I am sick and tired of going round in circles!
I am sick and tired of trying to find out what's wrong with me!
I am sick and tired that there is actually no one 'proper' to speak to about this... You get 5 mins with the doctor and what can you really explain then!
I am sick and tired of having questions and no one having the answer!
Why is it if you break your arm you go to A&E and have access straight away, but if you have some kind of mental problem, it takes weeks and weeks to get any help!
Had my preg at 5 and that has took away a lot of the agitation that came on this afternoon. I was so positive and clear headed this morning and knew exactly what I was going to do, then bam out of nowhere my body feels like lead and I'm dragging it around, I get face pressure and mild headache and feel so sluggish and it kicks all the agitation off! I have permanent jaw clenching so most people think I'm smiling strangely at them, a blocked left ear and nose and a half completely useless left arm as it feels so week!
I'm sick and tired of googling to try and find out what's wrong!
I'm pretty sure I'm not a hyperchrondriac (who knows though lol)
I was adamant that reducing my dose was the right thing this morning then after my episode this afternoon I'm scared to!

Jemma (sickandtiredlady)

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 18:37

Aw nooo Jem :(
Stop googling for a while. All the nasty things you are feeling is a mixture of medication side effects, getting used to the pregablin & then they're probably getting worse because it's all making you anxious. Don't let this crap day knock you down x
I know it's so frustrating that its so hard to get proper help for things like this. You were super positive this morning so it's not a totally wasted day x

Jem21

20-03-16, 19:13

I know I was and I'm staying positive even if it's scary! It's more agitation than anxiety as I'm getting knacked off with it all. I'll get there, I always have before so I will again. Thanks for the kind words Hun. Wish Hull was a bit nearer to Manchester, be great to have a fruit loop buddy... Lol x

Suziewuzie

20-03-16, 20:24

Oh I know, we could really egg each other on!
Well tomorrow is a new day guys :) so fingers crossed it's a better day for everyone x

Jem21

20-03-16, 20:42

You are so right... Tomorrow is another day :-)

Jem21

21-03-16, 16:58

Just sat waiting to go into doctors, had a total meltdown this morning, not even managed work. I just can't take citalopram anymore. It's not working and I can't face the side effects again to increase, just not got it in me. Last week they offered me a more sedating med, mirt I assumed and I turned it down. I'm going to give it a go. 8 weeks on increased cit and I'm no better. I'm not dissing cit at all, it's worked for me on numerous occasions but not this time it seems! I'll update after my appointment but I'm defo looking to change. Hope you are all doing well.

LiveAboveIt

21-03-16, 17:28

You know yourself better than anyone else, Ive been severely struggling on this medication, as well.. I wanted to check notes with you and see if maybe I need to try something different.. I feel like my mood has improved as well as my ability to rationalize, but strangely the anxiety and fear seems to be worsening. I take it at midnight before bed and I notice that it still severely stimulates me and increases my anxiety making it feel much more intense for the next 12 hours or so.. I just feel really amped up and afraid and it doesnt seem to be getting any better. It lessens as the day goes on and the fear decreases, but I notice I get extremely angry and irritable towards the end of the night. Combine this with the fatigue, stomach issues, feeling spaced out and dumb.. is that kind of how you feel on Cit, Jem? Do all drugs cause this or do they all feel different and work in other ways?

Never feel ashamed.. You gave it an awesome run and have been very strong. These meds affect everyone differently and are different everytime. Listen to your doctor, I am confident you will have luck with something different if that is the route you decide to go.

Jem21

21-03-16, 17:33

Jaysmd

21-03-16, 17:44

Meds not working a third or fourth time has happened to me, so I guess it's not uncommon. Hope the new meds work. Personally im going to give a few weeks on my increase to see if improve. I have pretty much run out of ad's to try though so this is end of the road. Good luck on your new meds jem, keep us updated

LiveAboveIt

21-03-16, 17:55

Quick update- I have been taken off cit, got to have no tablets tonight then start mirt tomorrow night. Very scared but really think I need to try something else as after 8 weeks I'm no better and I can't go through all that mania that I get with increasing. I'll still pop in to see how you are all doing and fingers crossed the mirt works for me x

---------- Post added at 17:33 ---------- Previous post was at 17:30 ----------

Hey live - it's really hard to say as were all different but I'd say if you've given it 6-8 weeks and you don't feel any better then it's time for an increase or a change.

