MizukiiMoon
19-03-16, 11:57
Hello! I'm new to the forum. I wasn't sure whether to post this topic under symptoms, or GAD, but figured symptoms would be more fitting.
*LONG POST*
I'm not very good at these things lol But will try and explain as best I can, and hope that people can relate to what I'm experiencing!
I'm a 24 year old female with Asperger's Syndrome. I have extreme health anxiety, and was finally diagnosed with GAD last month. I have been massively anxious my entire life, any kind of noise, lights, pain, health issue, sets me off. It wasn't until I was 11 though, shortly after I hit puberty, my symptoms and major health worries started. It was thought to have been triggered by being severely bullied at school, and nearly having a breakdown and having to be home educated it was so bad.
I have an eye phobia. At 11 I started going to the opticians regularly because I would have 'flashing lights' 'misty vision' 'wobbly vision' 'small eyesight' you name it. But my eyesight itself even to this day has always been perfect and nothing has ever showed up. But each symptom would always go away with time and weren't what I call extreme.
The same year, 2003, I also developed vertigo. I would be bed ridden for a week at times with everything spinning. And at times I would very often get dizzy putting my head down to wash my hair, or turning over in bed at night, etc. But within a week, I would be fine and the symptoms subsided. I do believe I have an ear condition, which I inherited from my Mother. She went 4 years of not being able to go outside the front door in her 30's due to Meniere's.
When I was 12, I suffered massive headaches every single day for about 2 years, no painkiller ever worked, and it started after I left school. I went to the doctors every week and they could give me no explanation bar it being stress related. After 2 years of living with a headache every day, they eventually did stop, which did prove the doctor was right.
Fast forward to recent years.
My health anxieties have become much worse. Every day I think I'm dying of some deadly illness. I have kept a health diary every single day since 2005, I spend at least 2 hours a day every day scrolling Dr Google trying to self diagnose myself with my symptoms, and my symptoms have pretty much always been the same over and over.
I went on Citalopram for 3 years, which really did help a lot. But came off them last May, and started having health worries again since November. I refuse to ever go back on them due to the constant worry I had whilst I was on them and what I read about them damaging your brain after a long period of use. It also caused me to have permanent visual snow, which I have seen every day since 2009 when I started them.
Anyway! Regarding my current situation.
My Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer in November. He was often rushed to hospital struggling to breathe and stuff. And me being me, I subconsciously latched on to the situation, thinking I was ill myself. Within that time, I thought I had diabetes, lung cancer and ear cancer, all within the space of a month.
As for my current health state, it all started on 10th December. I have been ill since this very date and never recovered. It was the same day my Dad was told he would have to have his voice box removed.
Everything started wobbling and bouncing when I would walk, and even the slightest head movement be it brushing my hair or teeth, would cause everything to jiggle. And when I walk, the floor warps like mad. I must say, on 19th December the symptoms did subside for 10 days. But when I developed a cold on 30th December, the symptoms have stayed every day and I have suffered everything wobbling and warping around me with every head movement ever since. Is this normal, can this really be a symptom of GAD? I've had vertigo in the past, but this is different, this is more visual vertigo not room spinning vertigo like I used to have, and inner ear vertigo should last no more than a week.
Alongside this, I had massive head pressure for 2 months every day, which was unbearable. But did everything disappear. I would always get this with vertigo.
Since 12th February, I constantly see black, red or green round spots form in my vision, every single day. It's usually caused by a change in head position. I see them in both eyes.
My body doesn't feel right at all. It's not numb or tingly, but it feels abnormal, like I constantly need to go into a seizure (even though I've never had a seizure, hard to explain), especially my left leg. I especially feel ill having my head down, or laying in bed on my back.
I suffer with very bad nausea and tiredness every day constantly.
I developed 24/7 tinnitus in my left ear since the end of February.
Just this week, my latest symptom is I've developed depersonalisation/derealization. I feel like I'm existing, but dead. Everywhere I go I feel like I'm in a dream, when people speak it goes in one ear and out the other, I have no interests, I can't even listen to music as my brain can't process it. I literally feel brain dead!
And in myself, I feel extremely unwell. Like I have a deadly illness. It's a struggle to get out of bed, and when I do I end up crying most mornings with how ill I feel.
On 23rd February my Father was diagnosed as terminal and only had weeks left to live. He died on 5th March. My symptoms increased significantly the very same day he was diagnosed as terminal. Since that same day, I can no longer sit or sleep in my own bedroom, and I feel extremely frightened and insecure.
I must point out. I never get a headache, ever. I've never had a seizure, never fainted, I'm not in any pain and my mobility is fine.
Also, I am extremely anxious. But, I am anxious only because of my health worries. I cry every day, literally freak out screaming in fear and go completely off my head! I will then run to the doctors in fear. In fact, my doctors says I'm probably the most anxious person they have seen in all their years in practise. I sit all day every day ringing my hands, rubbing my legs, shaking, I am literally a completely and utter nervous wreck with fear.
I am at the doctors and hospitals every week, they all just say it's 'anxiety' and that with the symptoms I've had over the last 12 years I would be dead by now lol The doctors have never even heard of the symptoms I describe as what I have! They say it's all to do with my Dad being ill and dying, as the dates all tie up. I have had everything done. An eye test with a photo taken of my retina, blood test, ECG, blood pressure checked, and I am paying privately to have an MRI scan because I'm not convinced with it just all being 'anxiety', like, how can they be so sure.
So yes. I will stop rambling here lol So what do people think. Could these symptoms really be all just GAD, or something more serious? I have gone through self diagnosing of a brain tumour, oscillopsia, MS, you name it! My main extreme concern is everything wobbling, bouncing and warping when I walk every day without fail for 3 months, and circles forming in my vision constantly with every head movement. Has anyone else experienced this with GAD?
