Ear problems? Need help :( [Archive]

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 19:41

I need some help here.. Some rational help and someone to help talk me through this,

I made a post a few days ago about how a commercial about head/neck cancer caused me anxiety that I had it. I looked up the symptoms and I saw ear pain as one and I've been having some ear pain like acheyness off and on.
Well ever since them I've been focusing a lot on my ear and it's driving me crazy.
Saturday night I felt like my ear felt weird like a fullness.. Like it just felt weird. The hearing seemed off too but when I make noise in it I can hear fine.
I'm starting to get really upset & scared. I wanna go to the hospital but I'm terrified what they'll say like its cancer. I haven't been googling since the head/neck cancer scare. But I did Google today "ear wax in ear" and looked up about ear wax blockage being a possible cause.. Symptoms were things like ear pain, ear fullness, hearing loss, itchiness in ear.. (And so on)
I do seem to have a lot of those symptoms buts not so much the hearing loss.
I'm scared though because it said to get it looked at because it could be caused by other things as well.. (Scared of what the others things could be)
And I'm scared I could get permanent hearing loss of I don't go get it looked at.
:( I'm so freaked out I don't know what to do.. I wanna go to the hospital but at the same time I'm terrified. I'm scared of it not being anything benign but something serious and I'm gonna die. I can't stay rational because I wanna go to the hospital so that it causing my anxiety to be 100x worse right now.
I don't know what to do.. I'm totally spinning in fear right now.

Traceypo

21-03-16, 19:54

Hi hun, I've had ear problems for years and I'm still here. I get all the symptoms you describe, I've had hearing tests and my hearing is still perfect. Sometimes I need antibiotics as it gets infected, been checked at ent 3 times, they just put it down to 'one of those thing's, try to keep ears dry etc.
Xxx

MrsDavies

21-03-16, 19:56

Hello :)
I have had the same sort of fears so I can really understand what your going through. All the symptoms you have described are symptoms of anxiety and wax build up. As far as I can tell, from what you've explained, it really seems that these symptoms have been brought on by the advertisements that you have seen and I think you've been focusing on every little twinge, ache or strange feeling in that region and then freaked out from the slightest sensation which has sent you into a spiral of anxiety and now it's all you can think of. This, as you probably already know, only makes sensations in that region 10 times worse and more noticeable. My guess is it's probably all down to anxiety and because your so focused on that area, your experiencing your symptoms there.

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 20:15

I really appreciate you're replies. I get so upset and scared that hearing things like that really helps me.
I'm crying because my boyfriend and I just got into an argument because he's mad at me for getting upset about something again. I feel like everyone always gets mad at me and it makes everything so much worse because I'll feel so alone and hurt. I'm afraid to ask my boyfriends mom to go to the hospital because I don't want her to get irritated with me. She's probably busy and I hate feeling like a bother. I just feel like I get no support and everyone just thinks it's me crying wolf again. I really do feel like my ear is feeling funny and I wanna go to get it checked but like I said I'm scared and now I'm hurt and emotional because my boyfriend yelled at me and now I'm too afraid to ask to go to the hospital. I feel alone.
So like I said I really appreciate your replies because that's what I was looking for not to be yelled at and told I'm fine or its all in my head because it might not be.
I appreciate the support here so much :( i don't know what I'd do without this site.

Nzxt27

21-03-16, 20:23

It's hard talking to people around you that doesn't know what it is like.

sammie13s

21-03-16, 20:25

I no going to the hospital is only a short term fix and your mental state of mind not his. If you getting checked over will make you better then go hunni. Sod him xx

---------- Post added at 20:25 ---------- Previous post was at 20:25 ----------

And just to add my partner is exactly the same. Xx

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 20:35

Nzxt27- exactly /:

And it sucks Sammie, you expect them to be there for you but they just get mad and it makes the whole situation so much worse. My problem is that I'm extremely scared of hospitals and getting checked up so me wanting to go is hard enough on me as it is and then to have everyone be mad at me makes my anxiety and my emotional state worse. :(

sammie13s

21-03-16, 20:41

I no exactly how you feel. My partner just shouts at me and totally makes the situation worse. He says I'm making him depressed with all this and he can't cope anymore... Errrrrr well fecking help me then. And him telling that really does not make me feel better. I'm always scared of telling him how I'm feeling incase he shouts or leaves �� Im currently 6 weeks pregnant and suffering terribly with de realisation. Every minute of everyday is a battle for me. Nothing seems real and I question everything I do. And I feel very alone xxx

