lavendar
12-03-16, 00:18
I've been dealing with HA since last March. I've had ups and downs, but It's been the most difficult year of my life. I think I could benefit from therapy. I need to learn how to cope with physical symptoms rationally rather than jumping to the conclusion that I have a horrible disease...and I need to learn how to stop the cycle of negative thoughts that come for weeks at a time even after a doctor assures me that I'm fine. But it'll likely cost us some $ due to insurance. I feel guilty spending our time and money on this (we have 5 young children, so me leaving the house for appts is fairly difficult). BUT I also feel guilty at the thought of staying like THIS. I'm not the mom or wife that I want to be when my anxiety flares. I want to be better for them...I want to be the mom/wife they deserve...and lately I feel like more of a burden than anything.
However, apparently I do a better job of hiding it than I thought. I talked to my husband tonight about the possibility of therapy, and he says that I seem fine. That I have occassional bad days, but I'm not struggling as much as I was this past Fall. He thinks I'll work my way through this on my own. The truth is that I am doing better than I was in the fall, but I still struggle daily with anxiety about my health or just anxiety in general (recently I've had bouts of anxiety but I don't know what I'm anxious about). He's not telling me that he doesn't want me to see a therapist or that he doesn't want to spend the $. He just doesn't understand why I feel that I need it. His mom struggled with severe anxiety when he was a kid, but he says I don't act like she did (she basically slept all day or stayed in her room. I can't do that with 5 kids home all day!)
I don't want this to sound like he's insensitive or unsupportive. He's an amazing husband. In his words, this is something he struggles to identify with because he's never dealt with anxiety.
So I'm not totally sure what my point is. I guess I'm struggling with deciding if therapy is worth the time and money it'll cost my family.
However, apparently I do a better job of hiding it than I thought. I talked to my husband tonight about the possibility of therapy, and he says that I seem fine. That I have occassional bad days, but I'm not struggling as much as I was this past Fall. He thinks I'll work my way through this on my own. The truth is that I am doing better than I was in the fall, but I still struggle daily with anxiety about my health or just anxiety in general (recently I've had bouts of anxiety but I don't know what I'm anxious about). He's not telling me that he doesn't want me to see a therapist or that he doesn't want to spend the $. He just doesn't understand why I feel that I need it. His mom struggled with severe anxiety when he was a kid, but he says I don't act like she did (she basically slept all day or stayed in her room. I can't do that with 5 kids home all day!)
I don't want this to sound like he's insensitive or unsupportive. He's an amazing husband. In his words, this is something he struggles to identify with because he's never dealt with anxiety.
So I'm not totally sure what my point is. I guess I'm struggling with deciding if therapy is worth the time and money it'll cost my family.