View Full Version : What the hell is wrong with me
I'm so tired of feeling this way . I had a stress test done a month ago and I had a holter monitor done two weeks ago and stress test was normal the holter showed episodes of tachycardia but I still can't seem to accept my heart is fine especially when I get chest pain or weird sensations in chest. I want to accept this but I don't know how to. I'm doing cbt for this . How do I trust what the doctor has told me and what the tests have shown. I was in hospital again Tuesday over stupid pain has chest xray and bloods done including d dimer which all came back normal but because I had a funny turn last night and I'm in pain today I'm doubting everything. Last night when I was lying down had funny feeling in chest like a pressure weird tickling pain thingy which causes panic attack. Today I'm having pain again in chest and under left breast which has me on edge. I don't know what to do anymore I'm completely lost as to what to do or how to accept this . Please help . Sorry for long post.
You're doing the right and pro-active thing by taking CBT. You should be getting homework and exercises/techniques to use when these thoughts overtake you. It's a matter of practicing over and over and over until you break the habits of worry that are so ingrained in you.
What does your therapist think of you posting on the forum? I ask because it's often counter-productive to making progress.
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She doesn't mind too much although she has told me it's just another reassurance seeking safety behaviour. .... I just want to stop worrying about these chest pains and sensations and to stop thinking worse case scenario all the time. I do the stop breathe rationalise thing but when I'm worried I can't rationalize at all . What are the chances that something is wrong with my heart after the tests I've had .
What are the chances that something is wrong with my heart after the tests I've had .
You know the answer to that question. Go back to the beginning of your post history. Read through your posts and all the tests and results and answer that question yourself :)
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Fishman might be a great person to take advice from on this as I believe I read he's had heart issues and even attacks? I think even a chest x-ray with a doctor checking your vitals is probably sufficient in a lot of cases as it would probably show some irregularities...
I was at ER in jan over chest pains and they did EKG on me which showed a little abnormal low t wave or t waves I forgot what manager over the ER said (I called him couple days later and talked with him for 30 mins) But the main guy over the ER said it was identical to his EKG. The doctor did blood work and urine test which all came back fine. When I asked the doctor about the EKG all he said was some variance is not uncommon. And he said I need to work on my stress and quit googling stuff. And he said I could follow up with a doctor he recommended if I want more pills but he doesn't see the need in it. He seemed sure I was fine. It's hard to take in I always wonder why he didn't run more test or keep me over night or recommend me following up with someone. And only logical explanation I can see is he was sure my heart was fine and it was caused by anxiety and stress. I also had acid reflux during that week. No heart problems or high blood pressure or diabetic runs in my immediately family.
Everyone says I'm fine and most the chest pains have went away after the ER. I had my whole family there at the ER and they all heard what doctor told me and they said I asked like 10 times of my heart was fine. I was in panic mode that whole day it seemed. I didn't even think I was going to make it to the doctor in time. When he said he was checking my thyroid and see if I was anemic I thought I had thyroid cancer while he was out of room running blood work on me.
I guess what I'm saying it's hard to take in but like my family said even a ex gf that is a EMT why would the doctor lie? What would he get out of that besides maybe in trouble? They take heart related stuff seriously and chest pains. And a ER doctor would see lots of chest pains and heart related patents I'm sure everyday. My ex gf who is a EMT said I'm worried over a worry that is not even there.
---------- Post added at 19:16 ---------- Previous post was at 19:06 ----------
I mean they have no problem running more test or keeping you over night they don't mind taking your money. But I'm like you I still worry some.
It's so hard for an anxious mind to accept that this pain isn t heart related. I hate anxiety and the effects it has on me. I would give anything to believe I'm what the doctors have told me but I'm finding it hard. I'm still having chest pain and weird feeling in chest and under left breast area which isn t helping me. I don't want to b afraid of every physical sensations my body does. They were very nice in the hospital with me and very thorough aswell but because of feeling the way I do in doubting it all.
---------- Post added at 19:33 ---------- Previous post was at 19:29 ----------
Plus the doctor in hospital told me that chest pain should always b investigated which scared me cause I start thinking all sorts. I mean one minute he telling me I'm fine next he's saying all chest pain should b investigated.
Your thread is titled: "What the hell is wrong with me"?
In a word? Anxiety.
From April of 2012:
Hi its been one of those days again. Had chest pain today and went to doc had ecg done it came back fine
Since then you've had more tests and doctor visits over this than I have and I have heart disease. I've had two heart attacks, bypass surgery and stents AND I have angina! Fun stuff let me tell you NOT! I wish I would have gotten even one of those clear tests you got.
IMO, the only thing wrong with your heart is that it's burdened from all the worrying you do. Chest pain is one of the most common symptoms of anxiety. Heck, I went to the ER once because I was having some pretty bad pain. With my history, it was a wise thing to do. Guess what? It was stress and GERD due to the inordinate amount of worry due to my cancer diagnosis. So yeah, I know first hand that stress, anxiety and things like GERD can cause non-sinister chest pain.
Keep treating the real illness (anxiety) and you'll be treating the symptoms associated with it.
Good luck and as always
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I understand I still get minor chest pains too. They come and go idk if I'm stressing enough to get them when they come. Maybe or maybe not. I still get twitches in my body too and I don't recall ever getting twitches much before I start worrying about everything. Just like laying on my left side I feel my heart beat good and it freaks me out some. I for sure think I'm very sensitive to my heart beat. Like I'm looking for it and stuff. I still feel it throughout my body some. What dof the doctor say the cause was anxiety? And did he give you someone he really said you should follow up with. Mine said he didn't even see the need in me following up unless I needed more pills
---------- Post added at 20:01 ---------- Previous post was at 19:48 ----------
They would have told you if they saw anything that worried them or they think will be a problem in the future. They have no reason not too. They even take a oath (if that is how you spell that). You have had more test then me. We have to learn to believe doctors it's their job and they have studied the human bodies more than most of us have studied anything in our life's. And ER doctors are suppose to be great doctors. I mean they deal with different things day in and day out. And if your hospital is like mine if they do X-rays and EKG on someone then the next day they have a person trained in reading them that goes over them and if they see anything different than what doctor said or they see a worry they call you. That's what my ER papers said and when I talked to the main guy over the ER I found out a cardiologist is who looks over them at my hospital. And they should be very aware of reading ekg's. Which I think ER doctors are also.
I'm trying so hard to overcome this fear by doing cbt and trying to deal with it. Living with chest pain everyday is hard cause I'm constantly thinking what if thoughts plus I get pain in my left arm aswell with it but the doctors don't seem concerned about it but every where you read about chest pain and left arm pain is heart attack symptoms. I've been in tears over this many times. I feel worn down with it all. I just want one day where I'm not having chest pains or arm pains or worrying. X realistically what are the chances of something being wrong with my heart a month after stress test and four days after hospital visit and being given all clear where heart is concerned.
Living with pain for anyone is hard. I do it 24/7 - 365 and take meds for it as well. Sometimes it's been nearly debilitating and it's always there...even when I sleep (I dream I'm in pain). Most of the time I manage to keep it in the 2-4 out of ten range with the meds.
One thing I do know is it's not sinister nor is your chest pain, according to medical science and testing. Frankly, I have too much to do and too much life to live to allow it to keep me down or make me depressed etc. I just tell the negativity to %$#@ itself and move on. Keep on working on the CBT techniques and consider removing the reassurance behaviors as well. They inevitably keep you in an anxiety spiral.
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