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 21:41

I feel for you Sammie :( maybe the baby will bring you closer or it will distract you from worrying about things so much? I guess with the baby coming it's a lot for both of you and you're worrying about things and he doesn't know how to deal. It's still not fair to you or me though, they could at least show a little compassion.. It's not like we wanna feel like this either! I can totally relate to feeling more alone and feeling nervous to even tell him what I'm worrying about because it's like talking to a brick wall. They don't understand and all my bf can say is that "I'm fine" or "I'm causing all this myself with worrying" and then we argue a lil. God forbid anything is really wrong with me :( maybe then he'll understand

---------- Post added at 17:41 ---------- Previous post was at 17:01 ----------

I'm here by myself at the moment, everyone's at work. I always feel more in my thoughts when I'm alone. Can't stop worrying about my ear and what's causing it and worrying if it's something bad. I doubt I'll be able to go to the hospital today because my bf works till midnight and I hate to keep his mom up late taking me to the hospital. My ear is just bothering me and thinking about it is making everything worse I feel like. I'm scared what's gonna happen I keep hoping I'll be alright and it's nothing bad. I hate health anxiety so much.. I can't stop imagining the worst scenario. I just hope it's just ear wax buildup or something. I'm worried I'll lose hearing or something. I just can't get outta my head. I'm so worried! :scared15:

nirvanainchains

21-03-16, 21:54

When you register something in your head, it becomes a symptom. Just like when I was anxious about HIV, the symptoms came out like a mushroom, then Lung Cancer, symptoms also came out, and so on. That is how HA is really damaging our body, if you have the money then you need help, try CBT or talk to a professional about HYPOCHRONDIA

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 22:26

Fishmanpa

21-03-16, 22:46

Definitely see your doctor and get it checked out. While you're there, ask about a referral for some help with your anxiety. Believe me, if you show you're making an effort to help yourself, your relationship with your boyfriend as well as his mother will vastly improve and they will encourage you knowing that you're trying.

Positive thoughts

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 22:51

I definitely will get it checked :( as scared as I am I do wanna get it checked.
I hope I'm alright and it's nothing too serious.. :unsure:
Thanks fishmanpa/:

MyNameIsTerry

21-03-16, 23:31

Savanna,

Remember what we said before - a doctor doesn't just look at symptoms in isolation.

When you search for something, you are likely to find something life threatening and that can simply because it's a symptom seen along with that serious issue, not always an indicating symptom. Also, a lot of symptoms overlap between a lot of issues ranging from minor to major.

Think about fatigue. People with cancer experience this BUT so do people with many other things including cold & flu.

Looking at commercials. Blood in poo is a classic. Whilst it can be a sign of cancer, its also a sign of extremely common conditions like roids or fissures. People post about this and after some questioning you find out they have been straining or had constipation. A doctor hearing that after questioning will examine you for those things and any likelihood of cancer is gone because they have found symptoms that do not present as cancer.

Now relate that to you. Tonsil stones. Known to carry bacteria. You've been dislodging them. Dentists prefer to treat infection before removing a tooth otherwise infection can spread. Where you have been having problems are close to where the tonsil stones were removed from. Lymph nodes react to localised infection. You are wearing a retainer potentially when not needed and not cleaning it daily, or weren't, and these cause build up of bacteria.

Can you see all flags to a doctor is there that this is NOT anything sinister?

The rest is HA thinking. Skewed & biased. Work on this element to prevent spiralling in the future.

No need for a hospital, see a GP. And a dentist about the retainer.

