Friends

[Munki]

Anyone else feel like they have very few friends? I used to have so many but have downsized as I don't like the commitment. However, the likes of Facebook makes me feel completely inadequate. Everywhere I look and go (in real life) I seem to see huge groups of friends which makes me feel horribly unpopular.

My husband and I used to be very sociable but nowadays we're happy seeing people on occasion but spending time with the dog and doing our own thing. This feels wrong though. I just see people having parties and get together's with tons of people and I wonder how they maintain it. Is it because they're super sociable still? It's easier to be popular when you're still a big drinker and party animal.

It isn't just Facebook, it's all over. For my 40th I manically counted how many people I could invite to a party and got in a stress about it. In the end we went on a family holiday as I was too worried. I don't know why this matters so much to me - I have a lot of acquaintances and a few GOOD friends. I just stress that I couldn't hold a party. What's wrong with me??? Why do I value popularity as the utmost thing?

[NoPoet]

Yes, I've cut a lot of people out because they were using me or weren't really friends. Don't use Facebook to judge your popularity. You don't know how many people are actually reading everything you post, but not bothering to like or comment on it.

Bear in mind that a lot of people who seem super-popular have kids, which means they are forced to interact with the world on a daily basis, so of course they'll have a lot of connections. They'll need help with the kids, there are other parents and so on.

Some people who seem popular may have what I call "the popularity of a monkey in a zoo" - they may seem to have hundreds of hangers-on, but these people are not "true" friends, they are entertained by that person's outrageous behaviour. Maybe they're actually scared to look like they don't like these people as they would feel vulnerable to abuse or ridicule from them.

And the most popular people on facebook literally live online and message everyone about everything, even people they don't know that well.

[RyanTheWorrier]

I feel very lonely too as all of my close friends have moved away. It really is horrible to feel like that I know :(

[Munki]

Thanks so much, all.

It's the dreaded Facebook. I do have friends so I can't relate to having none I'm afraid. However, it's the horrid comparison thing that we do. It's awful.

I'm just tired of my heart sinking whenever I see groups of friends together.

And I hate myself for even stressing about it! It's pathetic. :ohmy:

[jumpingmuffin]

I felt the same with Facebook and the best thing I ever did was to set myself a challenge by not looking at it for 2 weeks, which I did and I have never looked back since. By not checking up on everyone else's so called 'pefect' lives I have managed to start focusing on mine. Just give it a go and you may see the benefits

[Chocolateface]

Yes I feel that I have few friends but it is the quality of the friendship not the quantity. Facebook is not a good guide on this as lots od people are friends with people they have only met once or twice, cherish and enjoy your friendships

[akb]

Most people have s couple of good friends plus acwuaintances. Facebook is a con, people just want to make out they are super popular when in reality they arent. Its normal for your circle of friends to decrease as you get older. As someone pointed out, women make new friends with other mothers when kid starts going to school.

I am on jail now and have no friends here not a single one

[Buster70]

Hi , I cut myself off from most of my freinds due to avoidance of get togetherness , I do talk to people each day walking my dog , I guess we need to be comfortable with the freinds we have and stop comparing our lives to others some people are happy on their own , as for Facebook if it makes you feel better I opened an account about a year ago and didn't send a single friend request didn't want to open another way of people bothering me , and most people on face book just moan about it and don't even know most of the so called freinds they have , take care