One of those days.....

[pootle]

Before i start ranting, i want to make it clear that my sensible side realises that what i'm going through today is just a blip (things have been going okay for the last week). I just wish i didn't have to keep going through this.

Didn't sleep at all last night. I have sleeping pills (Zopiclone) for emergencies but by the time i realised i wasn't falling asleep it was too late to take one (about 5am). Went back to bed at about 8am and kind of dozed through the morning, got maybe 2 hours of very broken sleep.

I'm just feeling scared, a little confused, and a bit anxious about everything and nothing. I know that the lack of sleep is the cause of it, and that i've just got to get through the rest of the day but i'm just so tired of having to keep going through this.

Just needed to vent....

Andy (pootle)

[Meg]

Hi Andy ,

Glad to hear that you've been doing better this last week.. Great stuff .

It can be 2 steps forward , 1 back for a while especially with sleeping so good for you for recognising its just a blip ..

Hope you sleep like a log tonight !






Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[pips]

Hi Andy,

Sorry to hear you arn't feeling to good. I woke up feeling exactly the same today. Anxious low confused I haven't even got work today so just feeling anxious over nothing really. I didn't sleep well either but then I never do really. I've tried all sorts! It does get you down and fed up as you say!

Anyway just thought I'd let you know you are not alone. I have gone mad with the housework today which has been a good distraction!

Hope you feel better soon.

Take care

Love PIP'S X

[Karen]

Hi Andy

It is horrible not being able to sleep. I seem to have that problem all the time at the moment.

It's good you realise today is a blip.

Briary

[seh1980]

hi Andy,

I'm glad that you're not letting yourself get worked up over it! Staying positive always helps. We all get times when we have difficulty sleeping so don't worry, it will pass soon mate!!

Sarah :D

[nomorepanic]

Hi Andy

I always find that I feel worse after no sleep and I have never slept very well.

One thing that is worth trying is some herbal sleep remedies - Nytol or Valerian or a hot milky drink.

In July I gave up wheat as an experiment for other health problems and I started to sleep really well - right through till 6am. I then started wheat again cos it didn't cure my health issues and I notice that I have started sleeping really badly again.

So now I have to try and give it up again to see how it goes.

It takes time to find something that works but I also have tried relaxation tapes and one of those sound things that plays soothing music (waves etc).

I know it is hard cos I sleep so badly but you may find something that works for you out of the suggestions above.

I am hoping to sleep well tonight too!!

Nicola

[pootle]

Thank you all so much for your comments, you've really helped me through the day. It's not been easy but i've managed to get through it and even got a bit of work done and cooked dinner. It may not sound like much of an achievement but its a hell of a lot better than i managed last time i had a sleepless night:)

Still feeling very on-edge and occasionally getting caught out by the physical symptoms and "what-if" thoughts, but i know i've had worse days than this and lived to tell about them:)

Hopefully i'll get a good nights sleep tonight and everything will seem a lot better in the morning.

Andy (pootle)

[seh1980]

hi andy,

Glad to hear that you are managing ok!! Hope you have a good night's sleep tonight. Take care.

Sarah :D

[Meg]

Andy ,

Really pleased with your approach . Hasn't it improved these last few weeks .

Sit in a chair and flop like a raggedy Ann doll with a big long sigh out ... takes the edge off .



Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[pootle]

Hi Everyone,

Managed to get a good night's sleep last night and am feeling a fair bit better today. Still not quite back to where i was earlier in the week but at least it's better than yesterday.

Andy. (pootle)

[sal]

Hi Andy

Pleased you are feeling a bit better today mate.

We all hit the bad blips but good thing is we are all here for each othere.

Take care and let us know how you are.



Love Sal xxxxx

[pootle]

Just had another "one of those days" and am feeling very rough. This might turn into a long post (and probably a fragmented one) so bear with me.

Didn't sleep well last night (maybe an hour and a half), just couldn't get to sleep. Layed in bed in the morning worrying for a while before getting up feeling a bit anxious and very 'spaced'. My heart has been racing all day and i've tried to ignore it but ended up spending a large amount of time worrying about. I just can't keep the negative stuff out of my head when i'm tired .

I've tried so hard today to just get on with things as normal, i walked to the shop with my wife and then went to the doctor's surgery to hand in a prescription request. This evening i went with my wife and the kids to a Careers exhibition (my eldest stepson is taking his GCSEs this year) and somehow managed to hold myself together. It took about an hour to get there in the car because of the traffic and, after walking around for about an hour, it took another half hour to get home, i feel so exhausted.