Please keep us updated on your progress! Ive got my fingers crossed for you. Trust in your doctors. There is a pill for everyone, its just a pain in the ass trying to find the right one.

As far as my situation goes, its still hard to tell.. it seems like my overall situation is slowly improving, but I cant say for sure if its the meds. I dont have an appetite and cant seem to eat anything or think straight until 12 to 14 hours after my last dose. When I was taking it during the day, it left me feeling extremely anxious and agitated all day. After switching it to night, I notice it interfering with my sleep a bit more and still only getting about 5 to 6 hours of sleep, feeling anxious for another 6 to 8 after waking..

Im terrified to increase because I already dont feel well on it and the mania, increased agitation, racing thoughts that all showed up when I first got on the med.. well, Im not looking forward to going through that again. Just tired and spacey all the time, not sleeping well, constant diarrhea, losing weight fast because I have no appetite..

Everything in me is saying enough is enough.. Ive been trying to force myself to stick with it, but even aside from my anxiety mildly improving, my quality of life is suffering in other areas about 40 days in now.

Ive contacted my Psych, just waiting for a call back.. I guess Im just looking for some reassurance or guidance because Im afraid and bad at making decisions right now.

---------- Post added at 12:55 ---------- Previous post was at 12:52 ----------

Meds not working a third or fourth time has happened to me, so I guess it's not uncommon. Hope the new meds work. Personally im going to give a few weeks on my increase to see if improve. I have pretty much run out of ad's to try though so this is end of the road. Good luck on your new meds jem, keep us updated

Yeah, this is probably my 5th or 6th time on Citalopram, I made the mistake of getting on and off them over and over and each time seems to be worse. The first time I took them I hardly had any side effects.. It was really stupid of me to do so, but I was young and terrified of meds. Worried that I screwed myself by doing that.

Jem21

21-03-16, 18:37

My side effects have been worse each time I've took these to the point I couldn't take it anymore - did almost 8 weeks and I couldn't face all that mania again. My doc thinks I will respond better to a more sedating one, although he has started me at 30 as apparently it's really sedating at 15mg.

Jay - there is always an option if these don't work the way you want them to, they can try combinations and all sorts.

Suziewuzie

21-03-16, 18:49

I hope they work for you Jem, I will miss comparing symptoms with you!! X

Jem21

21-03-16, 18:59

Hey Suzie, no doubt I'll still be complaining about some form of symptoms so you can't all get rid of me that easily... I'll be Billy no mates in the mert section so I'm staying here lol

Suziewuzie

21-03-16, 19:00

Yessss stay here! Nobody posts in the Mirt forum, I think it's because it's so good that nobody has any reason to come on here & moan about it so that must be a good thing! X

LiveAboveIt

21-03-16, 19:20

Yes, please stay. Jem. We are like a family at this point, lol.

I know you are afraid of experiencing the mania, but may I ask what your other side effects were that made you quit the Cit?

Jem21

21-03-16, 19:46

I had mania, nausea, increased anxiety, sweating at night, crazy dreams, emotionless for a few weeks that all passed and I was left with high anxiety and jaw clenching that are causing really bad headaches. I most likely needed to increase but I couldn't go through it all again. Never had them that bad before!

Good news alert - just found a message on my answer phone from this afternoon - it was the hospital with my results... All the cancer is gone!!!! Hope this is the start of good things.

Thanks Live you are my online family :-) x

Jaysmd

21-03-16, 19:48

Weight off the shoulders and a new medication. This paves the way for successful recovery

LiveAboveIt

21-03-16, 20:07

So happy for you, Jem! Thats fantastic news!

Jem21

21-03-16, 20:34

Can't believe it's been on my answer phone since lunch time and I've only just seen it.

Thanks guys - really hope so Jay

---------- Post added at 20:34 ---------- Previous post was at 20:33 ----------

Can't believe it's been on my answer phone since lunch time and I've only just seen it.

Thanks guys - really hope so Jay

Suziewuzie

21-03-16, 20:48

Great news Jem I'm thrilled for you & hope this is the start of good things! I am so jealous of the lovely lovely sleep you're going to have off that mirtazapine.
I've had quite a naff day today :(

Jem21

21-03-16, 21:07

Me too Suzie, I'm off work all week, nothing tonight though so I'll have to see how I go!

