lavendar
25-03-16, 13:35
I'm so sick of the roller coaster. Every day I feel like I'm fighting off some new fear (usually health related), by the end of the day I'll talk myself down and realize how irrational I'm being, go to sleep feeling 'okay' (not great, drained maybe...but not horribly anxious and maybe even a little peaceful). But I wake up the next morning and I either have fears about something else (some new symptom), or I have to REconvince myself that the thing I was afraid of yesterday is nonsense. Mornings are the absolute WORST.
It's frustrating me to no end! I'm sick of this. Sick of living like this and sick of feeling so drained from it. I have a family- a beautiful family. An amazing husband and awesome kids. And I feel like this anxiety is robbing me of my ability to enjoy them and be the mom and wife they deserve. It's robbing me of the things that I want to do....the things that I enjoy, the things that I've dreamed of, the things that make me ME.
I'm on day 5 of celexa- no horrible side effects other than increased appetite and being a little more tired. No complaints there. I looked into therapy, but unfortunately there aren't any providers in my area that accept my insurance and the cost is just too high to pay privately. I've found some good tips in a Claire Weekes book. Also listening to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast. Any good days I've had recently have been thanks to those 2 resources. But I still have those days that just feel like my legs are knocked out from beneath me.
I'm just so. sick. and. tired. Honestly sometimes it feels like this is a burden I'll have to carry, to some extent anyway, for the rest of my life. And, in the words of my 3 year old, "I just don't wanna.":lac:
It's frustrating me to no end! I'm sick of this. Sick of living like this and sick of feeling so drained from it. I have a family- a beautiful family. An amazing husband and awesome kids. And I feel like this anxiety is robbing me of my ability to enjoy them and be the mom and wife they deserve. It's robbing me of the things that I want to do....the things that I enjoy, the things that I've dreamed of, the things that make me ME.
I'm on day 5 of celexa- no horrible side effects other than increased appetite and being a little more tired. No complaints there. I looked into therapy, but unfortunately there aren't any providers in my area that accept my insurance and the cost is just too high to pay privately. I've found some good tips in a Claire Weekes book. Also listening to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast. Any good days I've had recently have been thanks to those 2 resources. But I still have those days that just feel like my legs are knocked out from beneath me.
I'm just so. sick. and. tired. Honestly sometimes it feels like this is a burden I'll have to carry, to some extent anyway, for the rest of my life. And, in the words of my 3 year old, "I just don't wanna.":lac: