Onset of anxiety when partner travels

[duns]

Hello,

I haven't been here on some time and have been battling with anxiety. I always seem to have a flare up when my partner travels for buisness. He's going away again later today and returning on Friday. My anxiety stems from the fact that I'm imagining the worst case scenario and that I worry about traffic accidents, plane crashes (he's going on multiple flights), to various other issues. If I dont get a text back, I imagine that something awful has happened. There is then the seperation anxiety. I just can't seem to snap out of it and the last two weeks has been a constant build-up. I'd appreciate any advice as it interferes with everything. Such a horrible feeling and hard to explain to anyone.

Thank you.

[Seth86]

I think it's natural to have anxiety when worrying about the situation of somebody you care about traveling and have fears that something bad might happen! Best advice to you would be to see it as just that, don't feel like it's out of the ordinary otherwise you tend to panic about it more. Another thing is to try and focus on doing something you like to pass the time because if you don't time will just move slower and it will play with your mind.

[Chocolateface]

My hubby goes away for work too and it is natural to worry over these things. If he can't text you it is probably because he can't have his phone on or is driving or in a meeting. Try to stay distracted while he is away and the time will fly.

[duns]

Thank you for your replies, I absolutely agree that keeping busy is important. It's extremely tough go deal with and my mind is playing over various 'worse case scenarios', this then escalates and the problems become bigger and bigger. He returns late on Friday but even this time period seems unmanageable. I'm an an educated individual and should be able to think rationally but I just can't!

[Lucinda07]

I wonder if there is an underlying fear of abandonment/being alone. Did anything happen in the past?Perhaps this is contributing to your fears.
Plane travel is very safe. The chances of anything happening are minute.

[swgrl09]

My husband travels for work a lot. In the beginning, it was really hard for me. I would worry all the time about the worst possible things that could happen - especially if he didn't contact me during the day much. In reality, he was just busy working. But I was using catastrophic thinking.

Now he has had this job for 6 years and most of the time I am okay when he is gone for shorter trips. The longer ones still are hard on me. I try to make plans with friends and family if I can and keep myself busy. I will find a project or something to do - for example he just came home from a week and a half away, so I used the time to paint and redecorate our bathroom. It was something I that would distract me and I could feel good about. Is there anything you can do to keep your mind occupied?

[duns]

swgrl09, I also use catastrophic thinking and google all of the things that might happen whilst he is away. He's in India, which is his first visit so that's another source of anxiety for me. I'll wake up at random times, lose my appetite etc. It's great to hear that it's getting better for you. Similarly I can cope with the short European trips but it's the long haul ones that create a real sense of anxiety.

I'm at work tomorrow and the rest of the week, so I am hoping that should prove to be a distraction, I've also organised various mundane things for the early evening: dental appointment, hair cut etc. I think the project idea is a great one, I hope that he was pleased with your bathroom transformation.

Lucinda07, there are no real issues in the past although I am only child. It's got progressively worse as I've got older.

[swgrl09]

Oh, I definitely understand! Mine was in Japan last year and the 20+ hour flight scared me to death even though I have gotten used to him traveling. I do find work days are easier because they tire you out and keep you busy. He was pleased with the bathroom :)

It sounds like you are doing a really good job with making plans to keep busy! Hope the week goes well.

[duns]

A work trip to Japan must have been tough for you but so pleased that you got through it and that you're generally coping with his travel.

I think another one of my anxiety issues is that I fixate on certain issues and they then escalate. Google isn't particularly great for this and I'll see various news articles and think that they will happen to my partner. It's all so very draining.