grillerg
19-03-16, 21:02
Ok I'll keep this short as possible. I'm Simon, 27 year old fruitcake ;)
I've had mental health issues since I was about 11/12 years old. Never did anything about it, and it evolved into something real bad. Last September it went into overload, and within 2 weeks I'd lost my girlfriend, my house, my job, my car and nearly all of my friends.
First time in over 15 years I went to the doctors, was filled with medication for depression and anxiety, and was referred to a mental health clinic on 12th October 2015. January comes along and I finally get seen. Was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression and BPD.
In the final months of last year and January/February this year I attempted suicide twice, I drank spirits nonstop until I threw up, self harmed almost daily (in all sorts of weird ways!). Stopped caring about my appearance and physical health, stopped taking all meds perscribed to me and even started sleeping around like a loon :/ Totally went downhill.
Meanwhile I was able to see therapists twice in the space of 4 months, I would tell them how bad I am and how I'm terrified I'll either hurt myself or others, as unwanted violent thoughts are common for me, and get heavier and heavier with time. And honestly, nothing happened. They did nothing for me at all except "ok well you may need CBT, but we cant offer it for another 3 months". Now I know the NHS is struggling in the mental health department, but seriously I was sort of a desperate case right??
In the last month I've tried SO hard to fix myself, I've quit smoking and quit drinking 100%, I try my absolute hardest to leave the house as often as possible. I've applied for jobs, my depression is at an all time low and the self harm is on hold for now.
I've had a letter through from this clinic asking me to attend another consultation, and the letter states that no therapy will occur at this meeting... again. I threw the letter in the bin.
I've given up on getting help from clinics, I'm clearly not that ill and dont require their attention. For now I'm going to carry on trying to mend myself as so far, ironically, my only bit of success has come from myself. Should I continue my goal of "curing" myself? Or does anyone have any suggestions on where/what I can do? I've even thought going private, but with no job or benefits I cant afford a freddo these days let alone private therapy.
Cheers guys.
--Sorry I lied about this being short ;)
I've had mental health issues since I was about 11/12 years old. Never did anything about it, and it evolved into something real bad. Last September it went into overload, and within 2 weeks I'd lost my girlfriend, my house, my job, my car and nearly all of my friends.
First time in over 15 years I went to the doctors, was filled with medication for depression and anxiety, and was referred to a mental health clinic on 12th October 2015. January comes along and I finally get seen. Was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression and BPD.
In the final months of last year and January/February this year I attempted suicide twice, I drank spirits nonstop until I threw up, self harmed almost daily (in all sorts of weird ways!). Stopped caring about my appearance and physical health, stopped taking all meds perscribed to me and even started sleeping around like a loon :/ Totally went downhill.
Meanwhile I was able to see therapists twice in the space of 4 months, I would tell them how bad I am and how I'm terrified I'll either hurt myself or others, as unwanted violent thoughts are common for me, and get heavier and heavier with time. And honestly, nothing happened. They did nothing for me at all except "ok well you may need CBT, but we cant offer it for another 3 months". Now I know the NHS is struggling in the mental health department, but seriously I was sort of a desperate case right??
In the last month I've tried SO hard to fix myself, I've quit smoking and quit drinking 100%, I try my absolute hardest to leave the house as often as possible. I've applied for jobs, my depression is at an all time low and the self harm is on hold for now.
I've had a letter through from this clinic asking me to attend another consultation, and the letter states that no therapy will occur at this meeting... again. I threw the letter in the bin.
I've given up on getting help from clinics, I'm clearly not that ill and dont require their attention. For now I'm going to carry on trying to mend myself as so far, ironically, my only bit of success has come from myself. Should I continue my goal of "curing" myself? Or does anyone have any suggestions on where/what I can do? I've even thought going private, but with no job or benefits I cant afford a freddo these days let alone private therapy.
Cheers guys.
--Sorry I lied about this being short ;)