Why you had a bad day Hun? X

Suziewuzie

22-03-16, 11:29

Just really anxious all day with knots in my stomach, felt like I couldn't relax at all. I finally had my phonecall assessment for CBT after waiting 6 weeks and it was really disappointing too. Basically they told me the services that they offered - one to one CBT, stress management, counselling and an online CBT course. She asked which I'd prefer and I said one to one CBT but she basically said no there's a massive waiting list so just do the online course. If they knew they were just going to tell me that then why didn't they just give me the log in details for the online course 6 weeks ago when I was referred :(

---------- Post added at 11:29 ---------- Previous post was at 08:47 ----------

How was your first night on Mirt Jem?? X

R1CH

22-03-16, 12:06

Hi Suzie

I'm on day 9 of cit now and my initial 1 week high has crashed lol. I am feeling pretty down and like you knots in my stomach but I kind of expected that I would feel rubbish at some point during startup, although pleased to say nothing like last time, fingers crossed.

I'm on the wait list for CBT too, and I've been told its anything from 8 months to 1 year!!!.

How long have you been on cit now?

Rich

---------- Post added at 12:06 ---------- Previous post was at 12:02 ----------

Me too Suzie, I'm off work all week, nothing tonight though so I'll have to see how I go!

Why you had a bad day Hun? X

Hi Jem

Glad to hear your news! :yesyes:

I have been on Mirt before and found it gave me some really vivid dreams., not just your normal type of dreams though, if you get what I mean. Apparently that is a side effect - Nocturnal emissions

I hope you are doing well.

Rich

Suziewuzie

22-03-16, 12:08

Hi Rich,

I was on it for a month, then stopped for 4 days, then recommenced it. I'm about 5 weeks in now & appreciate that not having it for 4 days probably knocked me back somewhat.
I can handle the knots in my stomach etc I don't let it ruin ny day it's just frustrating at times isn't it?
Ah don't even get me started on the CBT wait list, it's crazy!!

Jem21

22-03-16, 12:16

Hey all... Well it was a weird night... No meds at all...
I meant to start the mirt tonight but after the last few days and nights my mum has called nhs direct for advise and just waiting for a call back.

I woke up and was sick, getting extreme body trembling, my body has been getting muscle spasms and it goes totally ridged and my jaw locks. I've been having really vivid dreams for a few weeks, and still have the diareah and agitation and headaches.

Most of this has been happening all the way through and has continued despite my mood improving so she thinks I have too much seratonin from increasing my dose. She is now concerned that the mirt will just carry on with that. So we will see what they say!

Suzie - that sounds pants about the cbt, I have a call back in April and imagine it will be the same. Really annoys me that everything takes so long! X

Suziewuzie

22-03-16, 12:20

Oh gosh that sounds horrible. Let us know what they say, I hope you aren't waiting too long for a call back x

Jem21

22-03-16, 12:32

Me too... It's been the worst experience of my life increasing to 30mg I expected all that for the first couple of weeks but not still 8 weeks later. I've never had the jaw and muscle lock before though, it's that bad that my left arm is totally week.

Never considered too much seratonin though. (Mums eh lol)

I'll let you know once they have called back. X

Suziewuzie

22-03-16, 13:42

Any word yet Jem? Xx

R1CH

22-03-16, 14:59

serotonin Syndrome, it is very possible. I thought I had it when I had Akathesia. The problem with all these conditions are that they have very similar symptoms and of course can be caused by Anxiety as well!!

Is anyone having night panics. I am increasingly waking up with panic attacks in the night and when I don't have my lenses in I'm as blind as a bat so its quite scary!! (probably quite funny if you were watching me as well!) I found this with the imipramine too, eventually they stop and that's when I know I have stabilised on that dose.

Feeling completely lifeless today, a bit sick and feeling sorry for myself lol uggghhh seeing pdoc this afternoon for check up.

Rich

Suziewuzie

22-03-16, 15:05

The past few nights I'm waking up very frequently - every hour or so, and forgetting where I am and who I am. This used to happen when I suffered with night terrors and I hate it. Gonna take a zopiclone tonight so I can get a good snooze x

Jaysmd

22-03-16, 15:07

Rich... We started the meds same time, what does did you say you were on and what benzo are you using?

R1CH

22-03-16, 15:19

Hi Jay

I'm on 20mg and I have diazepam to use, I have not used any of them yet though apart from on the first day and whilst on imipramine. My first week I felt great and now things are going down hill so I expect to be using them a bit more often!!!

I fully expect to go to 40mg soon as I was on that dose for years previously :(

How are you doing?