Thank you for reading until the end :)
*LONG POST*
I'm not very good at these things lol But will try and explain as best I can, and hope that people can relate to what I'm experiencing!
I'm a 24 year old female with Asperger's Syndrome. I have extreme health anxiety, and was finally diagnosed with GAD last month. I have been massively anxious my entire life, any kind of noise, lights, pain, health issue, sets me off. It wasn't until I was 11 though, shortly after I hit puberty, my symptoms and major health worries started. It was thought to have been triggered by being severely bullied at school, and nearly having a breakdown and having to be home educated it was so bad.
I have an eye phobia. At 11 I started going to the opticians regularly because I would have 'flashing lights' 'misty vision' 'wobbly vision' 'small eyesight' you name it. But my eyesight itself even to this day has always been perfect and nothing has ever showed up. But each symptom would always go away with time and weren't what I call extreme.
The same year, 2003, I also developed vertigo. I would be bed ridden for a week at times with everything spinning. And at times I would very often get dizzy putting my head down to wash my hair, or turning over in bed at night, etc. But within a week, I would be fine and the symptoms subsided. I do believe I have an ear condition, which I inherited from my Mother. She went 4 years of not being able to go outside the front door in her 30's due to Meniere's.
When I was 12, I suffered massive headaches every single day for about 2 years, no painkiller ever worked, and it started after I left school. I went to the doctors every week and they could give me no explanation bar it being stress related. After 2 years of living with a headache every day, they eventually did stop, which did prove the doctor was right.
Fast forward to recent years.
My health anxieties have become much worse. Every day I think I'm dying of some deadly illness. I have kept a health diary every single day since 2005, I spend at least 2 hours a day every day scrolling Dr Google trying to self diagnose myself with my symptoms, and my symptoms have pretty much always been the same over and over.
I went on Citalopram for 3 years, which really did help a lot. But came off them last May, and started having health worries again since November. I refuse to ever go back on them due to the constant worry I had whilst I was on them and what I read about them damaging your brain after a long period of use. It also caused me to have permanent visual snow, which I have seen every day since 2009 when I started them.
Anyway! Regarding my current situation.
My Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer in November. He was often rushed to hospital struggling to breathe and stuff. And me being me, I subconsciously latched on to the situation, thinking I was ill myself. Within that time, I thought I had diabetes, lung cancer and ear cancer, all within the space of a month.
As for my current health state, it all started on 10th December. I have been ill since this very date and never recovered. It was the same day my Dad was told he would have to have his voice box removed.
Everything started wobbling and bouncing when I would walk, and even the slightest head movement be it brushing my hair or teeth, would cause everything to jiggle. And when I walk, the floor warps like mad. I must say, on 19th December the symptoms did subside for 10 days. But when I developed a cold on 30th December, the symptoms have stayed every day and I have suffered everything wobbling and warping around me with every head movement ever since. Is this normal, can this really be a symptom of GAD? I've had vertigo in the past, but this is different, this is more visual vertigo not room spinning vertigo like I used to have, and inner ear vertigo should last no more than a week.
Alongside this, I had massive head pressure for 2 months every day, which was unbearable. But did everything disappear. I would always get this with vertigo.
Since 12th February, I constantly see black, red or green round spots form in my vision, every single day. It's usually caused by a change in head position. I see them in both eyes.
My body doesn't feel right at all. It's not numb or tingly, but it feels abnormal, like I constantly need to go into a seizure (even though I've never had a seizure, hard to explain), especially my left leg. I especially feel ill having my head down, or laying in bed on my back.
I suffer with very bad nausea and tiredness every day constantly.
I developed 24/7 tinnitus in my left ear since the end of February.
Just this week, my latest symptom is I've developed depersonalisation/derealization. I feel like I'm existing, but dead. Everywhere I go I feel like I'm in a dream, when people speak it goes in one ear and out the other, I have no interests, I can't even listen to music as my brain can't process it. I literally feel brain dead!
And in myself, I feel extremely unwell. Like I have a deadly illness. It's a struggle to get out of bed, and when I do I end up crying most mornings with how ill I feel.
On 23rd February my Father was diagnosed as terminal and only had weeks left to live. He died on 5th March. My symptoms increased significantly the very same day he was diagnosed as terminal. Since that same day, I can no longer sit or sleep in my own bedroom, and I feel extremely frightened and insecure.
I must point out. I never get a headache, ever. I've never had a seizure, never fainted, I'm not in any pain and my mobility is fine.
Also, I am extremely anxious. But, I am anxious only because of my health worries. I cry every day, literally freak out screaming in fear and go completely off my head! I will then run to the doctors in fear. In fact, my doctors says I'm probably the most anxious person they have seen in all their years in practise. I sit all day every day ringing my hands, rubbing my legs, shaking, I am literally a completely and utter nervous wreck with fear.
I am at the doctors and hospitals every week, they all just say it's 'anxiety' and that with the symptoms I've had over the last 12 years I would be dead by now lol The doctors have never even heard of the symptoms I describe as what I have! They say it's all to do with my Dad being ill and dying, as the dates all tie up. I have had everything done. An eye test with a photo taken of my retina, blood test, ECG, blood pressure checked, and I am paying privately to have an MRI scan because I'm not convinced with it just all being 'anxiety', like, how can they be so sure.
So yes. I will stop rambling here lol So what do people think. Could these symptoms really be all just GAD, or something more serious? I have gone through self diagnosing of a brain tumour, oscillopsia, MS, you name it! My main extreme concern is everything wobbling, bouncing and warping when I walk every day without fail for 3 months, and circles forming in my vision constantly with every head movement. Has anyone else experienced this with GAD?
Thank you for reading until the end :)