lump

[nononono]

so, possible TMI (sorry beforehand):

along with my recent HIV scare (which is still ongoing even if i came back neg and the dude came back neg as well, i'm little calmer though) and the fact that i most likely contracted herpes from my gf (long term, poly), i noticed a marble sized lump between my anus and vagina located on the right side almost on my right buttock. it is hard to the touch and does not usually hurt unless i touch it directly.

i know it is not a lymph node because to my knowledge there are no lymph nodes on the perineum and it certainly does not feel like one.

I did have it for some time (about a year or so), only it was smaller than a pea, did not hurt and i could feel it closer to my anus which led me to believe it was possibly a hemorrhoid.

it made sense since i've suffered IBS for about two years and hemorrhoids are a common ailment; now I'm not so sure...

so a little timeline on this:

last saturday i went to a party, got completely smashed, ate about a total of 1kg of tabbouleh and due to my IBS, spent the whole night pooping. since i normally feel i'm never done i usually strain a lot after being finished because i want to make 100% sure i've emptied my innards so i don't have to head back to the restroom repeatedly (which i did anyway). i'm also kind of a clean freak so i usually wipe excessively and sometimes hurt myself in the process. this is why at the beginning i thought it was possibly a thrombosed hemorrhoid.

fast forward a few hours, it's sunday i'm hella hungover, i feel like crap, i do notice the lump is a little bit swollen but make none if it because i thought it was probably related to my excessive pooping/wiping. every inch of my body hurts anyway so it kinda downplays the monstrosity between my thighs.

monday and tuesday go by, i don't notice it as much since it doesn't usually hurt continuously, only if it's directly touched. thought probably the dull pain was herpes related since i had a recent flare up of what looked like herpes (not confirmed by doctor, but gf does have herpes, had a flareup and two weeks later i came down with similar symptoms).

wednesday 5 in the morning i wake up with diarrhea (IBS acting up) and when i wipe i notice the pain. since i feel like crap, i take the day off and go back to sleep and think none of it.

wake up at 9 am again, take a shower, and notice the pain again, go back to my room and examine it with a mirror. that's when i see the horror; it is easily visible, it is the size of a small grape and it's located in the right hand side of my perineum, naturally, i freak out.

message my gf and she tells me not to worry, that it's probably not as bad as i think it is. head to her place and have her take a look and touch it, she freaks out too.

now it's thursday, it hasn't grown or anything but it feels harder. so i ask dr google (now, i know i shouldn't have done that) and symptoms match more with bartholin's cyst, the only thing is that's a little below the area where a bartholin's cyst would usually appear (less than a cm) which naturally freaks me tf out because what if cancer

anyway i know i shouldn't ask for a diagnosis (which might look like i do but i've found describing my symptoms calms me down a bit), but at least i would like to know if i should go to an ob/gyn, dermatologist or a plain GP.

i think i've let too much time pass and i don't even know which doctor to visit first. i just quit my job, my last day is on monday and i'm a little tight on money so i don't wanna eff this up

i just wish 3 days could pass without me freaking out about my health

[WiseMonkey]

My first impression when reading this is that it may be a bartholin's cyst as they're quite common. They are also benign but can become infected. A trip to either your Dr or gynae will solve the mystery.

[countrygirl]

You can also get infectded cysts/abcesses in that area as well from sweat glands or hair follicles. I have had this in the past and it was agony.
When I had mine I would use hot compresses and salt water to bring it to a head and it would burst with lots of disgusting pus!!! Drs tend to just give you antibiotics which I found never worked for me. IF everything fails thent hey can drain the cyst/abcess but thankfully my home treatment always worked.

[nononono]

Thanks for the prompt replies.
I just want to know: do cysts/abscesses usually feel this hard? I know cysts do but I'm not so sure about abscesses.

And how are bartholin cysts treated?

[Fishmanpa]

Best just to go to the doctor or clinic. Speculating on a website won't do you any good.

Positive thoughts

[nononono]

Will do,. I'd just like to know what to expect.

[nononono]

went to the dr's. was diagnosed as a perianal abscess. will be on antibiotics for 10 and will possibly be drained in 3 days. i' a little less worried however i can't help but think it might be a symptom of something way worse

[Fishmanpa]

went to the dr's. was diagnosed as a perianal abscess. will be on antibiotics for 10 and will possibly be drained in 3 days. i' a little less worried however i can't help but think it might be a symptom of something way worse

That's where you're wrong. You're fine and what you thought was sinister is, while inconvenient, totally benign and treatable. You can "choose" to believe otherwise, torture yourself for the next few weeks or not and that's the point.