I don't feel particularly panicky, just a bit anxious (too tired to panic i think), i just feel totally wrong, almost like i'm someone else. It's really hard to explain, familiar things on the journey home didn't look familiar even though i knew they were, it just feels like i'm in someone elses head:(

I've been walking around all day worried that i'm going to collapse or that my heart is going to give up on me. I know that these are irrational fears but i can't get them out of my head. I've kept these thoughts to myself for the most part, but i've been a bit tearful so the family know that something is up.

At the moment i'm finding it hard to see a way forward with my treatment. I'm still on a fairly low dose of the anti-depressants (Venlafaxine), because my GP is reluctant to increase the dose at the moment (they made me more anxious when i started on them and increased my heart-rate which is obviously one of my main worries still). He wants to wait until i've seen the Psychiatrist at the hospital before making any changes to my medication and the appointment is still two weeks away. I also have some other possible health problems at the moment which are going to take a while to resolve and are giving me more to worry about.

I was supposed to have my first CPN appointment today but the hospital have changed their minds and decided that it's not a good idea for her to treat both me and my wife (she was my wife's CPN first). I understand the decision (potential conflict of interest), i just wish they'd thought of this earlier. Now i have to wait for the hospital to arrange for someone else.

I just feel like i'm in a kind of no-mans land as far as treatment is concerned. I just have to wait for everyone to get their act together before i can go anywhere. It's all out of my hands.

I'm just feeling so awful this evening, i just can't keep the negative stuff out of my head. I know that i'll feel better tomorrow if i can sleep tonight, but i'm worried about taking the sleeping pills so often (i've already used them twice at the beginning of the week). I should really look at other ways of getting to sleep but i never seem get around to it.

Andy. (pootle)

[Meg]

Hi Andy,

You managed very well whilst feeling bad.

Do you use a relaxation Cd regularly ? Please don't underestimate the benefit of one when anxious . I couldn't use one when in actual panic but to avoid one it was great and to promote sleep .

Warm milk, warm lavender bath and all of that stuff you already know.

What nutritional supplements are you on ?

**i just feel totally wrong, almost like i'm someone else. It's really hard to explain, familiar things on the journey home didn't look familiar even though i knew they were, it just feels like i'm in someone elses head:(*
This sounds like depersonalization or derealization - a protective feature the brain exudes when its on overdrive . When you relax it will subside.

Its still early days on the venlaflaxine - but not all meds suit everybody .









Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[pootle]

Feeling a bit more like myself today and a bit more positive. I'm going to make a big effort to use relaxation tapes or CDs, i've only ever tried using them when i've been really panicky in the past and obviously not had much success. I'm downloading a couple of free ones in MP3 format that i found on a website at the moment, don't know if they're any good or not. I'm really not sure exactly what to look for, if you have any advice on which CDs are worth buying i'd be grateful.

I'm not taking any vitamins or nutritional supplements, maybe i should look into it. When i have a bad patch i end up hardly eating anything so it's probably a good idea.

The situation with the Venlafaxine is a tricky one. I know that it's helped me a great deal in the past (i was taking it for four years last time), but at the moment i'm taking half the dose i was on previously. I'm honestly not sure if it's helping me or not at the moment and, for the time being, i can't up the dosage. On the other hand i don't really want to stop taking it and try something else (more side effects, etc). Just have to wait a while and see what the doctors come up with.

Andy.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Andy

Sorry you are not feeling so good.

I agree with Meg about depersonalization - I used to get it all the while and hated it. It is as though you are not there isn't it.

As for relaxation tapes then try this site - http://www.hypnosisaudio.com/

I have got the Deep sleep one. You may find them a bit cheaper on Amazon or ebay though.

The other relaxation tape I have came from a guy that does Spiritual healing - very relaxing.

Everyone has their own preference for relaxation tapes - I prefer a male voice to a female one so it is hard to recommend a specific one.

Hope that helps.

Nicola

[jill]

Hi Andy,

Happy to hear you are feeling better today.
When we suffer with PA we have to learn how to relax. but we also have to learn how to distract oursleves. Trying to relax when we feel very panicky is hard this is the time to use distration. Maybe thats why it has not worked it the past. It do's help you just have to use it at the right time.

TAKE CARE

JILLXXX

[Meg]

The idea is to anchor a relaxation CD and voice in normal calm times so when you are anxious - almost just putting it on within minutes you calm down.





Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[sal]

Hi

Sorry another one of those bad days came around when you were feeling ok. Just remember they pass and things do get better in between and hopefully the bad days will get less and less.

Have a good weekend and take care of yourself.



Love Sal xxxxx