M1825
10-03-16, 19:12
Good afternoon
I don't know what my intention is with this post. I just feel so scared and alone in this and, having contained this to myself for a few months, I'm beginning to feel like I'm going to explode. So perhaps my intent is just to vent.
I'm 27, married and a father to two amazing kids. Starting in October I began having pain and stiffness in both my wrists, more than likely due to a home remodel I had been working on. Around the same time I stumbled across something about ALS and have since been consumed by fear.
In December I had a full melt down thinking perhaps my symptoms were something else, perhaps lupus. I had to leave a family gathering. Once I was able to get alone I just broke down balling at the thought of not being alive to see my kids grow up or be there for them and my wife.
I saw a doctor and she said its anxiety.
In January I started having tightness in my jaw. This caused me to have trouble talking and eating. I once again saw my doctor and she said to take aleve and prescribed muscle relaxers.
I'm still dealing with these pains and discomfort. Now I've notice once side of my smile is higher than the other. The fear of having a disease such as ALS is consuming me. The only time I feel it go away was when I was working on a garden with my kids.
I'm not being the father or husband I should be. I'm not being the leader at work I should be. I'm just completely controlled by this fear. I'm losing my mind.
I don't know what my intention is with this post. I just feel so scared and alone in this and, having contained this to myself for a few months, I'm beginning to feel like I'm going to explode. So perhaps my intent is just to vent.
I'm 27, married and a father to two amazing kids. Starting in October I began having pain and stiffness in both my wrists, more than likely due to a home remodel I had been working on. Around the same time I stumbled across something about ALS and have since been consumed by fear.
In December I had a full melt down thinking perhaps my symptoms were something else, perhaps lupus. I had to leave a family gathering. Once I was able to get alone I just broke down balling at the thought of not being alive to see my kids grow up or be there for them and my wife.
I saw a doctor and she said its anxiety.
In January I started having tightness in my jaw. This caused me to have trouble talking and eating. I once again saw my doctor and she said to take aleve and prescribed muscle relaxers.
I'm still dealing with these pains and discomfort. Now I've notice once side of my smile is higher than the other. The fear of having a disease such as ALS is consuming me. The only time I feel it go away was when I was working on a garden with my kids.
I'm not being the father or husband I should be. I'm not being the leader at work I should be. I'm just completely controlled by this fear. I'm losing my mind.