Savvy_Darling

21-03-16, 23:49

I've been dislodging a lot of them lately trying to stay on top of it.
I haven't been wearing my retainer every night lately also.
I feel like that lymph node we were talking about has gotten smaller.
I've just been worried about the ear issues though, acheyness that come n goes and it just feels odd like full I guess. My hearing seems a tad off too I feel like. I've tried to rationalize with ear wax buildup or maybe an infection (the infection one worries me though, like it's gonna spread to my brain.. But I don't really have symptoms of an infection more so the ear wax buildup) but I am still worried about what the doctor will say. I'm battling between the rational thoughts and the negative scary thoughts.
Thanks Terry :(

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 00:54

You can pm me anytime you need to talk. I check this site pretty regular and I know how it is to have people not understand. But we can get through this.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 02:27

I just got done asking my bfs mom to take me to get it checked out tomorrow and I'm sick of everyone just acting like its no big deal. She just went through things like , it's the weather or if I put anything in my ears like I just wanna go get it checked out and she just seemed to not wanna take me. Like I'm just upset now, crying again alone because I finally am forcing myself to go to the hospital which is one of my fears & everyone are just discounting my wanting to go. My ear is bothering me now because I'm so upset. Like I just wanna know what's wrong. I guess I'll have to force her to take me (which I hate to do).
Just seems like no one cares about me or how I feel.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 02:38

Savvy. I felt the same way when I was super worried about my stuff. It's hard for others to understand. And when doctors say your fine in front of them it's even harder for them to understand.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 02:55

Ugh Nzxt I pray that they will tell me I'm fine. I'll feel so happy if they tell me I'm fine. I do feel like something is up with my ear though & it's frustrating me and scaring me. I just want the people I care about to care about me.. I feel alone & scared. More than anything I wanna be told I'm okay or that whatever is wrong isn't something bad or will kill me.

One thing my moms be told me was that maybe I popped my ear drum which scares me so what I won't be able to feel like my ear will be normal again? /(
I'm so stressed out and I'm scared about going to the doctors but at the same time I can't wait to go.. I just want to be told I'm okay.. I'm afraid that it's not gonna be like that which stresses me even more. :( I hate this.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 03:10

You can recover from busted ear drum. But busted ear drum would bleed.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 03:26

Yeah... Don't think I blew an ear drum then.
And apparently an ear infection is really painful and you usually have a fever which I don't have.
I'm thinking ear wax buildup or something. Or its something actually bad... :shrug: I just don't know anymore.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 03:30

Well from experience. I had ear wax build up before and it got bad and felt like someone stabbing me in the ear I actually went to the ER fit it and all they done was take a syringe and warm water mixed with proxcide and flush it out. And they charged $850. Last time my ear started hurting kinda bad I did it myself at home.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 03:57

Well I have health insurance at least or else I definitely couldn't afford that!!!

Did it feel like your hearing was weird or that ear felt full or just weird ? I get the pain but it comes and goes and it's like an achey feeling.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 04:05

It's been awhile but if I'm not mistaking it does feel like something block and it was hard to hear out of that ear. And it for sure ached. When I woke up it felt like someone really stabbing the side of my head. Pain was unreal. I drove myself to the ER ASAP. It got block so bad it was close to busting my ear drum the doctor said.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 04:10

Oh man!! My pain hasn't gotten that bad so I guess it hasn't gotten as blocked as yours was maybe. Yeah that's sort of how mine feels.. Really hoping that's all it is and they can flush it like they did yours.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 04:16

Yeah you could try some q tips see if some big chunks of ear wax comes out. I doubt it's nothing bad.

MyNameIsTerry

22-03-16, 04:49

Savanna,

I don't know how your BF's mum has handled this but the things you are saying she has asked are what my mum would be saying to me. The thing is, assuming your hospitals work like ours, it will mean attending an ER and unless you are an emergency, you should always see a non emergency service whether it is making an appointment at your GP's or contacting a non emergency service for an out of hours call. Your BF's mum will be thinking about the hospital in this and how you should never go near the places unless you truly need emergency medical care.

Over here if you went in with something like this you would likely be seen as so minor you would be waiting around for hours. Then you get examined, maybe some tests and sent on your way saying you are fine or that the issue is for a GP to treat and not them. It happens plenty on NMP when this happens. Other than them referring you wait more hours for an on call psychiatrist to determine if you need sectioning (which you don't), that's probably all. Maybe they will give you some treatment if they find some obstruction or something but otherwise if it's something like an infection, they will push you back to your GP.

I think your BF's mum should steer you away from a hospital visit and encourage you to see your GP. The hospital won't care about your anxiety in all this, other than the sectioning process, because they are not there for that. Your GP can refer you for therapy or provide meds and can manage your case, the hospital will boot you out as soon as possible and refer you back.

So, can you possibly see that her lack of action and questions are to determine whether you need emergency medical care or whether this is about your anxiety? If it's about the latter then the hospital will provide you with reassurance, but if that means hearing you are fine and your anxiety going away for good, it's not an anxiety disorder.

From your posting, an anxiety disorder is very likely and reassurance will be temporary. The minute another trigger comes along, unless you have learned to handle them and reduce your reactions, you will start the panic cycle again. I think the longer you are on here, the more you will see people do just this after thinking they are now "ok". They are not, the way their thinking style works that shows the lack of rationalisation, the Cognitive Distortions and the level of anxiety involved, only points towards disorders and they will just come back unless recovered from like any medical problem.

I hope you understand this. I don't judge people who end up in hospitals over these issues, anxiety can be terrifying as I well know, but we also need to consider outside of our current focus too and see how loved ones can be seeing the true situation that our thinking is blighting.

Frustration will happen in relationships over many things and I'm going to assume your BF is a young guy so he's not got the benefit of experience of people who've been through it if he hasn't or learned some of the lessons in life that mature us to be able to understand complex issues like this.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 04:54

Terry my ear is just really bothering me like I don't even wanna wait and call and wait for an appointment. It's annoying me feeling like I can't hear right out of it or like there's sow thing plugging it. Like it's really driving me nuts. I don't know what it is and maybe it is something that needs looked at ASAP but maybe not I just don't wanna wait for an appointment. I wanna feel better or get help as soon as I can.
That's why I wanna go to the hospital. /:

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 05:03

I would try the syringe and proxcide mixed with warm water first. If it's clogged up you will know. It's nasty what will come out. I mean it's up to you but just doing that will only run you like $5-$10 In supplies.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 05:24

I'm just worried I won't do it right or I'll make it worse.. Like if I have a perforated ear drum (not sure if I do) that it can make things worse that's why I'm nervous to try home removal or else I totally would. I just don't wanna mess anything up ya know.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 05:30

Yeah I understand. Well keep us updated what they say.

MyNameIsTerry

22-03-16, 05:38

A perforated ear drum usually heals itself. It's only big holes that need intervention. One possible cause of it is a middle ear infection. Other causes tend to be more about damage from loud noise, air pressure (think airplanes or scuba), trauma by a physical blow, etc.

Any GP can just shine a light down your ear and check that. If it's a middle ear infection, they usually go in a few days or a GP may prescribe antibiotics.

There are some practical things you can do if it is a perforation, such as:

Placing a warm flannel against the affected ear may also help relieve the pain.

You can reduce your risk of developing an infection by keeping your ear dry until it's healed. Don't go swimming, and cover your ears when having a shower.

How about trying something like that and taking pain killers for a day or two and seeing how you feel?

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 05:46

Terry the pain comes and goes and is only mild. What's bothering me is feeling like something is blocking my ear hole like its clogged or full. My hearing feels a tad different in it as well. This happened like Saturday but the random ear pain has been around for weeks.
It says not to put cotton swabs or anything in your ear because it could push wax further.
The feeling of fullness is what is seriously maddening. When I talk it just feel like my left ear has something in it or i don't know it's hard to explain just a muffled feeling I guess. Not normal like my right ear that's all I know. :( I'm gonna go crazy with this feeling. I hate it. I hope it's just wax.

MyNameIsTerry

22-03-16, 07:35

If it's a wax build up and one of those kits could help, could your BF or his mum help with doing it if you are worried about doing it wrong?

If it did turn out to be something like a middle ear infection, antibiotics will take time to work. With the ear pain being there before, it could be a perforation that has become infected and so seeing a doctor is a good course of action, but a GP rather than ER. They would only need to have a look down there for a few seconds to spot it. If it's gone on over a few days, checking with them is something worth doing.

I know it's maddening for you, when we get worked up we just want it all to stop right NOW NOW NOW! It's very frustrating and we feel more tense. But we have to tell ourselves that this cannot harm us, it is only unpleasant, just like with our symptoms. You certainly won't go crazy, but you will keep upsetting yourself the more you fight with it.

