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Frenchgirl
13-03-16, 05:28
Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with GAD about seven years ago and had panic disorder and some Ocd as well. I was on cipralex for most of the time. I stopped about a year ago when i was trying to get pregnant. My anxiety did get bad about 5 weeks and lost the baby at 8 weeks. We are now trying again but i have been having clusters of panic attack for 3 weeks now. I don't know what it is but it feels different it's like I have paranoia. I fear that things I have done in the past will come back at me and something bad will happen. Today I am obssessing about my carpet that is lifting at places and that I damaged it when I cleaned it and that I will be held responsible and have to pay to replace the entire carpet. I am having absolute obsessing thoughts that something bad will happen. I tried to do some cbt but can't get to beleive in the false thoughts and still beleive it will for sure 100% happen. I also get paranoid my emails are recorded forever on the "web" and my phone as been compromised , I'm being recorded or that there is big brother watching and that it could be used against me one day. I usually make the mistake to google everything and most of the time it scare me more and send me right into panic attack mode. I am scared that I am gonna lose everything I worked so hard for.

I am feeling that I don't have a choice to go back on meds now I have no quality of life and no interests in it either when I have a panic/obsessive episode.

I am now ten fold worried that I might hurt my baby if I'm pregnant by taking the medicine...

Has anyone had something like this happen?

ana
14-03-16, 14:27
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment. I can't personally relate to what you are going through, and I am by no means a mental health professional, but it definitely sounds like you might be experiencing OCD. If you are worried about causing harm to yourself or others, and if the obsessive thoughts and feelings are disruptive to your daily life, my advice would be to seek out help.
I hope all works out well for you.