PanickyPolly
04-03-07, 17:08
Wasn't sure where to post this so it's going here.
As it was a lunar eclipse yesterday I did a ritual (I'm Pagan) and the energy that came frm it was overwhelming. Not sure this has anything to do with what I just did but it probably has. I just took a scooby doo poster off my bedroom wall. OK you can stop laughing now. I'm 31 and I still had a poster of scooby doo on my wall. Also I had a hat with flowers on. A big straw hat with big yellow flowers on that resembled one I wore as a child. I looked at it and I thought...they've got to go. It just felt rediculous holding on to those things and I felt like I was holding on to a part of my childhood I should let go of. Like part of me wanted to still be a little girl so I took them down. It feels funny and it wasn't easy as crazy as that might sound but I did it and I'm glad I di it. My life has changed and I have changed so much with it over the past month I can't begin to tell you and I feel it's time to get the real me working. I feel like I've never been the real me as I've been so bogged down with depression and anxiety and other probelms but now I feel the real me is wanted to get out. She's finding it hard as the life she's come into is the one mapped out by the old me and she doesn't like it one bit and it's very frustrating because she wants everything to be as she likes it all at once but it doesn't work like that so she has to be very patient but I hope we're getting there. I say we as there's till a small part of the old me lfe. Been terrified today. Shaking and trembling and jumping and twitching but I know that part of me wil die too and the energy form that death will be transmuted for the good until all that's left is the new me. I almost feel like the new me has been living in a cave all my life just waiting to see the light. Well now the light is here.
As it was a lunar eclipse yesterday I did a ritual (I'm Pagan) and the energy that came frm it was overwhelming. Not sure this has anything to do with what I just did but it probably has. I just took a scooby doo poster off my bedroom wall. OK you can stop laughing now. I'm 31 and I still had a poster of scooby doo on my wall. Also I had a hat with flowers on. A big straw hat with big yellow flowers on that resembled one I wore as a child. I looked at it and I thought...they've got to go. It just felt rediculous holding on to those things and I felt like I was holding on to a part of my childhood I should let go of. Like part of me wanted to still be a little girl so I took them down. It feels funny and it wasn't easy as crazy as that might sound but I did it and I'm glad I di it. My life has changed and I have changed so much with it over the past month I can't begin to tell you and I feel it's time to get the real me working. I feel like I've never been the real me as I've been so bogged down with depression and anxiety and other probelms but now I feel the real me is wanted to get out. She's finding it hard as the life she's come into is the one mapped out by the old me and she doesn't like it one bit and it's very frustrating because she wants everything to be as she likes it all at once but it doesn't work like that so she has to be very patient but I hope we're getting there. I say we as there's till a small part of the old me lfe. Been terrified today. Shaking and trembling and jumping and twitching but I know that part of me wil die too and the energy form that death will be transmuted for the good until all that's left is the new me. I almost feel like the new me has been living in a cave all my life just waiting to see the light. Well now the light is here.