What can you do to try to calm yourself down? What distractions help to divert your focus away from immediate symptoms? If you can reduce the anxiety, you may feel more able to cope with it all.

nirvanainchains

22-03-16, 09:10

You're right about that Nirvanainchains.. Or a symptom gets worse when you think about it enough. I really do think I have something up with my ear though, I really think I'm gonna go to the doctors about it though. Probably tomorrow. I don't think this is anxiety related but I do think my anxiety is making it worse and making me think extremely over dramatic (I hope at least)
I think my bfs younger sister had an ear infection like a week or so ago. Not sure if those things are contagious but maybe I caught it or its ear wax. That's what I'm trying to tell mySelf anyways.. Trying to keep the extreme health worries at bay. It'll only make my hospital visit worse with me thinking horribly rather than positively.

Ugh can't help but worry /:

Well yeah, so true. A symptom do exist first then we think it is something serious and HA will make you feel worse. I have recently posted a thread about having an extremely painful midback to lower back which made me feel miserable, even walking was an agony, I thought it was a kidney problem but now the pain is gone, that’s how anxiety works, the pain is real but it can do no harm, I admit that I am still a worrier but I am trying my best to change how I will react, it’s hard.. And by the way, last year I experienced an intense right ear pain, I think it was in my middle ear, the pain was really painful and it affected the area of my jaw and area around my right temple, and I also have partial hearing loss. I was really worried and wanted a pain killer or do drugs that would make my body numb, so I just carry on through the pain, until 3 or 4days have passed it went completely away. I was puzzled if that was also a symptom of anxiety but thank God it went away.

Savvy_Darling

22-03-16, 17:41

Nirvanainchains, yea exactly..
You mighta had an ear infection though, usually resolve on their own which is why it went away days later.

I made the big step of scheduling a doctors apt this Friday. First time going to this doctor but she'll be my regular after I see her this Friday. I'm nervous. Trying not to think too much about it until the day of but it's tough.
With health anxiety going to the doctors (for me anyways) is so scary because there are so many things out there you can get sick with or be diagnosed with and that's overwhelming. Everyone wants to be told their fine.. And I pray and hope she'll tell me I'm okay. Like I said I'm scared & as of right now I feel lie it's gonna be agony until Friday comes.. Just me thinking about it too much.

I feel proud I finally made an apt though BUT the fear is very real and I feel sick with worry about what the appointment will bring.
Trying to stay strong but it's hard.

Nzxt27

22-03-16, 22:00

Good to hear you finally made that big step to going to the doctor. Maybe it will ease your mind some. It has eased mine some but it's still hard not to question what they tell you. But I am working on it.

Savvy_Darling

23-03-16, 00:18

Nzxt27-- Havent successfully gone yet.. But Friday will come.
I was just proud of following through with making an appointment. Just calling and being able to say I did it is a big step for me.
I'm kinda relieved because I know I'm getting checked out for sure and soon will know what's up with me BUT.. Like I said I'm still fighting off the scary thoughts and worst case scenarios. I try thinking positively and all the things it could be that aren't bad but I can't help but think of all the crazy bad things too.

I remember you telling me before you went to the doctors being scared and thinking of all the bad things but then you were told you're fine.
I feel exactly like you did before update went to your appointment but I haven't gotten the all clear so I hope mine turns out like yours did.

My ears bothering me right now and I can't help but keep feeling scared about what's causing it. :weep:

Merlin24

23-03-16, 00:36

Hi- I just thought I'd let you know I constantly have issues with both of my ears! They can become very painful, hearing loss, blockage & I even dig at them when I'm asleep (or so my boyfriend tells me :doh: ) this has been happening to me for a long time and it really isn't anything to worry about. The only time I get particularly frustrated, upset and anxious is when I can't hear properly.. Stay away from cotton buds or touching your ears. I put a drop of olive oil in my ear before I go to bed which softens the wax, which helps massively. If worst comes to worst (I know this must sound disgusting) my boyfriend actually removes most of the wax from my ear with a thin hair grip- the loop at the end doesn't allow wax to be pushed down any further. I really hope this may help and I'm sure once your hearing/ear feels more normal you'll feel a lot less worried x

Savvy_Darling

23-03-16, 00:41

Thanks Merlin :)
I wanna do a home remedy but I just wanna make sure it is actually ear wax as the problem and nothing else that I could be making worse by messing with it.
Our symptoms do sound similar so I am really hoping its just wax! And yes the hearing issue is driving me crazy like my ear just feels weird and I keep wanting to put my finger in and pick at it which I know I shouldn't.
And good for your boyfriend for being awesome and getting that wax out! That's a real man right there.