Rich

Jaysmd

22-03-16, 15:47

Well coming up to 8 weeks tomorrow. 1 week on 30mg... I notice a bit of a difference this morning, Far less anxious. I know not to get too excited but I'm hoping it's the increase taking effect. I have the klonopin on hand, in the past week I have used 0.5mg on 3 separate occasions when I felt that I might be falling into a low trap again and it really just gets me feeling good and able to get things done. I would prefer the cit just work though. So fingers crossed I'm on the right track. Are you considering a dosage increase soon?

R1CH

22-03-16, 17:58

I'm just back from seeing my pdoc, and the lack of positive feedback is really upsetting. Honestly you'd think that they'd understand that we are desperate to get better and be more motivating and give us hope. A previous pdoc I had when I was staying at my parents was awesome at motivating me for recovery. This one just seems so dismissive about start-up side effects and how long they last etc. etc. or maybe its me just reading him wrong as he doesn't really say much.

We agreed to increase in a few weeks (40mg but said I could go to 30mg first if I wanted) but I may jump sooner depending on how I feel in the coming days. He said they normally increase within 2 weeks if there is no response.

I guess its still very early days for me but to say he has made me feel despondent is an understatement. :weep:

Rich

---------- Post added at 17:58 ---------- Previous post was at 17:57 ----------

Well coming up to 8 weeks tomorrow. 1 week on 30mg... I notice a bit of a difference this morning, Far less anxious. I know not to get too excited but I'm hoping it's the increase taking effect. I have the klonopin on hand, in the past week I have used 0.5mg on 3 separate occasions when I felt that I might be falling into a low trap again and it really just gets me feeling good and able to get things done. I would prefer the cit just work though. So fingers crossed I'm on the right track. Are you considering a dosage increase soon?

My fingers are crossed for you as well. Just keep thinking it is the cit. I think I will be taking a few dizapam this week.

Rich

Jem21

22-03-16, 18:32

Well what a strange day... I now am not leaving the cit family, well not for a while anyway!

Spoke to nhs direct who advised I needed to see a doctor within 6 hours, couldn't get an appointment at mine so went to a walk in one with my dad. He basically total me that my doctor didn't know what he was on about! He said my symptoms sounded like too much seratonin still causing side effects and no way should I just stop the cit and switch to mirt as my body wouldn't know what the hell was going on. He said I was to drop to 20mg for a week and see if the side effects went if they did and I was ok then jobs a good en, if not reduce to 10mg for a week and evaluate. If I'm still having the side effects then I need to see a neurologist but we need to check first if it's the cit or not. He said if I felt I still needed an ad he said that would need to be evaluated at the time. He said if I did decide to go onto mirt to start at 15 not 30. Feel quite let down by my doctor now to be honest.
He seemed to be more in the know that my doc and defo did not advise going cold turkey from cit straight on to 30mg mirt!

Feel a bit knacked off but happy to still be with my 'cit family'

Jaysmd

22-03-16, 18:42

Welcome back despite the circumstances

Jem21

22-03-16, 18:45

Thanks, I wasn't planning on hanging out in the mirt section anyway as far to quiet, but now still in the cit club for a while longer. Except as you are all going up I'm going down!
Hope it's not a bumpy ride :-/

Jaysmd

22-03-16, 18:48

Hmm I think we are all going in circles at times. Hope you can find a dose that your body and mind can settle on. We all hate the merry go around!

Jem21

22-03-16, 19:07

We sure do, me and my youngest have come to my parents for a while so it's less stressful.
My dad brings me cups of tea in bed and looks after me and my mum keeps my hyper 12 year old in check lol

Only been here 1 night and already got my partner and moody 18 year old moaning that they can't find stuff... Most likely the washing machine, cooker, iron and washing up liquid! My bin will be full of takeaway boxes! I may never go home ;-) lol

LiveAboveIt

22-03-16, 21:13

Jem21

22-03-16, 21:51

It's such a tough call Live - mine has gone down to my left arm to the point I can't even hold a plate as it starts shaking and burning from weakness! After 8 weeks on this dose I know I have tried... I never had this before so it must be side effects, the only way to be sure is to drop down a dose and see! Started with toothache tonight from jaw clenching (I'm ready for the skip lol) all we can do is try!! How long you been on the 20? What are your plans?

