Husband doesnt think therapy is needed

[lavendar]

I've been dealing with HA since last March. I've had ups and downs, but It's been the most difficult year of my life. I think I could benefit from therapy. I need to learn how to cope with physical symptoms rationally rather than jumping to the conclusion that I have a horrible disease...and I need to learn how to stop the cycle of negative thoughts that come for weeks at a time even after a doctor assures me that I'm fine. But it'll likely cost us some $ due to insurance. I feel guilty spending our time and money on this (we have 5 young children, so me leaving the house for appts is fairly difficult). BUT I also feel guilty at the thought of staying like THIS. I'm not the mom or wife that I want to be when my anxiety flares. I want to be better for them...I want to be the mom/wife they deserve...and lately I feel like more of a burden than anything.

However, apparently I do a better job of hiding it than I thought. I talked to my husband tonight about the possibility of therapy, and he says that I seem fine. That I have occassional bad days, but I'm not struggling as much as I was this past Fall. He thinks I'll work my way through this on my own. The truth is that I am doing better than I was in the fall, but I still struggle daily with anxiety about my health or just anxiety in general (recently I've had bouts of anxiety but I don't know what I'm anxious about). He's not telling me that he doesn't want me to see a therapist or that he doesn't want to spend the $. He just doesn't understand why I feel that I need it. His mom struggled with severe anxiety when he was a kid, but he says I don't act like she did (she basically slept all day or stayed in her room. I can't do that with 5 kids home all day!)

I don't want this to sound like he's insensitive or unsupportive. He's an amazing husband. In his words, this is something he struggles to identify with because he's never dealt with anxiety.

So I'm not totally sure what my point is. I guess I'm struggling with deciding if therapy is worth the time and money it'll cost my family.

[.Poppy.]

Therapy sessions aren't always easy for me, but I honestly think that going to therapy to finally talk about my anxiety is one of the best things I have done. (Only took me 8 years). My therapist helped put me on a road to talk to my mother as well as other health professionals to get the assistance I need.

My anxiety too "didn't seem that bad". My mom honestly had no idea when I told her. It's such an internal struggle that unless you are very obviously struggling with depression, as it sounds like his mother did, it's easy to hide. I've actually found that it is much harder to express the anxiety (to anyone, therapist included) than it is to let it ruminate in my head - sometimes it's hard to adequately describe my fears and feelings, I guess.

But despite me thinking that I'm not that bad, every step of the way people have believed that I'm struggling and have reached out to help. I know I could be much worse - heck, there are times I HAVE been much worse, but when you need help you need help.

I got lucky in that I can get low cost therapy through my school, but I'd invest either way.

Sorry for turning this into a thread about me, but I think that you admitting you need help is great. Many don't make that step and stay stick forever. Can you perhaps tell your husband that you still feel very poorly, even if it's not obvious to him, and that you want to get help to change your thinking before it gets beyond your control? If nothing else maybe you could go for just one session and see what the therapist has to say?

Best of luck. xx