Great to hear all is well and it's not anything serious!

Positive thoughts

[Nzxt27]

Agree with fishman. If the doctor was not worried then you should try not be.

[nononono]

the problem is i do not trust doctors. i have a long history with doctors misdiagnosing me and being downright negligent with me which has caused my health to deteriorate further in several occasions. actually when i finally healed it was after 4-5 visits to different doctors or mostly i healed on my own

let me give you a little background and update on this:

this is a govt run clinic in mexico, while it is free the service is crappy to say the least. they're lacking in equipment and medications. doctors can't care less about you and only want you to get the hell out of their sight as quickly as possible so they normally give you a half assed consultation, half assed dx and half assed treatment, hell, they can't even look you directly in the eye. as if they're doing you the favor...as if i'm not paying enough taxes already. sadly this is my only option since i am very tight on money and cannot afford a private doctor

when i first visited the clinic on saturday the first doctor told me to monitor it for the next 72 hours while i was taking my antibiotics and go back if i felt it necessary. it just burst a few hours ago while i was showering in the morning i felt it was important to let a physician know so i could know whether a incision or drainage were required (as per my last doctor). came back to the same clinic and got a new doctor, she completely dismissed my symptoms and my anxieties regarding this which i believe to be well founded, since this thing is dangerously near my vagina and 1) it can cause a vaginal infection and 2) it may get worse if not properly drained 3) it is a very inconvenient place to have and abscess. i told her it is in fact a little softer and a little less painful and that i can sit and walk now but that i need to have it evaluated again. she just told me to pop it like zit in the course of the next 3 days, to wash it constantly and to take sitz baths with salt. then she closed by telling me this is not my assigned clinic and to go to mine if i considered it necessary (my consultation shift starts at 2 pm and i gotta be there at 11 am if i don't want to sit waiting there until 8 pm). I got a problem with this since this is an ER clinic and it not being assigned to me does not even apply because ERs do not require for them to be assigned. second this one is the one which has less patients (you'd know what i mean if you went to a seguro social clinic down here in mexico/hella overcrowded, no attention for more than 6 hrs) therefore making them able to treat me quickly. third the last doctor at the same clinic told me to go back if i felt it necessary. fourth, i've already gone to that clinic several times for different issues an they've never denied treatment for me there. sure, they don't have a lot of equipment and they don't have a lot of meds either but if the last doctor told me to go back surely it is because they're able to do this type of procedures. and fifth no one ever goes to that clinic so triage should not even apply.

anyway i've tried popping it and some pus does come out but not too much, plus it does hurt when i press it and i still feel a grape sized lump beneath my skin which is somewhat hard. i think the hard part of the abscess is what is keeping me from draining it. that's why i believe it needs to be cut and drained surgically in one sitting instead of me risking getting a vaginal infection, a bigger abscess or both.i do not feel qualified to do this andfear i might only be making it worse. i don't know if i should go to another doctor to be told they're pretty much powerless to do anything about this.

at this point my hands are tied and all i can do is trust the doctor and risk a worse outcome.

---------- Post added at 18:42 ---------- Previous post was at 17:18 ----------

i can't stop crying. i need medical help. i've already tried getting it myself and it has only proven to be counterproductive. i need help from a friend or a family member (a ride to a doctor's office, some recommendation, idk) my uncle is not home and i'm home alone with my grandpa with alzheimer's who can't do anything to help me even if he's a tenured doctor (murphy's law i guess).

my mom is not answering her messages, my aunt is not either (i don't count with many people tbh). only my girlfriend but she can't do much other than give me moral and emotional support. i am freaking out and i can't do much other than wait for a response. i got private insurance but it's only valid and useable in seattle and i'm only a 6 hour plane ride away. my free govt insurance has only worked so much so far. and my private insurance provided by my workplace is no longer valid as today's my last day there (supposedly because i didn't even go to work)

i haven't eaten anything and if i do i fear i might want to poop later and that's not a good thing with an open sore on top of an already infected abscess.

on top of that i think this thing might have caused a vaginal infection as my vagina an overall vulva is itchy and irritated.

i am going crazy i just want to get this over with and feel okay.again i can't stop crying