LiveAboveIt

22-03-16, 22:07

Been on 20mg for about 35 days or so, but its just not agreeing with me. I guess all I can really do is what the Psych said and just not take Cit tonight and replace it with Sert.

wantpeace

22-03-16, 23:43

I'm just back from seeing my pdoc, and the lack of positive feedback is really upsetting. Honestly you'd think that they'd understand that we are desperate to get better and be more motivating and give us hope. A previous pdoc I had when I was staying at my parents was awesome at motivating me for recovery. This one just seems so dismissive about start-up side effects and how long they last etc. etc. or maybe its me just reading him wrong as he doesn't really say much.

We agreed to increase in a few weeks (40mg but said I could go to 30mg first if I wanted) but I may jump sooner depending on how I feel in the coming days. He said they normally increase within 2 weeks if there is no response.

I guess its still very early days for me but to say he has made me feel despondent is an understatement. :weep:

Rich

Some are better than others. Sorry he didn't give you what you needed. On the plus side, it sounds like you have a plan. It's good to have a plan to focus on. These start up side effects can be a living nightmare. It's difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced them to know what it's like.

R1CH

23-03-16, 09:21

Thanks for your reply. Yes I agree.

I pretty much told him that unless he had been through it then with respect you don't really understand what I am talking about.

My next appointment is not until June now, and I aim to be a happy person by then!:yesyes:

Rich

Jem21

23-03-16, 11:45

Good for you Rich...

Ok so I'm feeling a bit of a plank right now...
After chronic toothache last night my mum rang dentist and they saw me first thing! I think I threw up twice on the way there (not a fan of the dentist) in all fairness my dentist is lovely, told me off for not going for the last year. My mum made me tell him everything that has been happening with my jaw...

Turns out I have an abcess, and that this, along with headaches, face pain, ear pain, jaw clenching, neck ache, muscle spasms, muscle weakness and fatigue are all symptoms of a bad bite... Oh!!!! And there I have been for the last few weeks thinking I have too much seratonin! He has given me antibiotics as he can't check anything till next week because of the pain!

I've already dropped to the 20 now so I'll keep with that!
Feeling pretty stupid right now!! :-/ although still suffering with it all.

R1CH

23-03-16, 12:08

Oh no, well don't feel too bad, it could of been but at least you know now it wasn't serotonin syndrome so that's good!

I had a tooth pulled last week and I'm in pain too, dentist gave me antibiotics. They had to cut the tooth in two as they couldn't remove it. My mouth is a right sore mess at the moment so I can sympathise!

So have you dropped to 20mg on the cit, and your plan is to go to Mirt?

I'm suffering a headache today and just a bit out of it, with a fuzzy head, brings back memories, more pain killers I think!

Rich

Suziewuzie

24-03-16, 10:24

Jem that's crazy that you have a tooth abcess, no wonder you've felt lousy! I hope the antibiotics make you feel better, it would be amazing if they made all your symptoms go away. Whats the plan now, weaning off the citalopram to start on Mirt?

Jem21

24-03-16, 19:21

Hey Suzie, not totally sure on the plan at the minute.
Had a day with nothing then my dad made me see another doctor who said that no way should I stop cit one day and start mirt the next, he also said he thought mirt was the wrong tablet for me! So now reduced to 20mg which I've done the last 2 nights! Crazy dreams since reducing and nausea! My dad (bless him) is looking into options as he now has no faith in my doctor where these type of meds are concerned, he also told me to stop taking the preg which the other doc said not to!
I'm plan less!!! :-0 lol

Everywhere is shut till next week now so going to keep with the 20 cit, preg and antibiotics (yes I do rattle haha)

How you doing Hun? X

Suziewuzie

25-03-16, 15:39

Crikey what a mess!! I hope you're feeling OK with the tablet changes.
I'm great, had two days totally anxiety free now :)

Jem21

25-03-16, 17:52

Yay go Suzie x

LiveAboveIt

25-03-16, 17:53

Thats awesome, Suzie! Thats the aim! You feel like your old self again?

Jem21

30-03-16, 11:45

Update incoming :

After a week of reducing from 30 to 20mg, which hasn't been fun, was sat on the sofa most of yesterday crying, I am now no longer plan less! Been to the doctors this morning and it was a new one there and she was lovely. She actually listened, I was in there half an hour! (Bet everyone in the waiting room hated me lol)

After listening to me go on and on and probably on a bit more, she has come up with a plan! She did the depression test thing on me and I scored a 12 which isn't really high apparently and she thinks I get anxious and wound up then down from the problems with my head, eyes, ears and nose! She doesn't want to switch me to anything else at the moment as I'm still having withdrawals from downing the cit and she doesn't want to mess my system up anymore! She has referred me to neurology as she thinks if we can control these problems then the anxiety will go! In the meantime ahead told me to taper the pregablin down over the next 3 days and introduce nortriptyline at 10mg before bed. She has also given me 2mg diazepam to take if needed during this. She also asked me to go back in 2 weeks to see how I'm doing (this is a first) but nice!
So I'm starting the nort on Friday night. She has also signed me off work for 3 weeks (they are really going to hate me lol)

I'm scared about all this but certainly willing to try it, fingers crossed it all helps.

