JGN
22-03-16, 02:01
Hello,
I thought I'd post here although there is a section for introducing yourself as i will be spending most of my time here.
One of the most reassuring things that has happened to me in the last 4 years happened about 5 minutes ago when I saw the Health anxiety section has almost 10x more viewers than any other section, so i'm not alone however at home or in "real" life i am very much on my own in this.
So I'd like to share some problems i have with regards to health anxiety and general anxiety all together.
I'm currently 20 years old soon to be 21, and had my first panic attack at 15 it was a one off and didn't return for another year, it's always been one thing above all others with me and that is my HEART.. Even typing it then raised my heartbeat that's how ridiculous it really is, within seconds of reading or hearing of somebody having a heart attack i automatically assume "I'm next", regardless of their age or health I'm terrified that this thing(heart attack) which has been portrayed as the most painful occurrence in some peoples lifes could possibly hit me one day.
I'm sure i'm not the only person on here that wishes they could sleep for 1 night the way they did pre-anxiety, now don't get me wrong i have took tremendous strides in my battle to overcome this "illness" such as accepting it is anxiety and my heart isn't going to explode (although there's always that "i'm 100% going to die now" feeling) and breathing techniques to prevent a full scale panic attack although a panic attack to me is nothing i have those everyday sometimes as often as 5 times a day the ones i really hate are the "freak outs" which i have managed to avoid for some time now touch wood.
Anyway I'm just looking for some advice really, a few problems i haven't quite dealt with i would like to go over now, such as aches and pains in my back/chest that is most probably a bit of fatigue and little sharp shooting pains that everyone feels now and again, but me being me i instantly think of the worse I'm checking my pulse I'm trying to slow my breathing I'm sat next to a phone ready to dial that ambulance because i have some phantom pain in my jaw/arm/neck.
Another HUGEEEE problem which is effecting my life is exercise/meditation i can't do either of the following if my heart rate raises it's "going to explode" and if it slows down it's "going to stop dead" i just can't shake it no matter what now i have came to the conclusion that alot of this anxiety is caused because i have sinus arrhythmia which is harmless or so i have been told i just can't seem to shake it whatso ever.
It is very strange i have no fear of death in a sense of being non exsistant it is truly a fear of this pain that would feel like a "crushing/squeezing" feeling of my heart, i literally visualize somebody grabbing my heart and squeezing it untill it just stops dead everyday without fail almost like it's a religious thing i visualize every day when i wake up and before i go to bed.
I really want to ask for help but i'm not quite sure what to ask if I'm honest anyway if you read this thank you for taking time out of your day for me :)
I thought I'd post here although there is a section for introducing yourself as i will be spending most of my time here.
One of the most reassuring things that has happened to me in the last 4 years happened about 5 minutes ago when I saw the Health anxiety section has almost 10x more viewers than any other section, so i'm not alone however at home or in "real" life i am very much on my own in this.
So I'd like to share some problems i have with regards to health anxiety and general anxiety all together.
I'm currently 20 years old soon to be 21, and had my first panic attack at 15 it was a one off and didn't return for another year, it's always been one thing above all others with me and that is my HEART.. Even typing it then raised my heartbeat that's how ridiculous it really is, within seconds of reading or hearing of somebody having a heart attack i automatically assume "I'm next", regardless of their age or health I'm terrified that this thing(heart attack) which has been portrayed as the most painful occurrence in some peoples lifes could possibly hit me one day.
I'm sure i'm not the only person on here that wishes they could sleep for 1 night the way they did pre-anxiety, now don't get me wrong i have took tremendous strides in my battle to overcome this "illness" such as accepting it is anxiety and my heart isn't going to explode (although there's always that "i'm 100% going to die now" feeling) and breathing techniques to prevent a full scale panic attack although a panic attack to me is nothing i have those everyday sometimes as often as 5 times a day the ones i really hate are the "freak outs" which i have managed to avoid for some time now touch wood.
Anyway I'm just looking for some advice really, a few problems i haven't quite dealt with i would like to go over now, such as aches and pains in my back/chest that is most probably a bit of fatigue and little sharp shooting pains that everyone feels now and again, but me being me i instantly think of the worse I'm checking my pulse I'm trying to slow my breathing I'm sat next to a phone ready to dial that ambulance because i have some phantom pain in my jaw/arm/neck.
Another HUGEEEE problem which is effecting my life is exercise/meditation i can't do either of the following if my heart rate raises it's "going to explode" and if it slows down it's "going to stop dead" i just can't shake it no matter what now i have came to the conclusion that alot of this anxiety is caused because i have sinus arrhythmia which is harmless or so i have been told i just can't seem to shake it whatso ever.
It is very strange i have no fear of death in a sense of being non exsistant it is truly a fear of this pain that would feel like a "crushing/squeezing" feeling of my heart, i literally visualize somebody grabbing my heart and squeezing it untill it just stops dead everyday without fail almost like it's a religious thing i visualize every day when i wake up and before i go to bed.
I really want to ask for help but i'm not quite sure what to ask if I'm honest anyway if you read this thank you for taking time out of your day for me :)