Merlin24

23-03-16, 00:46

Good luck on Friday and I'm sure everything will be fine. Olive oil is great for softening if you decide to try in the meantime! :)

Savvy_Darling

23-03-16, 01:49

Thanks Merlin , I appreciate it :)
I hope everything will be.

MyNameIsTerry

23-03-16, 07:04

Well done for booking in, Savanna. Well done for not giving into the anxiety and going to hospital too. :yesyes::yahoo:

Write down what you want to discuss, just some bullet points will do. It can help as it can feel overwhelming at first and we forget things.

Savvy_Darling

23-03-16, 07:36

Ahh thanks Terry! I mean yes totally feel proud of myself for finally getting an appointment. Still scared outta my wits but I'm trying to stay positive.
My ears really bothering me and it definitely is making my anxiety run wild.
Just hope I'll be okay , holding onto thoughts that she'll tell me It's not serious. I'm praying that I'll feel better after the appointment and that it goes well and not bad like my anxiety fueled horror thoughts.

MyNameIsTerry

23-03-16, 07:40

Yep, I understand. When I relapsed I was shaking like a leaf in the car. It took me quite a few appointments not to feel so anxious in the surgery waiting and the tight breathing that would come in when talking to my GP. I think you will find a lot of people have this, but perhaps less so in HA circles.

Focussing on symptoms will certainly make you feel even more anxious but at the beginning it is hard to distract yourself away from them.

You may feel washed out after the appointment. You may even find yourself anxious or perhaps later, but it is still a positive first step and it is necessary in getting better. Some things we just have to find the courage to take a leap of faith over.

Fishmanpa

23-03-16, 14:44

I made the big step of scheduling a doctors apt this Friday.

:yesyes: That's great to hear and I know a huge step for you. Congrats on taking the first steps toward healing! It may not feel like it but it truly is!

Positive thoughts

Savvy_Darling

25-03-16, 22:00

Just wanted to update:

The appointment went well.. Kinda broke down and cried in the office but she was a really sweet doctor.

She looked in my ears and nothing was wrong with either of them, she said that the one that's bothering me looked a little red (inflamed) but nothing bad and probably from it being allergy season.
But aside from that nothing else was wrong.. She said she could refer me to a nose ears and throat doctor but told me they probably wouldn't find anything wrong either.. (So I didn't ask for a referral)

I had her feel that possible lymph node on the back of my neck and when I showed her where it was I was like "do you feel it" and she said "well I don't feel much of anything" and then she told me its probably a lymph node but obviously not a worrisome one. And then told me the only time they worry about lymph nodes is when I'm having other symptoms like unexplained weight loss, waking up and the beds soaked from sweating or fevers. (I have none of that)

When she told me she didn't feel much of anything I almost laughed inside because I was seriously so worried about that stupid thing and it was literally nothing to her. God, anxiety at its best right??

And then I told her about my health anxiety and worries and that's when I cried because it does make me emotional taking about it because when I talk about it I see how much it's making my life hard. I should be enjoying life.

She talked to me about pills and therapy and I told her how I felt about pills and she definitely didn't push me on it. She gave me a paper full of therapists that I can look at and think about calling. She said why not try it and see if it helps.

And then in about a month I'm suppose to go back which i already made an appointment and it's for April 22.

I mean my ear is still bothering me some but knowing I was looked at helps me with not worrying about it. And maybe it is allergies and all this crazy weather where I live. It goes from 70 degrees one day to 40ish degrees the next.
For anyone living in the US, I live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania lol and the weather is very hectic here. And it is allergy season so maybe that's all it really is affecting my ears.

Oh and my blood pressure and oxygen levels were fine too. Heart rate high but I told them I was nervous (understatement of the year) I was so nervous. Usually my heart rate when not anxious is 60-70s.
Weight isn't bad but now knowing it is like to start my treadmill again because I wanna lose at least 20lbs and be in the 130s again.

I feel a little relived and i am gonna calm now and put this ear worry to rest because she said I looked fine.

I'm just happy it wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. The poor nurses couldn't understand why I was so nervous for!!

Just wanted to update.

I am nervous to get any tests done in the future but I'm not gonna let myself worry about all that because it's not the future and I'm just gonna enjoy right now :) so I am glad I saw the doc today, she did help make me feel less alone and crazy!