I can't seem to help my girlfriend with health anxiety

[allmylife1977]

My girlfriend, who I love very much, suffers from terrible health anxiety. She has, in the past, suffered from Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). These have been occasional and she could normally get rid of them with excersise.

However over the past few weeks they have been continuing and she's now convinced she's dying. We've been to A&E and the Doctors in the last two weeks and both times they've reassured her that they are more then likely benign and not to worry but nothing seems to calm her fears. She's convinced that the palpatations are a symptom of something worse and nothing anyone says seems to convince her.

Ive tried to be positive and point out that her worries are because of her health anxiety and if there were an underlying health issues there would be other symptoms.

She's eating and yesterday we even went on a 10K run but even the fact we did the run at a fairly quick pace hasn't helped. I pointed out that if it were serious, there's no way we could run for 6 miles!!

What's the best way to help her? She has been prescribed anti-depressents but is too scared to take them.

[Lifelonganxiety!]

I think the anxiety feeds into the symptom and makes it worse.

When I first moved to the USA about 10 years ago, I went through a period of palpitations/PVCs for a few months. I didn't feel particularly stressed but I presume I was deep down.

Being calm, and accepting that this is benign should go some way to helping. Reducing stress in any other areas might help also. Oh, and honestly - eating bananas and drinking gatorade! Whenever I have a period of PVCs the potassium in bananas helps to control it.

As she is afraid of the medication (totally understandable) then maybe something less mind altering like therapy might help. Just talking about this sort of thing - the fear and the physical symptoms - can make you realize it's benign and once the fear goes, the symptoms seem a LOT better.

[allmylife1977]

Thanks. I'm trying to reduce her "other stress". The hurdle is I can't seem to convince her that they are benign.

[ker92ri]

This is so lovely (not your girlfriends HA) but the fact you are so supportive. My own partner struggles with this and can sometimes get angry or just plain fed up ( I don't blame him, I can be a nightmare sometimes). I think all you can do is continue with what you're doing. I'm going through a particularly bad episode at the minute and it doesn't matter what my boyfriend or anyone else tells me, I can't seem to shake the thoughts. That being said, a good support network is essential with this because it is a very lonely place. Has your girlfriend tried counselling, or some form of CBT. A low dose of anti depressant might also help to take the edge off.

I hope she feels better soon.

[countrygirl]

Tell her my story and hopefully it will reassure her she is not alone and its not harmful.
I am now 54 yrs old but when i was 25yrs old I started to get these ectopic heartbeats ( pvc's) like your girlfriend and at their worst every 3rd heartbeat for me was a pvc. They feel awful as I could feel the thump in my chest/neck and felt a split second wooziness as well. I was totally convinced my time was up. Over the next 20 years every 3-4 years I would have another 24 hr ecg which would show up these pvc's. I saw 3 cardiologists who all said that pvc's are horrible but harmless and they are only ever felt by very anxious people. Other people have them but they don't even notice them and if medical staff see them on an ecg the ecg is considered normal as theya re a normal variation of heartbeat. This helped me alot and obviously if they ahd been harmful I would not be typing this!
Practically cut out all caffeine and alcohol as these both made mine worse and don't eat big meals or skip meals. Mine were at their worse when I was convinced they were harmful and once I accepted they were not then they eased off tremendously. I still get them every day but nothing compared to years ago.

[Lifelonganxiety!]

Totally agree with the caffeine. If your gf drinks a lot of it, then definitely cut back!

[allmylife1977]

Thanks for all your feedback. She's completely cut back on caffeine. I had a very informative chat with her last night and learnt a couple of things.
Firstly, when she's in the midst of a panic , cold hard logic has absolutely no effect. Simply she can't hear me. So it comes out as confrontational. Better to wait for the panic to pass and talk then.

[LouiseHannah]

Hi,
just wanted to echo that it's lovely you're being so supportive. I've currently convinced myself I've got mouth cancer and despite seeing two doctors and all my loved ones trying to reassure me once it's in my head it's in my head. Just keep doing what you're doing, hope you both feel better soon!

[Traceypo]

I admire you for wanting to support your partner, I understand from her point of view about when she's in panic mode, there's not a lot you can say to help her think more logically. When she's like that, give her a hug, try to distract her with a film she finds funny, make her feel safe.
Most areas of England offer self referral for therapy, I've done CBT and found it very useful to learn techniques to prevent full panic mode and how to think more rationally, Google iapt services or talking therapies for your area.
Anxiety is very scary, it's like being on high alert all day and it's exhausting.
Xx

[livefree83]

I have skipped beats as well and have had them on a d off for many years. Last year i reached my breaking point. I decided to go to a cardiologist and have testing done. I had an echocardiogram a full physical and wore a 24 hour holter monitor. Everything came back normal and i finally accepted that i was not in danger and it was also due to stress. I still get them when i am stressed or drink too much coffee. They are annoying but will not hurt me. You should talk to her about going to a cardiologist so she can finally get reassured she is healthy. I know how she feels...i was there too. She will be fine...she just has to believe it. You are a good guy....my husband puts up with my health worries too...lol! Good luck to the both of you.

[allmylife1977]

She has another appointment at the doctor's today. Unfortunately I can't go with her as I've got to work. I have encouraged her to talk to the doctor not just about the PVCs but also the anxiety they cause.

[Nzxt27]

I hope all goes well. Anxiety sucks for sure. And it's hard for people without anxiety to understand it.

It's nice to know you are trying to help her. My gf gets mad at me sometimes but I know she still loves me. It gets me down because sometimes I think I am dying and going to leave her behind and I feel bad for that. Like I am letting her down.. But I am working on that.