Hope my 'cit family - Suzie, Jay, live, rich and dan' are all doing well. (If I forgot anyone I'm sorry :-/ ) take care.

Jemma x

Suziewuzie

30-03-16, 13:51

Jem I'm so pleased you now have a plan. I bet you feel bettrr knowing you'll be seen by a neurologist too, I hope you don't have too long to wait xx

Jem21

30-03-16, 15:30

She said it might be a while but I'm looking forward to starting the nortriptyline on Friday night and seeing if that helps, how was going back to work? X

LiveAboveIt

30-03-16, 16:44

I really hope you start feeling better soon, Jem. Ive got my fingers crossed for ya.

Jem21

30-03-16, 17:04

Thank you live, how you doing on the sert?

Jaysmd

30-03-16, 17:35

Hi jem,

Really glad you have found a doctor that wants to help and is knowledgable, it takes a weight off the shoulders for sure. Let's hope this allows for a clearer mind which will help the medication take its desired effect. Good luck!

LiveAboveIt

31-03-16, 01:05

Thank you live, how you doing on the sert?

Not actually on the Sert anymore. Decided to just go without meds because I was getting really sick on the Cit and was too concerned with it happening on the Sert, as well.

Since quitting the Cit, I just look way healthier in general and feel better off for it, but I'm left with this feeling of constant tiredness, dizziness, and just feeling spaced out and disconnected. My anxiety is 50% better than it was, but the way I feel physically is causing some anxiety. I'm not sure if this is Cit/Sert withdrawal or something I should get checked out for, but otherwise I feel fine.

Just would like to feel like my old self again, feeling spaced out all the time makes it hard to forget about the way I feel/anxiousness. Pain in the ass, lol. Any update on your situation?

Jem21

31-03-16, 07:43

Yeah I dropped back to the 20 just over a week ago, had some horrible effects from dropping but these seem to be settling, I'm adding in nortriptyline tomorrow at a low dose 10mg to see if that helps with the head pressure/pain... The doc thinks I am getting anxious because of this so they want to try and fix this and see if it helps. Also been referred to neurology so I'll wait and see how I go!

Sounds like you are going through withdrawl at the minute so hopefully it should get easier as time passes x

Suziewuzie

31-03-16, 15:02

She said it might be a while but I'm looking forward to starting the nortriptyline on Friday night and seeing if that helps, how was going back to work? X

Going back to work has been great for me, it's totally kicked my anxiety in the butt as when I'm there I have 12 patients who need me so I don't have a minute to think about how I'm feeling!
My mood is still quite low but I honestly think that's preferable to the anxiety & should be (I hope!) easier to kick x

R1CH

31-03-16, 21:47

Jaysmd

31-03-16, 23:27

Going back to work has been great for me, it's totally kicked my anxiety in the butt as when I'm there I have 12 patients who need me so I don't have a minute to think about how I'm feeling!
My mood is still quite low but I honestly think that's preferable to the anxiety & should be (I hope!) easier to kick x

Work really helps... I feel my worst in the evenings or on the weekends. Work days my motivation is back and the distraction is there... To be honest and this will sound stupid... I actually fear the weekend. I should be looking forward to it but I really can't handle it

LiveAboveIt

03-04-16, 20:18

Yeah, I think I mentioned it in another post, but.. I work from home, but I'm seriously trying to find a part time job to help give me a reason to get out of the house more and keep me occupied. Distractions are amazing.

---------- Post added at 14:18 ---------- Previous post was at 14:16 ----------

Hi jem,

Really glad you have found a doctor that wants to help and is knowledgable, it takes a weight off the shoulders for sure. Let's hope this allows for a clearer mind which will help the medication take its desired effect. Good luck!

Hey, Jem. How are you doing? I noticed you haven't posted in like 4 days, so I'm hoping that's a good sign and that you are feeling better and not needing to use the forum. :)