LiveAboveIt
13-03-16, 15:43
It seems like thinking about the anxiety itself has become a panic trigger somehow.. It started with Citalopram, which Ive been on for a month now and my anxiety/panic is worse than I ever thought it could be.
I dont know if its the pill, but Ive been in a constant loop of anxiety.. Any tiny, brief negative thought of fear is causing flashes of panic.. Ive also developed bad intrusive thoughts, I know the thoughts are my subconscious, but it feels like a second motor in my head that is sending thoughts without my help.. I wouldnt even say they are always full fledged thoughts, maybe just feelings.. but it seems like Im in a crazy hypersensitized state where panic is flashed at the drop of a dime.
I will tell myself that its okay and its just anxiety or some other form of self reassurance and then a forceful thought will burst through saying something along the lines of "You cant stop thinking about this no matter what you do and its going to cause you to panic." And the panic immediately flashes and I get stuck in a struggle of worry and nor understanding why this is happening or why I dont have control of my own mind.
This is making me feel insane, like I have some crazy mental disorder besides GAD, or maybe something that cant be cured or fixed. I know this post is scary and high octane, but please dont be afraid to respond, reassurance is much needed.
Ive never had anxiety like this or the intrusive thoughts in my entire life, is it the Citalopram causing a horrid reaction, or are they just new symptoms of severely high anxiety?
Ive tried acceptance but the fear value and swiftness of each thought is incredible and they scare me because they seem to be created despite my help, but maybe Ive just misinterpreted it as that.
Thanks.
---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 ----------
I think my main problem is because the thoughts are so believable and real, I cant seem to dismiss them as just thoughts.. And this, too, terrifies me. The fact that I cant seem to stay mentally coherent and I quickly lose hope after constantly struggling to not believe the thoughts.. This always makes me fearful that something is wrong with my brain chemistry because I cant seem to remember or hold on to the positives and see the situation realistically, almost like I cant stay lucid or like being on drugs. Why cant I ever remember that its just anxiety and unwanted thoughts? Why do I feel so small compared to them and take them as fact? Is it just because the anxiety is so severe?
I dont know if its the pill, but Ive been in a constant loop of anxiety.. Any tiny, brief negative thought of fear is causing flashes of panic.. Ive also developed bad intrusive thoughts, I know the thoughts are my subconscious, but it feels like a second motor in my head that is sending thoughts without my help.. I wouldnt even say they are always full fledged thoughts, maybe just feelings.. but it seems like Im in a crazy hypersensitized state where panic is flashed at the drop of a dime.
I will tell myself that its okay and its just anxiety or some other form of self reassurance and then a forceful thought will burst through saying something along the lines of "You cant stop thinking about this no matter what you do and its going to cause you to panic." And the panic immediately flashes and I get stuck in a struggle of worry and nor understanding why this is happening or why I dont have control of my own mind.
This is making me feel insane, like I have some crazy mental disorder besides GAD, or maybe something that cant be cured or fixed. I know this post is scary and high octane, but please dont be afraid to respond, reassurance is much needed.
Ive never had anxiety like this or the intrusive thoughts in my entire life, is it the Citalopram causing a horrid reaction, or are they just new symptoms of severely high anxiety?
Ive tried acceptance but the fear value and swiftness of each thought is incredible and they scare me because they seem to be created despite my help, but maybe Ive just misinterpreted it as that.
Thanks.
---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 ----------
I think my main problem is because the thoughts are so believable and real, I cant seem to dismiss them as just thoughts.. And this, too, terrifies me. The fact that I cant seem to stay mentally coherent and I quickly lose hope after constantly struggling to not believe the thoughts.. This always makes me fearful that something is wrong with my brain chemistry because I cant seem to remember or hold on to the positives and see the situation realistically, almost like I cant stay lucid or like being on drugs. Why cant I ever remember that its just anxiety and unwanted thoughts? Why do I feel so small compared to them and take them as fact? Is it just because the anxiety is so severe?