should I increase my dose?

[nicola1980]

Hi as many of you know I've been on 187.5mg of ven for a while now and apart from a few tiny blips I've been doing really well until January time when my mood lowered and the anxiety started creeping back in. I've had a very stressful few months though with my son being diagnosed with aspergers and chronic anxiety, I've had meetings after meetings with the school and his counsellor to get the support he needs and to be honest it's been a complete battle with his school to get him the help and support he needs but now that's all sorted and my son is a lot happier but I've gone downhill. My anxiety symptoms are back in full force, not sleeping, palpitations, restlessness, shakes, anxiety. At first I thought it was just a blip and got on with it but it's just not getting any better. I saw my physc at my routine appointment who was so rude and actually said to me that my son being diagnosed isn't life changing! I was so shocked of course it's life changing not just for me as a parent but for him and then when I asked how I manage this anxiety I'm suffering from she said well you've had it long enough! I left in absolute tears. My mum was absolutely fuming at her treatment of me so I saw my gp and I have refused to see her again, he was very shocked at the comments she had made and is trying to arrange for me to see somebody else but obviously this takes time but I don't have that as I can feel myself slipping further down, I'm now having full blown panic attacks again and the anxiety is constant, my weight has dropped to an unhealthy 8 stone and I feel like I'm just not coping. My gp prescribed me Diaz to help in the meantime which I don't like taking but have been doing occasionally. I'm seeing him again tomorrow and I'm tempted to ask him to increase my ven himself to 225mg to see if that slight increase will help. I'm really at a loss and feel very frightened at getting as poorly as I was before the ven and obviously it's going to take time for me to see another physc and I feel I don't have that as I'm slipping further down. I think everything with my son has just got on top of me and as much as I try I can't seem to pick myself up again. Sorry for the long post ××

[LIS]

Hi Nicola - I'm new to this site, but have spent the last few days reading different threads, as I'm going back on ven after having a hard time without it. I've read a few of your posts (many of them over on the thread with "Gav" - as I was interested in how the ven experience was helping him as he got on it, got better, went off it!, and relapsed).

Anyway, I've just been through a very stressful period and started having all the old symptoms (so I should have known better!) that I ignored until I was in a full-blown breakdown. I'm 47 and have been on and off ven for 15 years. I know all your symptoms - the shaking, panic attacks, obsessive thinking, crying, morning anxiety, etc.

Having read your posts from the past, and then this most recent one, it seems to me that you've just gone through an extremely stressful time with your son. My two cents is that you should stay where you're at with the ven, but definitely start a regular schedule with the diazepam (just for a few weeks - I know we're all so scared of getting addicted!). In addition, I would add a beta blocker (I take propranalol) on a regular schedule, too. And then concentrate on doing very little!! Take these extra meds that help with anxiety (throw in the odd gravol or benedryl if need be for sleeping or naps), reads lots of fun, light books. Go for walks. Do mindless house organizing if you're in that anxious, pacing sort of mood that won't even allow you to read a book. SLEEP LOTS. Be good to yourself, and stay away from anything stress provoking for awhile until you're stronger. You're just depleted after dealing with your son. Use the other meds - don't be afraid to. They'll help you be able to relax your frazzled nerves and build up strength again.

I think the addition of the anti anxiety meds (propranolol and diazepam) - taken regularly so they build up in your system - will calm you down and have you right as rain in a few weeks.
This is what has worked for me.

I also have a son diagnosed with GAD and OCD. He's 17 now, but there was a time when he was too anxious to go to school and I had to home school him (right after his dad decided he wanted to separate after 18 years of marriage). My son was in so much anxiety pain, he started cutting (lightly) and I had a breakdown then. So I know how much anxiety our children can cause us (especially when they're suffering).
I am happy to say that this year he graduates and is doing the best he's ever done - he plays rugby, volunteers at school, and has great friends. But I know this anxiety illness will always dog him (he takes Luvox).

You will feel better!! You just need to take some meds that give you the ability to relax and build up strength again. Your son is a unique, precious boy. Having a diagnosis for him is great in many ways - he'll be able to use all his special gifts and unique talents to make his way in the world. We're not all meant to be the same. Sometimes sorting out a diagnosis can allow someone to shine!

Sending you a big cyber hug from Canada:bighug1: You'll feel better soon, I promise!! Lisa

[nicola1980]

Hi Lisa, thank-you so much for your lovely reply. I think your totally right, I'm trying to fight the anxiety so much that I think I need to stop, take the Diaz and try and relax. My son was also self harming this time last year due to his extreme anxiety which was absolutely heartbreaking for me but I coped with it at the time and I think now he's a lot better I've just crashed, looking back I've been running on adrenaline for so long trying to help my son and get him the help and support he needed that I didn't actually see how it was effecting me but as mum's that's what we do for our children isn't it? Thank-you once again ××

[LIS]

Hi Nicola,
I hope you're doing a bit better today. I am always so afraid to take the anti anxiety meds (for me, I'm taking Clonazipam) because I don't want to get addicted. But, I really think they're necessary when the main symptom is anxiety. And I've been told to take them regularly when going through an anxious time because they work better when they have a chance to build up in the system. I think Clonazapam is worse than diazapam addiction wise (in fact, if I was ever hooked on Clonaz, I'd switch over to Diaz in order to come off them -- according to something called the Ashton Method).

Anyway, try getting on them regularly for a week and see how you go. Also, I don't know if you've used a beta-blocker, but I've found propranalol to help so much with the racing heart and palpitations, which then helps with the panic.

I've had such a hard time with morning anxiety, lately when I wake up (say around 6am) I immediately take a gravol (motion-sickness pill) and 20mg of propranalol and then I can go back to sleep for a few hours. When I wake up again, I'm not nearly as anxious. Then I take 20mg propranalol two more times during the day just to stay feeling calm. I plan on doing this until I'm a bit stronger and I've been on the ven for a longer period at 75mg.

You sound like a great mom! So take care of yourself and do what you need to bring your anxiety down so you can rest. Thinking of you! Lisa :yesyes: